Pressure Points 4 Better

Welcome to Pressure Points – my fortnightly look back at the last episode of my Better Under Pressure podcast. Here I share my reflections and a few ideas to take away that can enable us all to be… better under pressure.

In this episode, I talk to Rachel Joyce - an award-winning novelist and playwright. Over the course of a 20-year career as an actor, performing leading roles for the RSC, National Theatre and Cheek by Jowl, she was always writing. Alongside radio drama, she also wrote the Sunday Times and international bestsellers, The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry and The Love Song of Miss Queenie Hennessy. Her latest novel, Maureen Fry and the Angel of the North completes the trilogy. Rachel is also the author of the bestsellers, Perfect, The Music Shop and Miss Benson’s Beetle.

Her books have sold over 5 million copies worldwide and have been translated into thirty-six languages.

The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry was shortlisted for the Commonwealth Prize, longlisted for the Man Booker Prize and is now a major film - for which Rachel wrote the screenplay - starring Jim Broadbent and Penelope Wilton, due for release in April 2023,

In this conversation, she shares

Why she found herself crying on the beach

What helps her feel 30ft tall and 30ft wide

And the power of an unspoken contract

Here are some key takeaways from our chat for you to have a play with.

1. “Know how to get yourself to the place where you’re not afraid.”

Rachel described a situation where she let her fear get in the way of her success at a book event where she was due to speak.

By going to see other authors speak before her, she let fear take over - comparing herself to them instead of focusing on her speech and doing the things that get her to this place where she is not afraid.

This is a chain we can all get caught in. What can happen when we ignore what we know would set us up for success and, consequently, deny ourselves the chance to create that strong ‘unspoken contract’ between speaker and audience that Rachel talks about in the episode. In her description of how she felt in that situation, she emphasises a few valuable ingredients – which others have touched on too in other episodes – to remain better under pressure.

Get enough sleep - I loved it when Rachel said, ‘I increasingly think I mustn’t be tired.’

Be prepared – really, really know your stuff. Interestingly, I was speaking to a QC recently about how he manages pressure and he replied, “Being better prepared than anyone else in that court!”

Eliminate Comparison - It’s debilitating and, if we don’t control it, can very quickly impact our sense of worth

Have a Self-Talk - A mantra that reminds you of your strengths and who you are at your best.

And finally, have ways to connect to your cheerleaders. This could be as Abi Stephens shared in an earlier episode, ‘your inner cheerleader’ or, as Paula Mackenzie reminded us, ‘If they aren’t there, know that you can call them up - dead or alive.’

Ask yourself:

What do I do to set myself up for success?

2. “Have you got your coat on today?”

We all have tricky people in our lives, whether at work or in our personal lives, and tricky people can easily impact our ability to be better when we’re around them. Rachel mentions that she can be sensitive to people’s moods. While this is valuable in her writing, every strength has its shadow. For Rachel, this shows up as, what she describes as, the tendency to overreact.

When we recognise our tendencies in pressure moments, it's vital to have a ‘pressure practice’. This is a behaviour we have created outside of the pressure to apply when we feel or anticipate pressure. The more we practise it outside of the pressure, the more likely it is to kick in when we are in moments of pressure.

Rachel’s example is exactly this. To prevent her from being overly sensitive to other people’s energies she does 2 things:

1. has a metaphorical coat she puts on to protect herself AND

2. has a very useful self-talk… she says: ‘I’ve chosen to come into this – and so, because it’s my choice, I'm going to do this with grace. This tricky person is going to be there, so take it in and respond in a generous way. Choose to ignore the barb!’

Ask yourself:

What is my ‘Pressure Practice’?

In each episode, I ask my guest to pick two things they do to perform well under pressure that they would pay forward to anyone listening.

Here are Rachel’s "Pay Forwards":

3. “You have to keep practising”

Sounds simple and yet this requires a huge amount of discipline. For Rachel to become a better writer she writes every day. Even when she was an actor, and she was an actor for 20 years, she was writing every day too. It is a well-drilled habit. Create a routine that works for you. Like any elite performer, the quality and regularity of your practice create the impact. Practise makes permanent not necessarily perfect – so it needs to be quality practice and the progress you’re after needs to be measured in a way that makes sense to you.

Here are 4 questions that are worth asking yourself to create a daily practice.

Ask yourself:

Why does strengthening this habit matter to me? (connect to your ambition or desire)

What specific action, skill or routine is the first step?

How am I going to practise? What's my drill?

Who can support me?

4. “Listen to yourself and give yourself permission”

Rachel said, ‘In order to be a writer you have to make the space in yourself to be a writer and honour that space.’ I love this insight and believe it’s useful whether you want to be a writer or not. How often do we honour space to develop our thinking and become better at what we do? We can get caught in doing rather than being and then we run the risk of staying still rather than evolving. Rachel began to learn what she needed and realised that the only person who could give her that permission was herself. She understood her conditions for success and made sure she created those conditions. How many of us truly know what we need and then honour those conditions?

Ask yourself;

What space (literal or metaphorical) do I need to create to keep evolving and to become my best?

If I really listened to myself, what permission do I need to give myself in order to excel?

Next week I’ll be talking to Tendi Sherpa. The amazing sherpa who guided me and 5 other women on a trek in Nepal to raise money to build a school for his village in the mountains. He has also summited Everest 14 times so knows a bit about high performance & pressure!

Hope you enjoyed this and please share it with others!