Prince's Diamonds & Pearls #121

How to Handle Disrespect

What do you do when your audience disrespects you? Whether you are on stage, conducting a small meeting in your office, or having a discussion one on one with someone, what is your response to disrespect? Let’s take cues from the 19th century Hungarian virtuoso, Franz Listz:

1. During a concert in the late 1800’s, Listz was performing when the emperor of Russia, Nicholas I, made a late entrance. Even after being seated, the emperor continued to talk out loud with members of his entourage. Realizing that the emperor had no intention of ending his discourse, Listz simply stopped playing and bowed his head. When Nicholas inquired about the hushed silence, Listz replied “Music herself should be silent when Nicholas speaks.” Nicholas then remained silent and Listz was able to finish his recital with the emperor’s full non disruptive and undivided attention.

2. In the drawing room of Princess Metternitch, Listz was summoned to perform for her guests. Upon the announcement of his arrival, the Princess ignored him while she chatted idly with her other guests. Turning suddenly to the pianist, she asked, “You did concerts in Italy. Did you do good business?” Listz bowed stiffly and replied cuttingly, “Princess, I make music. Not business” He then promptly left.

Thanks to Franz Listz and his lack of tolerance for being disrespected by any audience, artists then became the new respected aristocracy in society.

Do you continue a conversation when someone begins looking at their phone? Do you permit people to place their phones on the lunch table or conference table during your discussions? Do you tolerate a guest or colleague habitually arriving late to your meeting? What interruptions are you tolerating during your exchange with others?

People will respect you to the level you respect yourself. People will disrespect you to the level that you tolerate. It’s just the way it works. Like water which seeks its own level, relationships seek their own level of respect. You alone determine the respect that you receive or don’t receive.

Were you ever irritated or angry because someone disrespected you? Are you guilty of tolerating disrespect from others? What level of respect will you require from your audience? If you don’t receive it, simply and promptly walk away. Share in the comments below.

References: How to Handle Disrespect by Darren Hardy