Present with the Body Language of a Superwoman

As with the last article on Voice, I write this one on Body Language from the heart.

I coach women who are in leadership positions from all parts of the world and of varying ages, and body language is a key area that can often be a barrier to a woman’s executive presence when communicating and presenting.

This article focuses on mannerisms that could potentially be holding you back and diluting your power. If we turn that situation on its head by shifting from deficit to abundance, we move into the arena of you, as a woman in business and leadership…

• Embodying who you truly are
• Presenting and communicating with confidence, presence and power
• Maximising your executive presence and your level of influence

 That is my goal for you here.

In essence, what we are aiming for is for you to allow and authorise yourself to be 100% woman, to be feminine, to be confident, to be empowered and powerful, to own your space and hold your ground.

Whilst there are of course cultural differences and whilst these are explored and discussed in my coaching and training sessions, in this article we are looking at the best ways to communicate in a multi-national setting to a multi-national audience.

When you first start putting the things I mention below into action, it may seem like a lot of things to think about and it may seem unnatural for a while, but so did learning to ride a bike, learning to swim, driving a car, playing a musical instrument. If we are determined and we practice, it becomes second nature. 

Body language accounts for 55% of the impact of your message when people can see you (i.e. not by phone or radio), so it is vital that you use it wisely and effectively.

To become the Master of your Body Language, you first need to master the art and science of breathing in the way we are designed to breathe…

1: Diaphragmatic Breathing - As with the previous article on Voice, diaphragmatic breathing is a fundamental and physiological key to success, not only for the quality of your voice, but also…

a) The efficient intake and then flow of oxygen through your bloodstream and the jettisoning of carbon dioxide.

b) A slower heartbeat

c) Lower or stabilised blood pressure

d) Reduced anxiety. You will feel and be more relaxed

It stands to reason that if you retrain your brain to breathe diaphragmatically all the time, you will be more grounded, more stable, the Captain of your ship (in this case your body, your vessel). The more grounded and stable you look, the more confident you will feel and the more confidence you will instil in others. So, in a nutshell you will increase your executive presence.

2: Body Posture - There are some body posture positions that will dilute a woman’s executive leadership presence. We are mainly focusing on standing up to deliver your message, but many aspects also apply when you are sitting.

Since we have been talking about being grounded and stable, let’s start from the ground up. 

Feet: Women who are consciously aware of their leadership presence adopt a stance that sees both feet firmly planted on the floor, with the feet facing forward and the feet at a distance of around 6 inches or 15 cms apart between the insides of your feet.

A less commanding and stable position is one where the ankles are crossed or one foot is facing to the side. Some women suggest this is what high heels make you do, but I have seen many female leaders stand in high heels with both feet facing forward and they tell me it is totally comfortable to do so.

Avoid small dancing steps and shifting the weight from foot to foot. If you want to move to launch into a new point or part of your presentation, take four or five purposeful steps to a new point on the stage or meeting room, but when you stop, you stop and keep your feet facing forward.

If you are sitting, adopt the same position for the feet, even if they can’t be seen because that position keeps you grounded and firm.

Hips: When standing, keep your hips straight so you don’t drop one hip to the side or have a constant hips-sway movement caused by unnecessarily shifting the weight from foot to foot or doing the small dancing steps.

Dropping the hips is a very common habit for many women. It reduces height/stature. If you are tall use your stature, if you are not so tall you want to maximise what you have got, so why make yourself even less tall? Again, high heels are often blamed, but we know they are not the culprit.

Hands and arms: The most natural and indeed comfortable resting hand position is with one hand gently rested on top of the other with palms facing very slightly up (so that if you were to try to hold water in your hands it would run out) and have them just above the waist around the belly button line. This position is easiest and most natural to do when you bring your elbows into your sides. This position looks strong and stable.

As stated, this is a resting position only, because you want to be as natural with your hand gestures as you possibly can. Use your hands to “talk” and bring your words to life. This of course is all so beautifully demonstrated by Professor Amy Cuddy in her TED Talk, Your body language shapes who you are.

Common challenges with hands are…

1: Holding them low together in the soccer free kick position. This is defensive body language and of course there is good reason for doing that on the soccer pitch when a ball is about to be kicked with force straight at you ;-)

2: Having one or both hands dangling straight down your sides without ever or hardly moving them. This gives the impression of a rabbit in the headlights!

