PREVENTING TEENAGE PREGNANCY (I)

PEER PRESSURE.

During adolescence, teenagers often feel pressure to make friends and fit in with their peers. There is no doubt that peers are an important agent of socialization, but when the boundary is not defined, peers can set the standard of behavior and serve as role models, thus shaping the sexual behavior and beliefs of the adolescent. During adolescence, teens become more focused on their appearance and how their peers perceive them. They want to be seen as part of the group, so if teenage pregnancy is viewed as acceptable in their social sphere of influence or amongst their friends, they may seek to become pregnant as a way to gain social acceptance.

Many times, these teens let their friends influence their decision to copulate, even when they do not fully understand the consequences associated with such an act. Some teenagers engage in a sexual act, as a way to appear cool and sophisticated, but in most cases, the result is an unwanted teenage pregnancy.

The “big girls” in their school or the neighborhood, will always want people in their chain of influence and their favourites are people exactly their opposite in behaviour and character. Subtle and crafty in their nature of the approach, they call the innocent teenager derogatory names, just to intimidate her into believing that something is wrong with her lifestyle when they are the ones with defected lifestyle. They paint a false picture of the superiority complex of themselves and paint a false picture of the inferiority complex of their target. They create a false impression that their wayward style of living is the standard and the norm.

They do all these to weaken the self-confidence and in turn pass into their target the spirit of intimidation, so that whenever the so-called “big girls” are around, expressing feelings, thought, or opinions on any subject matter by the innocent teenager becomes difficult if not impossible. The virtues such a girl had hitherto held in high esteem, suddenly becomes what must not be manifested when the so called ‘enlightened’, ‘matured’ or ‘grownup’ friends are around.

The Kaiser Family Foundation states that more than 29 percent of pregnant teens reported that they felt pressured to engage in a sexual act, and 33 percent of pregnant teens stated that they felt that they were not ready for a sexual relationship, but proceeded anyway because they feared ridicule or rejection by their peers.

LIFE APPLICATION (PEER PRESSURE)

Adiza Smith is a 16 years old pretty girl. She lost her dad at the age of 3 and had no memory of her late dad while growing up because Adiza hardly knew her right hand from her left when she lost him. Adiza’s mother decided not to remarry but concentrate on how to give her only child the best education money can buy as her husband left her a fortune. Mrs. Smith gave birth to Adiza in her mid-40s so she pampered her with the good things of life. The genesis of Adiza’s dilemma could be traced to senior secondary school 1 where she met Rosalina. Rosalina is the leader of a group of girls called Girls in Pink; they pride themselves in the knowledge of female sexuality. Adiza’s character and that of Rosalina are like words and opposite. Rosalina soon became close to Adiza under the guise of studying together because Adiza is a very brilliant girl. Soon, Rosalina introduced Adiza to the other girls in the group and they all soon became friends. The first pressure Rosalina mounted on Adiza was to have a boyfriend to protect her as girls are vulnerable. Such suggestion made sense to Adiza who had never experienced the love and the protection of a father. The thought of how her mother would feel learning her daughter now has a boyfriend troubled her for some time. Rosalina eventually convinced her that her mother needs not to know about it since the relationship is purely a casual one with no string attached. Etim was the guy Rosalina introduced to Adiza as a gentle, loving and caring boy. The ‘casual’ relationship continued until one day when Etim touched Adiza in a very sensitive part of her body. Angered by his action, she slaped Etim twice on his face and asked him never to come her way again. Rosalina heard of the incident and asked Adiza why she did what she did. Angrily, Adiza said, “That boy must be out of his mind, he wants me to get pregnant, can you imagine that?” A confused Rosalina asked, “How?” “By touching me,” replied Adiza. Rosalina could not believe her ears as she reeled in laughter.

A rather surprised Adiza could not help but asked, “Is that funny?” “Yes, very funny,” replied Rosalina. Taking advantage of the situation on ground, Rosalina counseled Adiza that touching does not make a girl pregnant. She told Adiza that she can’t remain a virgin till her wedding night as it is not only old fashioned, but that knowing a man for the first time in her life on her wedding night is going to be a mess and not the fun it is meant to be as Adiza will experience the worst pain of her life and her bed will be full of blood. She concluded by saying that no man will enjoy such a nasty experience on his wedding night. Adiza was stunned and disappointed that what she had treasured all her life will eventually be of no value. Rosalina further complicated the issue for Adiza when she told her that, any girl of Adiza’s age who is still a virgin is not only local and uncivilized, but worse than an illiterate, as such a girl is still living in a stone age. Unable to withstand the humiliation, Adiza ran out of the presence of Rosalina. For some time, Adiza avoided Rosalina because she felt highly disappointed in herself that in spite of her brilliant academic performance in school, she can still be so na?ve. Rosalina later sent her a short note telling her not to be ashamed of herself as she will help her out. Adiza eventually met with Rosalina and was advised to allow Etim help her get rid of the shame. The third day after her encounter with Etim, she thanked Rosalina for her advice and assistance in helping her getting rid of the shame and joining the group of the civilized. She specially thanked Rosalina because she experienced it just as Rosalina had predicted; the pain and the blood stain on the bed and for this, she respected Rosalina more. Things however went sour some few weeks after, when Mrs. Smith discovered that her teenage daughter is pregnant with a baby. She was devastated and wept profusely. She took the matter before the school authority which eventually led to the expulsion of Rosalina, Etim and Adiza from the school. The songs of praise Adiza sang for Rosalina soon became curses as she suddenly realized, that what was taken away from her by Etim aided by Rosalina was actually her glory, honour and dignity and what was given in place of that was shame and a shattered future. Mrs. Smith could not bear the pain and the shame brought on her by her teenage daughter, she suffered heart attack and went into coma from which she never came out alive.

Now, Adiza is an orphan by her own making and pregnant for a teenage boy who is nowhere to be found. Her dream of becoming a medical doctor in the future has now been shattered by nobody but herself. What a pity!