Pretending you aren't hurt doesn't heal you!

Do you put up a happy face when in fact, you are hurting inside? I can't say about you, but this is what I did.

?? I lost my sister when I was around 8 years.

?? I broke up my 5 years long relationship, my very first one.

?? I lost my paternal grandmother when I was 16 years old.

?? I lost my maternal grandmother when I was 22 years old.

?? I got separated when I was pregnant.

While so many other events shaped the person I am today, the same events led me to believe that showing hurt, anger, and frustration would only make me feel like a loser.

I pretended to be okay when I was definitely not. But this act of showing strength made me quite an introvert who felt exhausted going outside and meeting people. Often I found myself telling lies just to avoid a social meeting. While I kept going strongly academically, there was a point when I felt what's the point of doing anything in life.

Have you ever felt the same?

Here's why I advocate sharing your emotions/ feelings now:

If you keep pretending that you aren't hurt, it can significantly impact your mental health.?Ignoring or denying your emotions can lead to a buildup of stress and anxiety, which can affect your physical health and well-being over time. This can also lead to feelings of depression, low self-esteem, and other mental health issues.

Here's what the science says about ignoring or denying your emotions:

Studies have shown that denying or suppressing emotions can negatively affect mental health. Here are a few examples of studies that support this idea:

1. A study published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology found that people who suppressed their emotions had higher levels of anxiety and depression than those who expressed their emotions more openly. The study also found that people who avoided their feelings had more difficulty managing stress.
2. Another study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology found that people who repressed their emotions had higher physical symptoms, such as headaches and gastrointestinal issues.
3. According to research from the American Psychological Association, emotional suppression has been linked to a range of negative outcomes, including decreased well-being, increased anxiety and depression, and decreased relationship satisfaction.
4. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who suppress their emotions are more likely to experience intrusive thoughts, rumination, and negative self-talk, which can contribute to feelings of depression and anxiety.

By acknowledging your emotions and addressing them in a healthy way, you can improve your mental health and well-being.

This could involve:

• Talking to a trusted friend or family member
• Seeking the support of a therapist or counsellor,
• Practising self-care and stress-reduction techniques, or
• Engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment.

It's important to remember that feeling hurt or upset is okay. Everyone experiences difficult emotions from time to time, and it's important to give yourself permission to feel and express them healthily.

My story: This is what I did after a decade of ignoring my emotions and feelings to build resilience and emotional well-being:

? I started talking about my day on LinkedIn or to a friend. That way, I could speak out and address the issue instead of waiting for "time will heal everything."

? I started labelling my emotions. Whether I was feeling anger, sadness, frustration, or something else, I made sure to name them so that I could express them in a healthy way.

? I changed my diet and sleep routine, which helped me stay connected with my emotions and stay present instead of going into the vicious cycle of guilt.

? I stopped guilt-tripping myself every time I lacked something. I made sure to reflect, find out why, and not beat myself up when something didn't pan out the way I anticipated.

Although I didn't use it earlier, I would request you get in touch with a therapist, counsellor, or licensed mental health professional so that you can find healthy ways to express your emotions.

By doing so, you can avoid the negative impacts of repressing your emotions and build resilience and emotional intelligence.

Your feelings are a door to what's happening inside your mind. If you shut it, the pressure will overload it, making it burst at a certain point. Please don't leave it until that happens.

Be proactive about your mental health!

#mentalhealthmatters #emotionalwellbeing