Pressure: On a scale of 1 to Virat Kohli

While the Indian women’s cricket team reached the finals of the T20 world cup in Australia, the tour of the Indian men’s cricket team at the Trans-Tasman neighbor didn’t pan out quite as well. It started off with a bang and tapered away. In the middle of this, is Virat Kohli’s slump in batting form.

First, people accused him of being too friendly. When he appeared all pumped up, people asked him if he was setting a wrong example on the field. From accusations of poor technique to a suggestion that his eyesight has become weak, Virat has had to bear immense scrutiny from all quarters. All over the failure in one tour. You could easily substitute Virat Kohli’s name for any of our sports stars.

Imagine the pressure of being publicly scrutinized every time you failed.

Forget sport, even if you’re not playing, people what to know what you ate and what you’re doing. This got me thinking. What if all of our lives were like that? What if you were in the public eye all the time? What if there was running commentary in your life always? Here’s what it might seem like.

Presenting to you, a slice of Deepak’s life, with commentary.

Welcome, everyone. We’re bringing to you “An Hour In The Life Of Deepak.” It’s a beautiful morning, a great day to get out in the sun and get to work. But, what is Deepak doing here? He’s still in bed. Snoring. Is that the right way to snore, Danny? What do you think?

It’s crazy. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone snore as perfectly as this man can. He could wake up in the middle of the night and snore with his eyes closed. Oh, this fellow is something else. Listen to that sound made by air vibrating against his throat. It’s perfect, Greg.

That’s rubbish. My grandmother with a tomato for a bed could snore better than that. But I tell you, there’s something very elegant about his poise. Beautiful, but absolutely useless for snoring well. Sounds like a chainsaw hacking away at a diamond. A disgrace.

Looks like he’s waking up now. He‘s off like a tracer bullet. Down the stairs into the bathroom. He flushes and flushes hard. That was quick. It looks like he’s showered as well. He’s dripping like icecream in the summer sun. Reckon he’d get to work on time, Sanjay?

He’s racing away here. He’s using one hand to put on all his clothes and another to feed himself, and his mouth seems to be doing its own thing with the coffee and the bread and the apple. Oh, this man can do anything. Is that a sock in his mouth and a slice of bread on his foot? I would never have thought of doing it like that. Youngsters these days. Throwing the rulebook out of the window. L&D won't teach you that. He’s writing his own user manual.

Deepak, Deepak, Deepak… Sir, do you think you will complete your work on time today? I have complete faith in my abilities. It’s not about the results; it’s all about the process. You failed to turn in your work yesterday sir, will you feel that pressure today? See, every day is a new day and you take it as it comes. The roads seem wet, do you think this will put you on the backfoot? Frontfoot backfoot, it doesn’t matter. I spent the whole night with both my feet in the bathtub preparing for wet conditions. I’ve pre-wet all my clothes and shoes. I can’t get wet anymore. I don’t complain about the conditions.

You have to be prepared for anything.

What a spicy presser that was? He likes to be prepared, this fellow. Look at him go; he’s hailing an auto, trying to book a cab on his phone, and running after the bus. He’s not leaving anything to chance, is he? Oh no. He’s slipped there, but he’s recovered just in time. Or has he? No bus, calls the conductor and waves for the driver to leave. Deepak looks livid. I’m not sure if he’s cross with himself or the conductor here.

Wait. He’ll calling for the DRS. He’s being selfish here. His hand was nowhere near the bus. He will be utterly disappointed with himself, burning a review like that. I can see clear daylight, a huge gap between his fingers and the bus. I could drive an airplane into that gap. What was he thinking?

Without a pilot’s license, I reckon you may not be allowed to drive an airplane or fly it. Let’s see what the review says.

Give me a side angle with the hotspot, please. Zoom in. He got a fingertip on that bus. It looks like he had something there. I can see a hotspot on the fingertips. I’m sorry, Condi. You’ll have to change your decision. Please go back and pick up Deepak.

