Present!

There’s a long, colorful and windy road that brought me to this point in my life. But I’ll save that story for another time. For now, I want to share why I'm telling everyone I know (including YOU) to move courageously towards what you desire.

Not too long ago, I came to a point in my life where I was pretty sure I’d hit rock bottom. Now looking back, it was one of the least fond years of my life (but that’s where growth sprouts). I’d made extrinsically motivated decisions about two of the biggest choices in life…where I’d live and what I’d be doing for work. Over the course of a year and some change, I found myself totally miserable. Miserable like, anxious, working myself crazy, seeing people who mattered to me less than once a month, looking for happiness at the bottom of a Nordstrom bag or a glass of fancy Cab. I was in a huge funk. After a few realizations and some painful times in my personal life, I knew things simply WERE NOT WORKING. I understand today, I was living entirely out of alignment with who I truly and deeply am. I was spoken to in whispers and didn’t listen, so they turned to shouts.

As I’ve untangled myself from my lists of “shoulds” the whole lifelong search people talk about kept rearing its head. Purpose. At the mention of the word, I can hear the breath of the people around me quicken. I can feel fear rise as the BIG LIFE questions try to ascend in their throats like balloons trapped in a chimney. Who am I?, What am I doing here?, What would really make me want to dance my butt out of bed at sunrise?…there’s generally a big sigh and change of topic before anyone even broaches the question, …and am I doing any of those things now? Forbidden fruit.

It’s scary. The idea that we’re all plopped here on this massive earth, asked to conform to societies and communities we didn’t choose and almost none of us gets to stop and ask ourselves…What the hell am I doing? I know some of you want to stop reading right now and run the other way. That’s the fear. You’re asking yourself if you have to make some outrageous change in your life in order to fulfill your ultimate, true, highest, most divine purpose. At least that’s how I’ve felt at times…I love living in the world of “All in or all out baby!”

Well, I’m here offering the possibility that discovering contentment can be simpler. And it’s all about mustering the courage to study what “fills your cup” in both simple and complex ways. It’s not about flipping your entire life on its head, moving to Bali and opening a two-way petting zoo (unless that’s your highest, most divine purpose). It’s about taking self-chosen steps, both big and small to define and claim your life experience, even when it’s the unpopular choice. Standing in YOUR truth.

Once I made intentional corrections to some of the major areas of my life and started climbing out of my dark hole, I decided to start testing out speaking my truth and here are a few things I’ve found on my path. For me it means sticking to my sacred morning routine. It’s saying “no” to others to say “yes” to myself. It’s opening up about the fact that I pray and I’m proud of it. It’s letting certain people go, without a safety net. It’s allowing beliefs about what I’m supposed to do morph into decisions about who I want to be. It’s meant letting others down and feeling crappy about it for a long time. What a journey it is.

But it’s also meant feeling less “icky” (that’s what I call misalignment), finding more and more members of my tribe and being proud of who we are together. It’s meant moving myself back to my happy place, New York City. And life in this lane continues to unfold!

Living courageously, even in the small truths can be intimidating and painful, but it is also one of the most gorgeous and liberating experiences of your life. Aligning with who you deeply are is quite frankly the work of your life. It’s ongoing. And no need to try for perfection because it’s not a thing. But every day we practice awareness and alignment we move a step closer to all the greatness life has for us. And that’s why I’m here, to help people yell out a big, courageous “PRESENT!” when life calls your name. 

?So, what's your courageous action?