To be present or not to be present.
Marietta Vis
Transformational coach ? Live the life you aspire to ? Authentic relating to self and others ? Embodied Leadership ?
To be fully present or not to be fully present.
Is that really the question? Oftentimes I hear a longing question 'how can I stay present'. I simply answer ... I don't think you can. And it is not you. We keep fluctuating between being present and being on the other side of that.
To be present is to fully be in the moment. Embracing and accepting what is actually happening. It is a being state which us humans have access to (and in the doing it leads to an experience of flow).
But truth be told there are a lot of disruptions of this embracing and accepting that have left their mark in our bodies. Taking a step back to consider our 'shaping history'. Consider for a moment which emotion was not all that welcome in your house, growing up? How does that impact how you experience this emotion now? What work do you need to do to control the emotion? Bracing, shielding, thinking, moving away, towards, against ...? (By the way these are all wise actions based on our need to feel safe).
When all of this goes on inside of us. How can we be present with someone else?
We need to do our own inner work. Being present with ourselves.
Presence is not a given, it is a practice. Think of it this way. As a leader or a coach you have an intention to listen deeply. To have a Leadership or Coaching Presence. Oftentimes without realizing you miss a part of what was said. Or you find yourself thinking of something else or maybe your next question or piece of advice.
To move from 'how can I stay present' to 'how can I notice when I'm not' is a first step in cultivating your presence.
Executive coach leveraging neuroscience, ontological coaching, and software executive experience within higher education and EdTech.
2 年Great thoughts. I do not remember the source, but I remember someone asking an Aikido master how it was that they were ALWAYS centered. The master responded that they were definitely not always centered, but over time they had learned how to return to center more and more quickly. It is the same with presence.
Making work suck less with humor and compassion, one coaching conversation at a time.
2 年I love the reframe you end with, which works for mindfulness, too.