Prevent Mistakes ... Lose the Experience
I hear it all the time when I coach boys in volleyball. I hear it all the time from sales managers who travel with their salespeople. I heard all the time from customer service leaders who work with customer service agents. They tell me they have to jump in and help their kid or employee because it was uncomfortable to watch. It is uncomfortable to watch people struggle but when we prevent people from experiencing the mistakes they lose an invaluable experience.
Here's a great example: when my son played basketball for me in a junior high school traveling team he became a very good shooter and one who literally had five buzzer beaters in the last seconds of basketball games. A lifetime experience he actually experienced multiple times which is rare but where did this come from? In a grade school league, he actually missed the last second shot and was unbelievably disappointed if not devastated as the gym was packed with kids and parents. When I ran over to him my major objective was to leverage the experience and get him to re-frame how he looked at it. The disappointment doesn't magically go away, but I asked him a question that stayed with him and does to this day and he's now a junior at the University of Wisconsin-Madison: "are you willing to take the next shot?" I told him I was proud of his courage to take the shot and that they all don't go in but that's okay but do you have the courage to take the next shot? This led him to become a very confident student as his relationship with failure became one that was positive and not life inhibiting.
Here are five questions you should ask someone after an experience that was not ultimately successful:
- What did you learn from this experience that was valuable to you personally?
- What did you learn about yourself from this experience that you're committed to successfully changing on an ongoing basis?
- How do you think this experience will help you go forward successfully?
- What are two things you're committed to changing as a result of this experience and how you go about taking action upon them?
- What is the major thing that you learned from this experience that will positively position you for the next step or situation that occurs similar to this?
We are about to launch a new module or training program called Experience-Based Coaching. Learn more about our training system at our upcoming webcast on July 21st at 11 AM Central time: register here:https://attendee.gotowebinar.com/register/1801859147991569410
Never assume, always ask. A major part of selling is asking the right questions at the right time.
7 年I fully understand the need and benefits of asking (the right) questions at the right time. (This is my definition of what a sales person is all about.) But the questions you have written here seem to be overlapping, and, for me, are very difficult to answer. The purpose of them are clear. But how often do you get clear answers after asking them? Can't they be simplified?
Higher Education Sector
7 年mistakes are worth-while experiences when you do it right the next time!
Thank you Tim I shared this. Very good read.