Pressure. Pressure. Pressure. Now don't be like that. I survived it too.

The leadership paradox: empathy and performance in a world of continuous growth.

In my training sessions, I am often asked how managers are supposed to solve the seemingly insoluble paradox between empathy and performance: on the one hand, everyone now understands that empathy is a crucial skill and that creating people-oriented conditions provides the basis for building trust. On the other hand, they are expected to set high performance standards and, if necessary, to make tough decisions or even personnel decisions. Anything to achieve the company's goals. How can managers master this balancing act? I would like a simple answer. But it's not easy.

Isn't the core of the paradox already in the nature of modern leadership itself?

Where pressure was still the norm until the 1980s, where people were exploited and where an atmosphere of “might makes right” was not uncommon, these times are fortunately over in most places. In the meantime, the idea has been accepted that employees develop best in an environment where ideas are encouraged and fun at work is created, an environment characterized by understanding and support.

I can already hear my generation shouting: “Oh, they should all just buck up – we survived it too.”

But times have changed. Everything is faster. More freedom for everyone. More flexible working models. An international labor market. And most crucially – the market has developed from a labor provider market to a labor recipient market.

And I dare to hypothesize that we would have developed faster in the past and of course achieved “even” better ;-) results if we had replaced pressure with support even back then. But at the same time, greater and faster competition requires constant performance improvement and continuous growth. It's about new groundbreaking business ideas, inventions, and occasionally just ingenious processes.

If you don't grow, you stand still. If you stand still, you lose relevance. If you lose relevance, you make yourself redundant. Too harsh? Maybe. But surely no one would disagree with me when I say:

everything is faster. Managers are faced with the challenge of combining both aspects: empathy and performance orientation.

But what can we do? Where we used to think in terms of an “either/or” approach, the solution may lie in an “as well as”.

The model of situational leadership is certainly worth taking a closer look at here.

Successful leadership in the modern world of work therefore means finding a balance between humanity and performance expectations.

Yes, I know, what an insight. You knew that yourselves too.

It is about creating an empathetic foundation on which high performance and innovation can flourish.

Empathy in this context does not mean dispensing with performance requirements. It does not just mean “feeling empathy”. (Oh God, just writing it makes me feel queasy.)

Rather, it is about creating an environment in which people feel understood and valued, so that they are intrinsically motivated to give their best.

In turn, a focus on performance does not mean ruthlessly exerting pressure. It is about setting clear goals and supporting people in achieving them.

The solution to the paradox lies in the realization that empathy and a focus on performance are not contradictions, but rather mutually reinforcing.

An empathetic leadership style gives people the emotional security they need to perform at their best. At the same time, an appropriate performance orientation promotes personal growth and employee satisfaction.

Now, let's assume that everyone wants to achieve. (And, careful, I'm not saying that everyone wants to do every task.) But I am firmly convinced that attitude makes a difference. To learn something. To work or maybe just to play, there is.

If you are still with me and we are now looking at goal-setting theory in motivation theory by Locke and Latham, then I could claim that specific and challenging goals can lead to higher performance.

The pursuit of “being able to do more” can therefore certainly act as a driver.

At the same time, the self-determination theory of Deci and Ryan shows the importance of intrinsic motivation.

The need for competence, i.e. “being able to do more”, is a fundamental aspect of this theory and can act as an inner driver. I remember the favorite saying of my then three-year-old son: “Do it yourself.”

And he got really angry when I wanted to take it from him or help him.

While we have been looking at the positive aspects of motivation so far, it is important to also consider the flip side. This is where Reinhard K. Sprenger comes into play, who, in my opinion, takes a provocative but insightful look at the topic. Sprenger argues that many well-intentioned attempts to motivate employees can actually have the opposite effect.

According to Sprenger, the key is not to constantly motivate employees, but rather to avoid demotivating them. He even claims, “All motivation is demotivating.” This seemingly contradictory statement is based on the idea that people are intrinsically motivated by nature and that external attempts at motivation can undermine this intrinsic motivation.

In my view, Sprenger's approach complements my previous thoughts, and I would like to encourage you to think critically about the effects of common motivational practices. Instead of focusing exclusively on how we can motivate employees, we should also pay attention to what factors may be demotivating them and how we can eliminate them. It's about balance.

This requires a mindset that is geared towards growth.

It takes leaders and employees who think in terms of opportunities rather than obstacles. People who say, “I don't know how to do this yet” instead of “I can't do this”.

This growing mindset makes it possible to resolve apparent contradictions and develop human, performance-oriented leadership.

It may sound strange, but I think that people who are satisfied with their lives, their work and their environment can achieve more in the long run and also sustain it for longer.

A study by the University of Oxford in 2019 showed that satisfied employees achieve 13% more. So there is a clear correlation between satisfaction and performance.

This study supports my opinion: satisfied people achieve more. It shows that satisfaction and well-being lead to people working more and better. This then also helps the whole company.

And so that it doesn't become one-sided. For those who like to perform at their best:

There are also plenty of sources that show that excellent results also make you happier at work. This shows how closely satisfaction and performance are related and how they influence each other. But who needs what? And yet there is one thing they all have in common that I consider essential. Let's not lose sight of the satisfaction mode.

At one of my employers, where I was very happy, the motto was “We remain dissatisfied”.

And I can say that it motivated me to continuously improve. Every day. Dissatisfied. I loved it. More. Higher. Faster. Further. Many people who, like me, come from a competitive sports background will be able to relate to this. It pushes you forward. But many years later, I can say that it also carries the risk of overwhelming yourself and others.

Instead, we should pursue an approach that combines satisfaction with what has been achieved and the desire for further development.

It's about finding a balance between recognizing what has been achieved and striving for improvement.

Today, I would therefore rephrase the sentence from back then as follows. I am content to be discontent. And thus occasionally allow myself and others the necessary breaks. Perhaps not a huge difference. But it also helps me to see that other people need something different. And I even recognize that this is a good thing.

The leadership paradox of empathy and performance orientation is not an insurmountable obstacle, but an opportunity for true leadership.

By creating an empathetic environment in which high performance is simultaneously promoted, leaders enable their teams and companies not only to grow, but also to be satisfied and fulfilled.

Reflect on your leadership style. Where do you show empathy, where do you demand performance? Identify areas where you can improve the balance. Start today to create a leadership culture that is both humane and performance-oriented. Promote a GrowingMindset in yourself and your employees. Address the apparent contradictions in your leadership role and consider how you can resolve them and develop a new, holistic form of leadership for yourself.

Your employees, your company and, to put it in big words, we will all benefit in the end.

Let's start thinking differently. Rather both and than either or. Please write me a PM or comment on what you think and what your experiences on the subject are.

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