Pretend to Be the Person You Want to Be

"The best advice I can give you as someone who started out with no confidence and has been in the workforce for 8 years now," wrote a person named Kiki as a comment on an article in The Atlantic, "Is fake it 'til you make it."

Exactly.

At every great leap forward in my life and career, I felt like I was only faking being ready. Driving home from the hospital with my newborn daughter in the back seat, I couldn't believe the nurses allowed my wife and I to assume responsibility for a human life. I wasn't actually a parent, I was only faking it.

When my boss was fired and I was suddenly given responsibility for managing a factory in Asia, I felt like an utter imposter for months. Sitting across the table in Macau from a team of Chinese engineers, I kept wondering how long it would be before they kicked me out and demanded a real manager.

You probably know the feeling, too.

If you wait to accept responsibility until you feel ready to accept that responsibility, your career will be gone before you achieve anything.

Here's a truism they don't teach you in business school, or anywhere else:

No sane person feels ready to accept a great new responsibility.

It is only by shouldering a burden that you learn to trust yourself. It's a bit like riding a bike; I can tell you how to ride it, but to actually ride it you must overcome your fear of falling. 

By the way, you almost certainly will fall along the way. When this happens, you need to try again.

The only effective technique I know for dealing with all this is to pretend that I'm whatever I want to be: a good father, a responsible and fair client, a trusted professional.

Viewed in this context, faking it isn't a bad thing. It's simply a good strategy for summoning the courage and confidence to take a giant step forward.

So, whenever necessary, pretend to be amazing.

Bruce Kasanoff is a ghostwriter for entrepreneurs. Once a week, he runs hands-on Social Media 101 workshops for a maximum of five people in total; these can help you improve your personal brand and content strategy.

He is the author of How to Self-Promote without Being a Jerk, a quick read about doing well by doing good.