The Price of Standing Out: Autism and Bullying at Work

Workplace bullying isn’t loud — it’s subtle, constant, and exhausting.

It’s easy to recognize direct bullying, but quiet actions like sabotage and dismissiveness slowly break down the victims confidence and sense of what’s real.

For autistic employees, this confusion is even greater.

Traits like honesty, persistence, and nonconformity often clash with unwritten workplace norms, making them frequent targets.

Why Autistic People Are Uniquely Vulnerable

Autistic employees often stand out for their strengths: directness, authenticity, integrity, curiosity, dedication, and relentless drive to make things better.

Ironically, these qualities — while valuable to businesses — can spark discomfort and resentment among peers or managers.

Many autistic individuals are used to doubting their own instincts after years of being labeled “annoying”, “weird” or “difficult.”

Over time, they start second-guessing what they feel, convinced the problem is them. They may try over and over to fix the ‘problem,’ but the mistreatment doesn’t stop.

Bullying isn’t about what they do — it’s about who they are.

Recognizing this is the first step toward supporting autistic employees.

Examples of Workplace Bullying

• Undermining: Sabotaging someone's efforts or authority through subtle actions.
• Exclusion: Excluding someone from meetings or decisions that affect their work, leading to social isolation.
• Dismissive Comments: Ignoring or brushing off someone's contributions.
• Excessive Escalation: Blowing minor issues out of proportion and reporting them to higher levels of authority, creating unnecessary stress and undermining the individual's autonomy.
• Triangulation: Excluding someone from direct communication and forcing them to rely on a third party for information.
• Creating Confusion: Deliberately providing unclear instructions to set someone up for failure.
• Unrealistic Expectations: Assigning constantly changing tasks and then criticizing the individual for not keeping up.

What Bullying Isn’t

Most uncomfortable or frustrating moments at work are not related to bullying.

Understanding the difference between constructive feedback and bullying is essential: feedback encourages growth; bullying undermines confidence.

Here’s what bullying isn't:

• One-time incidents: Instances of forgetfulness, rudeness, or tactlessness.
• High standards: Setting fair and consistent performance expectations.
• Constructive feedback: Honest advice or critiques meant to help an employee grow.
• Reasonable instructions: A manager asking you to complete tasks that fall under your job.
• Discipline or warnings: Following company policies to address issues appropriately.
• Personality clashes: Differences in opinion that stay respectful and don’t escalate.
• Fair management: Reasonable actions taken without malice or unfairness.

Bullying is about harm and repetition, not one-offs. Seeing the difference helps focus on real problems.

The Impact of Bullying

For autistic employees, bullying takes a heavy toll.

Traits like perceptiveness, rumination (replaying conflicts), and justice sensitivity (an uncompromising demand for fairness) make navigating toxic relationships even more taxing.

Left unchecked, bullying reduces morale, damages trust, and increases burnout, putting organizations at risk of losing top talent and facing legal consequences.

Studies show up to 60–70% of autistic employees experience bullying, compared to just 15–20% of the general population.

These stats aren’t about bruised egos — they’re about systemic exclusion.

Let this sink in: 85% of autistic adults without intellectual disabilities in the U.S. are unemployed, even though they’re often skilled and eager to work.

The issue runs deeper than unemployment — it’s tied to how autistic individuals are made to second-guess their own worth.

Practical Tips for Autistic Employees

Here are pragmatic strategies to help autistic employees thrive in the workplace:

• Document Everything: Keep detailed records of incidents, including dates and specifics. Use meeting transcripts to spot patterns and gather evidence. Save all records on a personal computer to protect the documentation.
• Communicate Your Needs: Practice articulating strengths, boundaries, and preferences. For example: “I work best with clear priorities — can we outline those together?”
• Call Bullies Out: Ask questions like “Are you OK?” or “Can you explain what you mean by that?” to shift focus to a bully's behavior and keep things professional.
• Build a Board of Advisors: Get a group of trusted peers or leaders who can provide perspective and help strategize responses.
• Practice Self-Advocacy: Role-play scenarios to build confidence in addressing issues calmly, like being excluded or dismissed.
• Join Neurodivergent Communities: These groups provide advice, support, and strategies for navigating workplace challenges.

How Leaders Can Support Their Team

Workplace bullying isn’t a minor issue — it’s harassment.

It drains employee well-being, disrupts team dynamics, and creates legal risks.

Here’s how leaders can help:

• Take Concerns Seriously: Never dismiss reports of bullying. Acknowledge concerns and investigate thoroughly — trust takes years to build and seconds to destroy.
• Provide Constructive Feedback: If someone’s behavior (e.g., dominating meetings) is causing tension, address it respectfully and collaboratively.
• Encourage Documentation: Suggest employees document key meetings or interactions to clarify misunderstandings and ensure accountability.
• Promote Strengths Awareness: Use tools like CliftonStrengths to help employees understand and communicate their strengths, creating a shared language for growth.
• Role-Play Scenarios: Offer employees a safe space to practice difficult conversations, such as addressing conflicts or advocating for themselves.

A More Inclusive Future

Workplaces are evolving, and awareness of neurodiversity is growing.

Autistic employees bring immense value — creativity, problem-solving, and integrity that benefit any team. Addressing bullying and fostering understanding isn’t just good for employees — it’s essential for building stronger, more dynamic organizations.

The goal is simple: workplaces where every person feels respected, supported, and empowered to succeed.

Sources

1. National Autistic Society — Workplace Bullying and Autism
2. Autism Speaks — Understanding Autism in the Workplace
3. Specialisterne USA — Workplace Bullying of Autistic People: A Vicious Cycle