Pride of Working Out Loud & Proud

I've had a bit of a non-traditional professional career. My first "real" job was in 1985 as a dishwasher at the Sidestep Mexican restaurant in Steamboat Springs, Colorado (not pictured above....sadly no photos of that time exist for me!). The Sidestep was a hole in the wall, a Mexican adjacent dive bar and restaurant. But for me it was a window into a bigger world than I had ever known. I, being a young high school student, thought that having such a job was the next level for my growth and development. I loved that job, and no, not because I especially love to wash sticky, burnt pans in a busy little small town restaurant. I loved that job because the owner, Cliff, had employed a diverse group of folks as his team. I remember all them. The gorgeous Australian skiers who only worked on the off season, and under the table for cash. The bartenders, mostly young women who knew how to flirt to get a great tip. I especially remember Cliff employed an older gentleman named Leonard who was a lovely, differently abled fellow. Leonard lived in a group home and worked around 20 hours a week, washing dishes during the day time at the Sidestep, while I washed dishes at at night. I remember how much Leonard loved to listen to his music while he washed and how he lovingly hung his transistor radio around his neck by a string, singing with the songs that played whilst he washed.

I met so many colorful folks there, from most of the employees and even to the guests, including one gentleman I remember, who was known around town as a "funny" guy who would occasionally end up passed out in a back alley, dressed in head to toe in a gown and heels. He was always welcomed at the Sidestep, and Bonnie, his (well everyone's) waitress, always made sure he had what he needed and got home safely, heels and all. I remember how one evening, he called out from the kitchen where I washing dishes and he gave me directions on how to make him a whiskey sour, and that night I made him probably half a dozen whiskey sours and as he stood up from his stool, swayed a bit, he stumbled over to me, tasseled my hair and slurred, "Thomas, you're a good kid." I remember this because here this "funny", alcoholic man, gave me some of the most affirmation I had ever received. I still love that man to this day, something he likely didn't or doesn't know. I remember screaming at kids who were making fun of him after school, "leave him alone, he's my friend." He just stumbled down the alley but his words planted seeds in my ears, "you're a good kid."

My life took a turn after high school and I entered seminary where I traveled to and studied at a monastery in Missouri; from there I graduated (that's another story), went to Rome, Denver and finally Chicago. And some of you know this, but perhaps a few do not, I was ordained a Roman Catholic Priest. Funny how as I entered "mainstream" work and the world, my life seemed to loose it's color. Things were very black and white and I was repeatedly told from my seminary days through my ordination, that life, that love, was very black and white. Being ordained was my first "career" out of grad school and the beginning of least colorful part of my entire life.

Up and until my priesthood, I had many opportunities to support folks from all walks of life, the down and outs, those who found themselves without a home, the outcast, the forgotten, the migrants, and even those who were not certain where or how of IF they could be part of the world in which I was entering, which was the Catholic Church. But up until I was ordained, I knew and worked with all sorts of people. Once I was ordained however, my ability to expand my world view, my scope of what was acceptable, etc. was limited. It was then I realized, just how much representation mattered.

I left the ministry and priesthood in October of 1999. I had no place to live, no resources and faced a world of unknowns. EVERY SINGLE PERSON I ever knew, EVERY SINGLE PERSON including most of my family, disowned me when I left the priesthood, when I came out as queer (I, like many LGBTQIA+ folks had more than 1 coming out journey - ask me if you'd like to know more). I want to make a statement here, that my leaving of the priesthood was not solely related to my queerness, yes that was a part of it, but my departure had much more to do with my world view, and is a topic suited for other forums besides LinkedIn, in sum though, lack of belief drove me out, not just my queerness. Lack of belief, and a lack of seeing myself represented in any aspect of the world into which I entered.

Once I left the priesthood, I headed for the mall, literally, and applied to any and every job posted in retail. And here, at the mall, in retail, I began to see hope. In 1999, being queer, gay, LGBTQIA, trans, was not widely understood, accepted or appreciated. But at the mall, gay, queer folks were (and are I suppose) represented. My queerness was there in the folks all over retail. This lovely, wonderfully diverse group of individuals selling, helping, folding, cleaning, applying make up, dressing strangers, waiting tables, was a true representation in my experience of a diversity of individuals not only existing in their differences, but celebrating them and THRIVING in them.

In many ways, going into retail as I did saved my life. It truly saved my life. That journey into a space where not only were folks allowed to be different, they were celebrated in their differences. Yes, there have been many set backs and great steps forward in how the LGBTQIA+ community is represented, understood and protected. But I, for one, am grateful to have found over the years increasingly places that do more than tolerate my queerness, they embrace it. I have worked for wonderful companies such as L'OCCITANE en Provence, L'Oreal USA and now Universal Music Group, and at each of these places I have been not only allowed to be me, to express myself, share my story and love who I love, but I have been encouraged me to do so.

During PRIDE Month 2022 I invite companies and individuals to take a moment and to get to know a person's individual story, especially during PRIDE, know your folks who identify as LGBTQIA+. I invite you to celebrate their story, and to ensure that your support of the LGBTQIA+ community is genuine, true and deep. I ask folks who work for companies who flash their PRIDE logos during this month to challenge themselves to ensure that their support is not merely pandering, marketing opportunities, but is expressed in meaningful change, openness and diversity in action, not just in words or labels.

Today, looking back at my nearly 40 years of working (lol I'm getting old), I'm grateful for those moments in life where I saw the wonder of a diverse work force, customer base and chosen family. We mustn't forget that representation truly matters. Today, almost 40 years after our small town's local "funny guy" tasseled my hair and told me I was a "good kid" his gentleness and kindness have stuck with me. He never knew that small gesture, from someone who represented my queerness, even indirectly, saved my life more times than once.

Happy PRIDE all.