Pressure Points 4 Better

Welcome to Pressure Points – my fortnightly look back at the last episode of my Better Under Pressure podcast. Here I share my reflections and a few ideas to take away to enable us to be….better under pressure.

In the last episode, I spoke to Nilema Bhakta-Jones, Group General Counsel for Kantar, the world's leading data, insights and consulting company.

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Nilema and I first met each other at the Courageous Leadership event which she organised to fund an education project run by the charity Plan International aimed at continuing the education of disadvantaged girls in Zimbabwe, where she was born.?

She is a qualified Barrister and, in 2020, was named one of the 100 Women to Watch by Cranfield University.

Here are the key takeaways from our chat to have a play with.

1. ‘Force ourselves to be still’

There was a sentence that Nilema used during our conversation that’s remained with me ever since ‘It smacked me out of my addiction to work.’ She was referring to a moment when her children asked her why she never sat still. It's interesting how it only hits home when it’s pointed out by people we care about. The awareness though is not always enough. It’s a start. I've had many conversations, listened to podcasts, read books and articles where I’ve been hit over the head with a statement that has rung true for me and yet I have done nothing with it. I have to do something, however small, to make a shift or it evaporates back into what I've always done.?

Being still is tough when the pressure is on. Stillness is a practice.

It needs practising.

As mentioned in The SHED Method, it can quieten our ‘Dog Brain’ in a moment of pressure ...? and allow us to find a moment of choice.

Nilema uses the phrase “connecting to the universe” as a way of taking a moment for herself. A way of quieting her mind. Being still is different from slowing down. This ‘Still’ time becomes nourishment and can help us choose how we want to be, rather than being bossed by the noise of pressure.

Ask yourself:

How do I practise stillness? How can I make it a regular part of my routine??

2. ‘My influencers connected me to a bigger perspective’

Nilema shared the power of connecting to ‘her influencers’ - pioneers in the Gandhi movement; the struggle in South Africa; the American civil rights activists; her parents. Connecting to what they achieved against all odds gave her a huge source of strength when dealing with pressure as a young woman. ‘What they achieved against all odds gave me the strength to overcome any pressure that I was feeling’.

I recently visited The Academy Museum of Motion Pictures in Los Angeles. It was full of compelling examples of how the many individuals that make up this powerful industry throughout the decades create useful routines and practices to maintain the discipline and dedication required to create their stories. This idea of connecting to your influencers as a source of strength and inspiration was illustrated in the film director Spike Lee’s ‘Wall of Heroes.’ Pictures of his personal heroes in non-cinematic fields - musicians, athletes, activists, and photographers - adorn the walls of his homes and offices.?

We can get so much energy, hope and inspiration from connecting to people who have positively influenced us - either people we know or inspirational people from history. Be it on a wall, on your desktop, in a notebook - having ways to be reminded of how others have dealt with pressure can be a useful source of strength.? Ask Yourself: Who would be on your ‘Wall of Heroes’?

Create a version that works for you as a source of inspiration and strength when you need it.

In each episode, I ask my guest to pick two things they do to perform well under pressure that they would pay forward to anyone listening.

Here are Nilema's "pay forwards":

?3. ‘Strong positive relationships’

Nilema shared the importance for her of having a strong and positive relationship with her boss and the difference that made to her in moments of pressure.?

Whether it's your boss or not, the impact of having someone who boosts you when you are feeling under pressure can be invaluable. If you are a boss reading this, you might ask yourself if someone in your team would say the same of you??

Most people are unaware of the energy they give out to others - particularly under pressure. Knowing who raises you to be your best in these moments is key. Knowing who to limit your time with during those moments can also be key. I love the point that Nilema is raising here. A strong and positive relationship can play a huge part in turning a moment of pressure… to better.?

?Ask yourself:?

If there was one relationship you could strengthen this week…

Who would it be?

Why do they matter to you?

What small connection can you make now?

4. ‘Taking care of yourself’

Once again this is a key ‘pay forward’. The importance of looking after you. It gets mentioned by everyone I speak to and yet it is often overlooked when we’re under pressure. Our urge is to keep going to get through, even if this means working longer, being there for others, striving harder, and practising more. Or what Nilema found herself doing: falling into the trap of ‘fighting for my worthiness’.

I'm reminded once again of the old adage, ‘Rest day is a training day’? Our performance depends on recovery: The SHED basics.????????

Ask yourself: ?

What does ‘taking care of you’ mean to you?

What deserves more attention?

What would the benefit be?

Hope you enjoyed this and please share it with others!