Presenting for the Petrified: Overcoming the fear of public speaking through the inner mind

It was only a 10-min presentation to her team of 20, but Holly’s panic had set in two weeks ago. Just the thought of having to present made her stomach lurch, her heart race and a feeling of panic rise within her. She’d had sleepless nights already and knew it would only get worse, increasing to the point where she couldn’t eat, sleep or think about anything else. How much longer could she keep bluffing her way through, keeping this public speaking fear a secret, pretending it wasn’t the enormous issue that it was? How much longer before others noticed … and then it finally affected her career?

And Holly’s experience isn’t unique. It’s a similar story for many. In fact, the fear of public speaking is often rated as the number 1 human fear. Higher in fact, than the fear of dying. ????

Why your fear of presenting isn’t the problem …

A fear of public speaking is perfectly normal. To stay safe within ancient tribal societies, the brain evolved to avoid social rejection at all costs. It makes sense that facing a crowd might trigger a strong avoidant threat response. Combine this natural reaction with social anxiety, fear of failure, performance pressure at work, imposter syndrome and negative early life? experiences and public speaking phobias are completely understandable. Left untreated though, public speaking avoidance spirals can often last a lifetime, creating unnecessary stress and debilitation and limiting career development and life opportunities. But it doesn’t need to be this way…

… Why presentations skills training is

Whilst a typical 2-day in-person presentation skills course can be effective for many, for those with a real fear of presenting, it can be like jumping off a diving board when you can't yet swim. 'In-at-the-deep-end' deliveries followed by judged group feedback are nerve-wracking even for the most resilient. If you have a long-standing fear around presenting or speaking-up in meetings, or are shy, introverted or neurodiverse, this type of bootcamp training is just too much. Your brain cannot effectively learn in the midst of such fear, let alone take on a multitude of new skills, advice and feedback.

More importantly, because such training only focuses on your conscious mind, it may never really get to the root cause of your issue, namely your non-conscious, automatic reactivity around presenting in front of others. For you, a 2-day training course may be an expensive and exhausting waste of your time. Whilst you may learn some techniques, you’re unlikely to reduce your fear for long enough, in order to be able to practice them.

How much longer could she keep bluffing her way through, keeping this fear of public speaking a secret, pretending it wasn’t the enormous issue that it was?

Overcoming the fear of presenting using the power of the inner mind

The good news is that there is a gentler and easier approach to overcoming the fear of public speaking. Exploring the fears deep within your inner mind, instead of in your conscious mind, allows you to change the association you have around speaking up and presenting. Instead of seeing it as a danger that you need to be protected from, your mind can learn to see presenting as something challenging, but safe and positive. Exciting even! There are a number of ways in which this can be achieved: ?

1.?Hypnotherapy

Jake** is confident and outgoing, yet for some reason that he can’t explain, presenting just terrifies him. The feeling of all eyes being on him panics him. He gets hot, flustered and can’t think. He rushes through his presentations at top speed to get the ordeal over with as quickly as possible. He regrets not taking advantage of speaking opportunities when he was younger and now fears the issue has got too big to resolve. Jake recognizes this is the main blocker in his career.

Systematic desensitization?works to overcome fears in a state of relaxed calm. Working up through the hierarchy of fears, from accepting the invite, to actually presenting, Jake found he was able to remove a significant amount of fear in his mind from many of the stages.

The imagination is the rehearsal room of the mind

The imagination is the rehearsal room of the mind, so social anxiety?techniques, such as freezing imagined presentations to experience a feeling of safety and relaxation within them, allowed Jake to feel calmer and more in control about being in front of a group. As a result, the next time he presented Jake was able to pause and take his time, make sustained eye contact with the audience, smile and feel much more in control. Any initial nerves passed quickly and Jake felt more able to relax in front of a group, allowing his vibrant personality to finally shine through. ?

2.?Current life regression/inner child therapy

Mira grew up in a chaotic home with unsupportive parents and poor schooling. Even though she’s worked hard since to build a future, she worries that her career is being impacted by her phobia of presenting. Fearing she will panic and her mind will go blank when asked to present, Mira avoids speaking up in meetings and makes excuses not to present. Quiet, softly spoken and reserved, Mira is unable to face going on the public speaking training course that she knows might help her.

Current life regression/inner child therapy?helps overcome negative associations and thought patterns that were formed during childhood years. Within a state of calm relaxation, Mira was guided back to the source of her fears. She discovered that the parental voices that had hushed her, yelled at her to be quiet and had told her that her voice was really annoying, had over the years become her own inner voice. That internal voice of criticism was so familiar to her now that she barely noticed it anymore. During her session, each memory was visited, explored and reframed. Changing key associations in this way meant that Mira’s mind could create a new and different set of associations to drive her thoughts, feelings and behaviours going forward. Afterwards, Mira found herself speaking up without thinking in meetings, felt able to take up the challenge of delivering some lunch and learn sessions for her colleagues and was ready to undertake more presentation skills training.

