The Price of Success: Addressing The Cause Of Your Burnout

"I'm having a car crash of a week."

This is a phrase that I’ve gotten used to hearing, particularly from clients who are successfully leading companies or running a business of their own.

Outwardly, they are perceived to be successful, to have it all.

But deep down, it's coming at a cost.

More often than not, they’re running on empty. They just don’t see it for themselves.

Is it so hard to believe that ‘success’, that mystical goal that we tirelessly pursue, could be the very thing draining us of our energy?

One thing that me and my clients have in common is a shared narrative involving an upbringing which taught us that in order to make a difference, you need to be working hard.

My grandfather arrived in England from India with barely anything to his name and worked tirelessly for days on end to make ends meet.

My dad inherited the same relentless work ethic and set an example that shaped my perspective of success.

As I matched their dedication, it seemed to reward me with what I thought was success.

I thought I was successful not only because I had a great job, a nice car, a house and a family but because I was working tirelessly for it.

But this mindset started to have a massive impact on me.

Not only on my time with family and friends but also on my health.

I thought it was my job that was the problem, and so I left to start my own business. But six months later, I was working seven days a week and was getting burnt out.

What I realised was that I needed to rewire how I show up in the world.

Looking back now, I’ve been able to deconstruct how my wiring was impacting my behaviour and I realised it came down to 3 main factors.

1. Generational Traits

Often, we are oblivious to the generational patterns embedded within us, unconscious wiring that shapes our actions.

Take a moment to map out your family tree. You'll discover not just the people who came before you but also the inherited patterns and beliefs.

These generational imprints significantly influence our perception of work and success.

2. Guilt

When you're caught in a relentless cycle of work, slowing down can make you feel guilty.

The stillness feels like you’ve killed all of your momentum and makes you think that you're going to have to start from scratch.

For me, the guilt was always double-edged – when I was working, I felt guilty for not spending time with my family.

And when I was with family, I couldn’t stop feeling guilty for not being at work.

It's a moral dilemma that breeds a perpetually guilty conscience.

One that left me and many of my clients feeling like they were in a tough situation that they could never solve.

3. Fear

The fear of slowing down is rooted deeply in our minds.

We fear becoming too comfortable, too lazy, and losing our drive to accomplish anything.

And because of that complacency, our income and success will run out.

Quite often, it’s not just our own voice, but the lingering voice of our parents or loved ones echoing the mantra that hard work is the key to success, a tape that's been constantly playing throughout our lives.

What got you here won't get you there

Just because life isn't moving at a blistering pace, it doesn't mean that you're not progressing.

It's crucial to understand that putting yourself first isn't selfish – it's a necessity.

It’s ok to put yourself first.

If you don't take care of yourself, the impact will be felt not only by you but also by your career, your family, and your life.

Working hard and working more may have got you to where you are today, but what if the same programming is holding you back from the next chapter in your life?

Maybe the next stage isn't about investing more time but channelling more focus.

Perhaps it's not about working more but leveraging your time more effectively to create a greater impact.

The cost of success

Be aware, that success comes at a price – one that isn’t always immediately obvious.

Sometimes, the true cost isn't realised until it's too late.

I've experienced it first-hand, and I urge you to watch out for it.

Often, it's only after years of being trapped in this relentless cycle that we realise the true cost of success - a cost paid in the currency of our health, relationships, and sense of self.

Doing vs Being

What if there was another way of being, one that doesn't involve working yourself to the bone?

Instead of doing more, focus on being more.

It goes beyond learning a fancy new time management technique because if you are anything like I was, all it will do is free up more space for you to fill with more activity!

The reason this happened to me was because I was trying to change my actions before I changed my thinking.

My approach to 'being' hasn't changed.

If your state of 'being' remains the same, your 'doing' will too. ?

Think different to BE different

Let's step back from the constant 'doing' and focus on 'being'.

We don't need to fill our plates to the brim; we just need to be more mindful about what we choose to put on it.

We need to question the generational traits, guilt and fear to understand that the approach that got us here won't necessarily take us further.

My thinking changed when I redefined what my idea of success was – not by the hours put in but by the impact I created.

And not by the amount I was doing but by the quality of who I was being.

With this change in perspective for yourself, not only will you find a way to address your burnout but also discover a new way to lead – a leadership that values balance, health, relationships, and above all, you.

Step into the next version of you

If you've come read this far, it's a clear sign that you're more tired than you realise.

You're stuck in a cycle that takes more from you than it gives.

What if there was a way to break free from this cycle?

What if your input could be effortless?

What if there was a way to achieve the most impact with the least amount of effort?

The other side of this relentless pursuit is a realm of effortless success.

After all, you are more than the sum of your successes.

You are a leader, a parent, a partner, and a friend.

You are a person deserving of care and respect, both from others and, most importantly, from yourself.

The real price of success should never be you.

PS.

If my journey resonates with you or you're curious about how to start your own journey towards work-life balance, I'd love to hear from you.

Let's start a conversation that could be the beginning of a new chapter for you.