Be Present, like a lighthouse

We talk about AUTHENTICITY. About owning the obvious; not avoiding situations that then create a void in people's lives. We talk about ASSURING others that we are there for them and that we are FOR THEM. We aim to show up, to offer something of worth; something that might help someone BRAVE the storm. But what, exactly, is it that we are talking about??

What does it mean to PRACTICE BEING PRESENT? To show up, as the real me and be present to the real you?

We don't want to be fake, or absent, or negative. But how do we 'achieve' what otherwise should be 'natural'?

PRESENCE is a spiritual discipline. This means it can be learned; that it's intentional; that it doesn't 'just happen' when we're doing other things. It's not something that some people have and others lack. Instead, it is a spiritual good we can pursue and grow strong in.

PRESENCE is a spiritual discipline because it means putting a faith-lens on who we are and what we have to offer. It means, in other words, taking stock and telling ourselves the truth. It means accepting that we can't be everything to everyone; and probably that our lives don't seem to be following a perfectly drawn blueprint... that we haven't quite done everything to spec.

It means humbly acknowledging that in our weakness, we can be strong, as our honest appraisal leaves God plenty of room to shine through us. When people sense this level of honesty, humility and good humour, they draw near. They trust more. They risk being more of themselves; showing up, offering what only they can offer.

Presence fosters greater presence.

As one person seeks to be real, to get honest, to listen long and refuse to bolt when the going gets tough; this encourages the next person to do the same. As a result, the whole community benefits, grows strong. And so we become a people, a group, a ministry, an organization that is known for being present, attentive, invested, trustworthy and yet, at the same time, relaxed. People known for their honesty, humility and humour tend to fear less; they aren't quite as prone to panic. They are even willing to dream in the aftermath of devastation.

They are people, in other words, who know how to speak life; they know what and who they value; and are willing to be part of that better vision for the future. They know that small authentic acts add up to a greater level of authenticity, and therefore not only resiliency but real strength.

People who practice presence do more than grit their teeth in the face of adversity; they are the ones offering others a genuine smile, encouraging them to stand firm.

They are the ones willing to roll up their sleeves; because they are the ones who take time to listen and discern the heartbeat of those around them. They're able to sense, as a result, what's most important, in this moment, for these people. And they act on it. Because they care. Because they're invested; because they've been practicing presence as a spiritual discipline that signals God is with us. We can have faith. We can trust. We can risk and rely on each other to be there when the going gets tough, when the house starts to shake (and shake!), when the whole thing that we've been built up over so many years seems to be in free fall. People with presence of mind, heart, and soul tend to stand firm in these situations and they encourage others to do the same, simply by being who they are: authentic and present, refusing to say 'die' in the storm. Kind of like a lighthouse on the shore; people who practice presence are real beacons in the moments of trial that come with being alive, doing life, seeking God's best and wanting to prove strong.

Presence is personal.

Anyone can practice it. Although it's a good idea to delve in to being more present to others, once you'd had a chance to explore the disciplines that come before it: Solitude, Silence, Contemplation and Forgiveness. It's these four that set you up most brilliantly to practice being present in a healthy way; a way that allows you to give the best of WHO you are (because you will have processed your story in these earlier disciplines and come to terms with any unresolved business of the heart), and to finish well without experiencing the bitter hazards of compassion fatigue or burnout. My book "Seven Spiritual Disciplines, strength for the journey," talks about all of these in detail if you are interested in unpacking this.

There is a time to be present. There are situations that require us to show up. And the more we can practice this (before the house starts to shake!), the better. Because it is a discipline and it does take time to develop and to grow strong in this area. People have needs. Ministries, businesses and organizations have needs. And people who are present are often the best positioned to meet them. But first it means doing the work: the quieter work of carving out solitude, dwelling in silence and learning to spot goodness all around us; and working through any sticky issues around forgiveness. But once we've done all of this, then presence is a bright shining light that draws near to us; and the more we practice it, the more people will feel good about drawing near to us, trusting that we are solid ground; that what might be falling apart just now... can be rebuilt.

People who stand firm signal that projects can happen that will stand firm as well. They may be the people with the smile on their face, but present people also signal a tremendous amount of spiritual solidity. And others sense this; and draw near, out of reach of the storm, and closer to a safe and welcome harbour; one that is marked by its humour, humility and honesty.

For more, check out my new book: SEVEN SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINES, strength for the journey. It touches on seven soulful practices that serve to move us forward on this path of spiritual growth, including how to practice being present. The book comes complete with a series of questions for you to make each one of the disciplines your own.