Be Present

I was listening to the radio the other day and the host shared a story about a friend of his who had developed cancer, which was fortunately now in remission. He asked his friend what he had learned from the experience of having cancer. The friend immediately answered, “The importance of being present in my kids’ lives.”

Too often in the past, he said, he allowed life’s distractions to take him away from time with his kids. Now he never misses a chance to be with them. Many people called in to the show to share stories about their dads taking them to sports events or fishing trips or other bonding experiences and how much it meant to them. I too have those special memories of time spent with my father as a child. I cherish them all the more now that he is no longer with me.

As I look back on the experience of raising my daughter it becomes clear that some of the best times of my life were when I was spending more time with her. When she was five years old I would sometimes come home after a long day at work and sit and read to her. That was when I learned how much she loved reading, and how quickly she picked up new words. Soon she knew the stories so well that if I skipped a line she would make me go back and read it. At the end of one of these reading sessions she looked up at me and said, “Daddy, I love you.” Man, what a thrill it was to hear those words!

During her high school and college years we spent less time together. I was busy with work, she was busy with school and both of us seemed to go separate ways when it came to free time. It took one of the worst moments of our lives – my wife fighting for her life in the ICU after heart surgery – to bring us closer again. But like the gentleman who got cancer, this event reminded us all how precious our time with family is and how quickly it can be taken away. Since then our family is closer than ever, and we all benefit from the mutual love and support.

Most regular readers will know that I don’t pretend to have all the answers. I do know a few things, though, and one of them is that life and time will fly by much faster than you think. Take the time to be present in your kids’ lives. There is nothing else you could be doing that is more important than this.