3: When using cue cards, holding the cards with both hands and never ever letting go. This is like presenting in handcuffs so why would you do that. It makes it impossible to express yourself with your hands. Or one hand holds the cue card at 90 degrees like a music stand but never moves, whilst the other hand does all the talking. If you hold the cue cards in one hold just treat them as an extension of the hand and keep moving that hand in unison with your other hand as you would in normal conversation. You can swap the cards from hand to hand every now and again.

4: Grabbing on to one wrist with the other hand. Again like presenting in handcuffs... why restrict your freedom to move and express yourself? Hands behind the back... same deal.

5: When you are sitting around a meeting table make sure you occupy your space by keeping your hands on the table (as a resting position) and use them in a normal conversational way. Many women have a habit of holding their hands together, hidden under the table and that is not occupying space, it is retreating. When that is done there is little if any hand movement or gestures. Again, it’s like being handcuffed and why would you want to impose such a restriction on yourself.

6: Similarly, crossing the arms is generally viewed as closed body language because it puts up a barrier between you and your audience. It also prevents you from using your hands to express yourself and it restricts your ability to breathe diaphragmatically.

Shoulders: Our posture when sitting at our laptops, as we well know, is often hunched over with our shoulders forwards. This gets us into the habit of poor upper body posture. So, whether you are standing or sitting, make sure that your spine is straight, that you are sitting or standing tall This not only looks in control and commanding, it allows your chest to be open which allows for efficient diaphragmatic breathing.

Neck and head: The position that carries the most dignity and leadership authority is that of the neck and head being straight. Many women have a habit of tilting the head to one side. It is a very feminine trait and whilst it can very endearing in certain circumstances, in business it does tend to reduce authority. It can give the illusion that you are not 100% sure and your are looking for approval or affirmation. Be the Captain of the ship.

Neck and head straight also creates the best position and freedom for your vocal cords to vibrate (see previous article on Voice), so your voice will be stronger and have more gravitas. This also ties in with the diaphragmatic breathing.

Facial Expression: It is imperative that your facial expression is congruent with your message. If you are delivering a presentation or message that is positive news, you must allow yourself to become consciously aware as to whether you have a positive look on your face. If you are driving home a message that needs to communicate that your audience must wake up and take stock of the seriousness of the situation, then your facial expression must communicate that. Or you may be delivering some sad news or news that will be received with sadness or even extreme disappointment, so a compassionate expression needs to be expressed.

You might be asking at this moment, does this mean that you have to simply act and put on the appropriate mask. The answer to that is a simple NO, because that is not genuine. What we are talking about how is training yourself (or receiving training/coaching) to become consciously aware and in control of your facial expression. Experience has demonstrated to me that many people (men and women) are not even aware of what their face is doing. Nerves and anxiety take over and we can lose control of our body. We lose the Captaincy of our ship. This causes the crew (your audience) to feel confused or at worse they feel disconnected from you and they start to distrust you.

Film yourself practicing your presentation and play the video file back with the sound on mute so you can focus 100% on your facial expression (and of course your whole body langauge). If your message is positive but your face looks like you are giving a eulogy at a funeral, then you know what to do. Same on the other end of the scale, if your message is very serious but you are happily smiling, you also know what to do.

Eye Contact: In order to maintain authority and conviction, ensure that you aim for between five to eight words per person, eye to eye, before moving onto someone else in the room or conference arena.

Avoid talking above people’s heads, or down to the floor, or out the window. Eye to eye conversation is the only real way to ensure maximum human to connection.

Conversation: Lastly, although it’s not an aspect of body language per se, treat your presentations and meetings as a conversation. A conversation with a clear structure and delivered with great executive presence, but still a conversation. Don’t present, but be consciously aware of your presence.

Practice makes perfect: The good news here is, as with Voice, you don't have to wait until your next presentation or meeting to practice. Your body is with you all the time, so you can start to become conscioulsy aware of your posture all the time and start to adjust and "self-correct" accordingly.

Enjoy, and of course step up to the mic as much as possible and encourage as many other women to do the same. Pass this on to as many women as possible and mentor as many women as you can. Don’t forget the men along the way… I think you know well that many men need your help too ;-)

I would love for you (women and men) to share your thoughts and comments below. Please also visit www.yourvoiceispower.nl

Photos of postures that dilute power, plus diaphragmatic breathing illustration: all from shutterstock.