The Not Prickly, Not Rotten Way to Network with Nancy Ancowitz

Given how little people love networking, I found myself wondering, "Whether introverts or extroverts, there's got to be a not prickly, not rotten way to network." To find out how, I decided to talk to Nancy Ancowitz, author of Self-Promotion for Introverts: The Quiet Guide to Getting Ahead. I figured that many of the skills that help introverts play well to their strengths and build strong careers can be generalized to all of us.

To view the entire conversation, click here or play the embedded video below.

All the words below are Nancy's, except for the first question, which is Senia's. 

Nancy, what do you believe to be true that others in your field would disagree with you about?

Career coaches will all tell you that you should be networking. Most say they know how to network. But few people are out there doing it.  By networking, I mean staying connected to people throughout their careers, not just when they need something. That means responding to emails and other inputs from real people within 24 hours and actively taking care of others in their networks. Really taking care of others, not just looking to get taken care of themselves. It's so much a two-way street. There is a lot of lip service to networking, but people who are really out there doing it are rare.

Doing some networking on a daily basis is critical. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

·      Who have I reached out to today?

·      Who have I written a LinkedIn recommendation for today?

The four I's are particularly helpful for introverts.

·      Information: What information do I have that someone else might need?

·      Introductions: Who can I introduce to whom? When I get an opportunity that I can’t accept, I don't just say no. I pass it on. I make somebody else an introduction so that two other parties benefit.

·      Insights. A person might say “I'm not connected.” But especially introverts may be great listeners. They can be wonderful sounding boards, especially now during COVID that people are suffering. Giving someone an ear can change their days, can change their lives, can make their experience better.

·      Invitations. I might say, "I just heard about Senia's next talk in her Belief Series. You have to log in, and let's talk about it later." That's an invitation, even virtually. Why not?

Those are the four I's that I think can make a real difference.

I am a career coach, but I wear a lot of hats. I came to my beliefs about networking by having a lot of sad clients, mostly graduate students, come to me. I might hear, "I need a job." COVID makes this hard. The spigots of jobs and internships are getting shut off. But even pre-COVID, I saw neediness and desperation. I know the fix, and I see the fix work day after day.

Action 1: Create your Marketing Mix

Create a networking marketing mix. Play to your own strengths, whether you're an introvert or extrovert. Pick activities that fit your strengths. If you're a good speaker, book yourself some speaking events. They can be either volunteer or paid. They could be facilitating meetings at a community organization. If you're not a good speaker and you want to build that skill, do it. Do some volunteer work. Make it happen.

If you're a good writer, then write. Co-author something. Do a guest contribution to somebody's blog.

As part of your marketing mix, find multiple activities that work for you that play to your strengths. Don’t be a square peg being pounded into a round hold. If you are not a good writer but you are a good speaker, do the one that you're good at rather than forcing yourself.

Though, yes, you can build some skills.

Action 2: Attend Events

What events can I attend whether virtual or real? What’s happening in my sphere? Where can I show up?

Action 3: Connect Through Informational Interviews

Informational interviews are like online coffee chats, just connecting to people. I've never found a job through an ad. Most of my clients, who tend to be graduate students, may find opportunities online. They may find ads. But really, what typically gets them the job is knowing people in the organization because they've networked. When they answer the ad, they can mention the people they know in the organization. Because they’ve used some or all of the 4 I’s with the person inside, that person will hand the hiring manager their resume and say, "You really need to talk to this person." That's how opportunities are happening.

Informational interviews involve talking to another human being just as we're doing right now. It's connecting. The safest way is asking for advice. If all else fails, say, “I'm looking for such and such. I would love your advice. What would you do in my shoes?” Show interest in the other person. Don’t put them on the spot by asking them for an opportunity.

Connect. Send them questions in advance if they would welcome that.

Walking Through a Networking Scenario

Let’s assume you want to talk to Joe Smith, who is on the career path you want to follow. He’s a total stranger to you. 

Total strangers are tough. First, check LinkedIn. Look at his contacts. Does Joe Smith know anyone that you also know? What’s in his profile? Where did Joe Smith go to school? What affiliations does he have? Where does he volunteer? Where does he do everything? You’re looking for the area on a Venn diagram where you overlap with Joe Smith.

Look to see if you have any connections in common with Joe Smith. Then you could say, "Would you please introduce me to Joe Smith?" That's going to have a lot more weight than you going to Joe Smith cold. We all know that, but we often forget.

If you have to go to Joe Smith cold, say something as targeted and succinct as possible. Let's say Joe Smith just got a promotion. “Congratulations on your recent promotion, Joe Smith. I'm currently on X, Y, Z path interested in your field, and I’d love to have a coffee chat with you. Would you be open to that? I’d be happy to find ways to help you at some point.” I love throwing that in because it's saying, "I'm not just looking for help. I'd also like to help you whenever possible."

Not everybody has just gotten a promotion, but perhaps they’ve done something else, such as writing an article or giving a talk or participating in an organization. “I see that you're the president of such and such professional organization. There is a chapter near me that I might like to join. I would love to know more about your experiences.” Something targeted to the specific person. Not like those canned LinkedIn invitations that all say the same thing.

Networking Activities

We have 24 hours in a day. We try to get eight hours of sleep. Then allow time for food, exercise, family, work activities, some leisure. See what you're left with and figure out your real and ideal. What do you really have? Do you have an hour? Do you have 15 minutes? Whatever it is, carve it out. Put it on your calendar. Make it real. Make a list of people to reach out to and figure out a specific ask for each. 

Reconnecting with people and making new contacts are both great. You could go 50/50. You could go 20/80. You pick.

Start with a few warm contacts. An old boss or an old colleague would love to hear from you. You just lost touch. It's been a year. It's been five years. Whatever it is. Start with someone you know to warm it up.

Reach out, talk, find out how they are. It doesn't have to be, "Here's what I'm looking for," at all.

Find out what they want. Find out how you can help them. Find out what matters to them. If they find out what matters to you and you find out what matters to them, then you have a good working relationship. You can help each other.

While reconnecting, try to gain a sense to keep in the back of your head of what kind of information, introduction, invitation, or insight might be useful for this person. The four I’s are can serve as a checklist to fill in as they share information. 

Any good salesperson knows that before you reach out to a prospect, you review all the notes that you have about them, such as if they have a partner, if they have children, their last vacation. Even spending a few minutes before reaching out can make a difference. Because you'll be that much more connected to them, rather than just the generic reach out, "I need something."

When you send a LinkedIn invitation to somebody you don't know, include something targeted. Why do you want to connect? “I see that you're the head of the X, Y, Z club. I'm terribly interested in that topic. I'd love to connect with you, and possibly have a conversation to see how I could contribute to your club.”

Take-aways

Remember how amazing you are as a human being, and be proud of it. A lot of us walk around with imposter syndrome, doubting ourselves and thinking that other people have it better. But remember how amazing you are and how much you have to offer the world. When you network, you are a special person with so much to offer. Many people will be happy to hear from you.

Photo by Cytonn Photography on Unsplash

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