*boo* *boo* The crowd is not happy with this decision. Some of his friends on the bus are going “Deepak… Deepak… *clap* *clap* *clap*”, but they’re being drowned out by the opposition. Oh, the drama. Tensions are high. Being on a bus away from home is not easy. Not easy at all. They’re giving him a hard time here. They’re not making way, not letting him get a grip on the railing, not letting both his feet on the footboard.

He’s flailing like a penguin trying to waltz, Greg.

Oh, this is when his partner should walk up to him and calm him down. Just when I say it, he receives some help finally from one of his friends at the tail of the bus. They’re just barely hanging on here, these two. One wrong move and it could be curtains. I almost feel sorry for him. He’s been so scratchy today. Couldn’t wake up on time, couldn’t leave on time, saved by his skin quite literally when trying to catch the bus.

Can't do anything right here. If he tried to gift wrap a present today, he'd dismember himself with cellotape.

Lucky that it's not your birthday then. You'd have a present and a bloody arm. He’s buckled down and holding on dearly now. They’ve thrown speed breakers at him, abrupt acceleration and stops, bags over his head. I even saw a chicken fly over his head, but he’s been a picture of concentration. If you walked down the street and found concentration around the corner, it will have the face of Deepak. He’s put his head down and not trying to do anything rash here.

Oh, what’s this? Commentator’s curse, Hershy. He’s taken his hands off the bar and tried to adjust his hair there. He’s almost lost his footing. What is the need for that? There’s no need to be flashy here. He needs to ply more responsibly. He’s worked so hard until now and almost thrown himself under the bus.

I agree, Sandy. Just hang in tight, get off the next stop, and you can give your hair all the loving that it needs. It’s simple. Plying for the cameras and the crowds. You need to think of the team. If he doesn’t go into work today, they’ll miss a deadline.

Russ, I reckon you’re being a little hard on him. You remember the last time he did something like that, he secured a commercial for that anti-dandruff shampoo. You need that flair and flamboyance sometimes. When you buy a dozen eggs, you need half a dozen of one and half a dozen of another. There’s no point having 12 of the same color. Or is there? But the point is that he’s not an egg. Am I making sense here?

We’ll have to park that thought, paaji. The bus has come to a complete halt. Just as we thought that he could hold on no more. He’s getting off the bus, and look at applause. He’s earned their respect today. Everyone’s giving him a standing ovation, on the bus, off the bus. He's just soaking it in. He walks past the crowd and the swipes past the security who request his autograph.

The crowds still going mad though, Shiv. They’re in a frenzy. Oh. Look at Rahul enter the bus. What swagger. That was why the crowd was on its feet. When your departure is greeted with such fanfare, you surely must realize it’s for the person coming in after you?

Sir, sir, sir. What was going through your mind when you asked for the review? I had to take it. That was the last recognized bus. What motivated you to hold on, sir, despite all the pressure? The team. Always think of the team. When you think of the team, you won’t think of pressure. You’ll want to perform for the team. One last question. Whom were you looking at when you adjusted your hair? I think you need to understand exactly what happened before you ask such questions. Anyway, I’ll tell you.

I wasn’t adjusting my hair. I was trying to get the chicken poop off my head.

THE END

So, the next time your favorite sportsperson doesn’t do well, take a moment before you criticize them. Ask yourself, how well would you do under such pressure? Is it a matter of shame if you’re trying your best and you still fail? Is success everything in life? How often are you successful? So the next time VK or any of your sportstars don’t “succeed”, cut them some slack because on a scale of 1 to Virat Kohli, your pressure may never reach Virat Kohli.

Does anyone have a winner with every sales lead, project, product, content piece, single moment of their working life? If the answer to this last question is no, cut your team and yourself some slack when you fail. There’s more to life and work than being successful all the time.

This article was first published on Medium @karthickrichard.

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to any person is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction, and I do not know anyone who has running commentary in their life.