The Pressure of Alcohol In Lockdown – A Very Personal View

Diane Goslar, Expert Patient @DianeGoslar

Well, we’ve now been in lockdown for 3 weeks and I want to give an idea of what it’s like to be confined in lockdown when you’re in recovery from alcohol addiction. 

Trying to cope at the best of times is difficult enough so multiply that difficulty several times over …..

Actually, when lockdown first happened I thought it might be easier to keep sober – no temptation of people drinking next to me, of passing pubs on the street, of seeing alcohol everywhere. But no, it’s turned out to be fraught with problems. I’ve lost my normal coping mechanisms, my supports, my network. It can be lonely and boring and makes it so tempting to fall back onto what used to be my friend and escape – alcohol. The old structure to the day has gone. The routines have changed. There’s too much time for introspection and no way of changing the environment. The normal ways of dealing with this inward looking are simply not there. It’s depressing too as not only are you not able to use alcohol to relieve the yawning gaps you can’t even jolly yourself out of introspection by socialising with others. When you’re an addict and at rock bottom you feel that you’re not worth anything. Your self-image is low and you have no self-confidence. It’s easy to revert to those feelings you had now that life outside has ceased to exist. 

I’m a member of some committees and, as well as contributing to them, they make me feel that I’m doing something worthwhile – that I have something to offer and that’s powerful and encouraging. I’m using my brain and sharing my thoughts. But for now the committees aren’t meeting. I also regularly talk with medical students about what being addicted means and how I manage to stay sober as I’ve now realised I have a much better life without alcohol. But the students aren’t there anymore as the medical schools have closed. Similarly I also enjoy presenting to delegates, being part of conferences etc, learning of course but also feeling good about myself. Conferences and Congress have all been cancelled. I won’t be speaking at them now. 

No Talking. No Presenting. No Sharing. No Questions. No Discussions. No Debates. No Helping. No Feeling Good.

I thought, too, that at home I would at least get away from the constant pressure and presence of alcohol. But no, it’s there in so many of the articles about currently keeping yourself happy at home. Quite a few of these are even disparaging about being teetotal. I find this written obsession with alcohol harder to shrug off when I’m locked into my home environment.

Hopefully life will change soon, but there is no date yet to look forward to, so no target, no end in sight. No goals really.

I must admit that sometimes I wonder if just a glass or two might help me through this dark time, but then I jolt myself back to reality – I am a recovering alcoholic – there is no way that I would be able to stop at one or two glasses and in no time at all I would be back at square one. I can’t give in. I must keep going and not relapse. So, to help, I remind myself of what square one was like and this seems a good time to list why I mustn’t succumb. 

Here below are a few points I’m telling myself as to why not to give in :-

• Think of the effort and pain I’ve gone through to get to where I am.
• The support I’ve had (and still do have when life is “normal”).
• That life is so much better now – it’s not just existing until the next drink.
• What I would lose if I were to relapse. Never mind the health aspect if I relapsed how would I ever be able to look in the eyes of those who have supported me? I would have let them down so badly.
• I mustn’t fool myself. I know that in the long term alcohol would not help me during this crisis. Just the opposite in fact. 

So there you have it – my very personal take on this lockdown.

Finally, I feel that the consequences of the lockdown for those addicted to alcohol and drug abuse etc will be devastating and far-reaching. Both emotionally and economically. I can see some very significant challenges facing us all.

Commentary -

Dr Cyrus Abbasian, Consultant Addiction Psychiatrist 

It has been a pleasure for me to have known Diane for almost 10 years. She is our highly valued Expert Patient and has taught generations of medical students on the damages that alcohol can cause. Her personal views have always been very relevant and powerful. 

In this article she highlights some of the issues that are, or will be affecting addicts in recovery. It can be a struggle for them on a day-to-day basis to remain sober and the added pressures from Coronavirus is now acting as a relapse trigger. Diane has highlighted five points on why she should not give into temptation. She is fully aware that picking up just one alcoholic drink could rapidly, once again, trigger alcohol dependency.

There is an association between trauma, economic crisis and alcohol abuse. At present one way that we seem to be dealing with the Coronavirus lockdown is through drinking. Off Licences remain open and the alcohol aisles of most supermarkets are being emptied. However, alcohol and anxiety are uncomfortable bedfellows. Almost always alcohol - technically a poison - worsens all mental health conditions. Increasing alcohol intake further damages the body irreparably, including its ability to fight Coronavirus. As well as leading to addiction, alcohol harms through accidents, fights and violence. 

Given the negative economical consequences of the current lockdown it is vitally important that individuals do not drink alcohol in excess. Government measures need to be introduced, including increasing the cost through introducing a minimum price per unit of alcohol in England. Also there should be restrictions on its supply and our liberal alcohol laws should change, so that it’s not so easy for the public to purchase and drink at home.

The last thing that we all need is the Coronavirus pandemic being replaced by an alcohol pandemic.