3.?Parts therapy

Mike really wanted to be a good presenter. He’d watched on-line training videos and read some books. He thought he knew how to present, but each time he tried some part of him just went into panic mode. Mike just couldn’t understand it. Why couldn’t he present well? Why did it always cause his brain to trip up and literally go off-line? How could go about fixing this quickly?

Parts therapy?aims to resolve inner conflict, caused by conflicting, self-sabotaging, inner motivations. It works on the basis that whenever your conscious mind and your subconscious mind are in conflict, the deeper needs of your subconscious mind invariable win. Within a calm and relaxed state, the conflicting parts of Mike’s inner mind were identified and their reasonings explored. Mike discovered that a protective part of him came ‘into being’ when he was asked to take the lead in a school play. Just like a computer program that has never been upgraded, that part was continuing to protect him, as if he was still a young school boy.

In the session, alternative ways of encouraging the competing parts or inner drivers to work together for better outcomes were explored. The resulting inner alignment gave Mike a greater sense of peace and focus when presenting, so much so that he actually volunteered to deliver a presentation to new starters.

Looking out at the audience and taking his time, he smiled at them, making full eye contact and feeling in control for the first time ever.

4.?Agnostic Past Life Regression

Alice had tried lots of things in the past to help her overcome her speaking fears, but somehow they never quite worked. Shy and anxious as a child but with no obvious reason why, she wanted to explore the source of her blocks or fears around speaking to a group. She’d had a past life regression previously out of curiosity and wondered if it could help with this issue.

Agnostic past life regression goes to the source of an issue by giving you the experience of a past life that has relevant meaning to your current issue. You don’t have to believe it is real for it to have an impact. Some people choose to view it as fantasy, imagination, metaphor or just their brain making up an inner role play with relevant learnings. Most people approach it with a sense of curious skepticism, making up their own minds afterwards.

In a state of calm, relaxed focus, Alice returned to the life of a poor medieval peasant standing accused of stealing fish from the river. He was in the local court and all eyes were on him. Fear overtook him. This was so unfair. He was just trying to feed his family. With a sense of injustice and anger against those in the court, he was sentenced to jail, where his health declined and his life ended.

Although there’s no guarantees as to which past life your mind will take you to, they typically?do have relevance to your current issues. After having processed the experience, Alice reflected that she no longer needed to view a presentation as such a dangerous ordeal. She is now able to view them in a much more measured and objective way. The experience allowed her to reframe her fears. It is just a presentation after all.?

5.?Presentation Skills Training

The above options all help to change the automatic associations that the inner mind can have around presenting. They aim to replace and reframe the fear of presenting, with a more balanced curious, positive or even excited viewpoint. Presenting for the Petrified inner mind options, including 1:1 presentations coaching and a speaking skills eCourse, are designed to get you safely onto the first rung of the presenting ladder. They will give you a big boost to your confidence and some initial speaking skills. To continue climbing up that presenting ladder, it is helpful to practice and receive ongoing feedback. A follow on course such as Toastmasters which is spaced over 12-18 months, allowing your confidence and skills to gradually increase over time, is highly recommended thereafter.

Whenever your conscious mind and your subconscious mind are in conflict, the deeper needs of your subconscious mind invariable win

What is Presenting for the Petrified?

Presenting for the Petrified is a unique tailored combination of regression therapy, hypnotherapy, parts therapy, presentation skills eLearning and 1:1 coaching, to help you overcome the fear of public speaking. Building confidence first, by tapping into the power of your non-conscious or inner mind, is a psychologically-safe, brain-friendly way to more easily overcome your inner blocks or fears around public speaking. Once your brain is less reactive to the thought of presenting, some simple fun exercises may be included into the end of a session, at a time when the mind is relaxed and calm and able to absorb new learnings. ?Further presentation skills and confidence can then more easily be acquired in any way you choose afterwards.

Overcoming your fears doesn’t have to be so fearful. Consider an easier, gentler, more brain-friendly approach. The past doesn’t have to continue to impact your future.

Relive it, reframe it and release it to restore a brighter future.

I’m Debbie Jeremiah. I help individuals, leaders and groups to improve their work and lives, by accessing the power of their inner minds. I have been a speaker at international conferences, coached new trainers and taught presentations skills training at GE.

These are my own thoughts and opinions and as such, may contain inaccuracies and biases. 3+ sessions are normally recommended. Results are not guaranteed.

Find out more at https://www.presentingforthepetrified.com

This article was originally posted at https://www.debbiejeremiah.com/blog

** Names?and some details have been changed for anonymity