Prince of Thieves

In a series of events this year, I recognized that I may not be as talented as I thought I was.?Throughout my life, I have been a very ambitious and driven person, but it has hit me hard this year as I realized that my role, in a lot of areas, is not what I wanted it to be.?I had written about acceptance before, but it is ironic that in these major areas of my life I had potentially miss-read my own status and potential.

Recently, I sat at the biggest charity event of the year surrounded by community leaders, and realized that I am different.?My efforts in the community have all been grass roots.?I worked my way up to being a 25-year-old president of the board for Big Brothers Big Sisters (a smaller non-profit) and I am a founding board member for the Reading Science Center.?Nothing I have done has been traditional, or easy.?I have taken on bigger challenges than most, but those risks don’t necessarily add up to becoming a bigger community leader.

?A number of years ago, a major non-profit in the area told me that they love what I do, want me to contribute, but I didn’t hold a high enough title in my job to be on the Board.?Sitting at the event recently, I think I realized that might always be true.?I might not achieve my professional goals, which will affect the type of impact I can have on the community.?I am and likely will always be different than the people in that room at the event.?I saw my potential ceiling for the first time.

?Overall, it could just be that my confidence is down, which I recognize is normal, but this roller coaster is hard.?Life is heavy.?I need to take my own advice about acceptance.?All I can do is operate in the box, within the constraints, and execute to the best of my abilities.?In my annual review this year, I actually said as much and referenced that I feel like I need to forgot about my lofty personal goals (my BHAG of growing into a market president), be more present about where I am now, and made a joke (really a half joke) about the girl in the bar who won’t have interest in me until I stop showing her attention.?The focus is on executing and enjoying where I am now.?

I am more of an individual now than ever.?It’s not what I ever wanted, but in being present, I am going to enjoy the moment and be unapologetically me, regardless of what that is.?Maybe my ceiling is set at a certain level and I wasn’t born to be king, but doing things my way, executing in the box, is still a great life and it will be pretty impressive to be the prince of thieves, or something like that.

?And maybe I will still get the attention of the girl, but it doesn’t define me anymore.

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Jason Hornberger is a 30-something year old commercial lender at Orrstown Bank in Berks County.?He would likely be considered a dinosaur by his Millennial peers, but he tries to regularly put together engaging content to show his brand and thought process.?Social media is an online billboard and his goal is to establish himself as an ethical thought leader and someone that other people want to engage with (hopefully in business and in the community).