Presence

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” — Mother Theresa

I am becoming more aware of the sensation of Presence. My own Presence. What it feels like to be alive in this moment right now.

I’m typing these words, to write a blog for November, not sure where it’s going exactly, but wanting to communicate an idea. I can feel the hardness of the computer keys on different fingers as I tap out strings of letters to make words—patterns that my brain and body knows so well, I don’t even think consciously about it as I type. I can put my attention on the sensation of each finger hitting different keys in patterned succession.

It snowed yesterday and the landscape out my window is white, the sky obscured by clouds, a bank of them hovering low and dark over the mountains to the west. As I type and look out the window, I am aware that I am present. I exist . . . like the sky that is always there, no matter the weather, or whether anyone is looking at it or not.

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I’ve practiced meditation for about twenty years now and it’s become part of what I do almost every day. I’ve done workshops and read books and been a seeker of Enlightenment. I’m driven hard to wake up.

Recently a number of experiences have conspired to flip me into some kind of escape velocity. A comprehensive online course I’ve been resisting but finally started, begins by offering the exercise of taking a deep breath and relaxing the mind for 2 to 5 seconds, simply releasing or tuning out thoughts, and turning attention to the fact that “I exist.” It is recommended to do this twelve times a day or more, whenever you remember.

I've been practicing.

I’ve been in communion with others in the space of presence, in four weekly gatherings in November that a dear friend and I decided to host. We wanted to explore this ‘waking up’ thing because it seems like it’s happening a lot to people we know, and there doesn’t seem to be a forum to share and exchange wisdom about the weirdness, frustration, and joy of it.

I've been deeply nourished, seen and heard, and realize I'm not alone.

The non-material world of energy continues to become more and more palpable and real, as I feel energy running in my body, and have experiences of energy movements and releases.

My energy body is becoming more clear and unblocked, with help of masterful practitioners.

Much on the outside is changing as I shift on the inside . . . just like I’ve heard about in all the stories.

We create our own reality very literally, so when the movie we’re projecting changes, the experience of our life changes.

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I am intensely interested in how the human race might become a more enlightened species, with the wisdom to live together in a sustainable way on planet earth.

Some would say that's utopian fantasy, clearly not possible — just look at human history.

I'm not willing to capitulate to that story. Things that have never existed before are always coming into being!

My life has been dedicated to investigating and taking action toward the story that an enlightened humanity is possible . . . that in fact, it is by design headed toward that eventuality.

I’ve been curious about what the mechanism of change might be.

It occurred to me a couple of days ago: Presence is the mechanism of change. That’s it. Just me feeling my fingers hitting the keyboard, just me listening to the fan of the wood fireplace, just me feeling the force of life flowing through my veins, just me feeling the warm sensation of love and gratitude for being alive in my heart, and looking out the window, being present to the world. This is the beginning.

It is as simple as each human being, one by one, realizing and then practicing their own ability to sense their own existence consciously and to be present in every moment. It’s the foundation of a trajectory that leads to a larger perspective of who I am and why I am here, which then leads to different motivations for behavior in the world.

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So this is where this blog writing has lead. Good enough. The light has changed. The sun is coming out. There is magic in the world. I will go have breakfast now.