Prepare yourself for the impending zombie apocalypse with these 8 updated English phrases!

We all know it’s coming.

The walking dead will roam the streets.

Lurching and moaning with an insatiable lust for human flesh!

It’s only a matter of time.

But fear not, armed with these modified English phrases, you may yet survive! Time to prepare yourself to navigate the ominous surroundings and treacherous terrain of a zombie-infested world!

1.?“Zombies want to bite someone’s hand off!”?This is inspired by the saying, “someone will bite your hand off to accept that offer.” In the event of a zombie apocalypse, however, if you give a zombie the chance, they will literally?bite your hand off! Going handless through the zombie apocalypse would be ill-advised, so keep your hands to yourself!

2.?“A bullet in the hand is worth two in the bush.”?The original idiom, “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush,” suggests that having something guaranteed is preferable to the?possibility?of having a potentially greater reward. In a zombie-infested reality, however, it’s better to have a bullet at-the-ready than having to search for two in a bush. Someone scrambling around for bullets in a bush is an easy target for a hungry zombie!

3.?“Dance like no one is watching, unless zombies are watching, then stop dancing and run away!”?We use the phrase “dance like no one is watching,” to express the importance of being true to ourselves without worrying about what people think. This is good advice. Unless, of course, zombies are watching you. Self-preservation trumps self-expression. So if you see a horde of the undead heading towards you, it’s best to abandon your dance moves and make a break for it.

4.?“Don’t look a gift zombie in the mouth!”?The original idiom, “don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” suggests not to scrutinize a gift too closely. The same principle applies in the context of a zombie apocalypse — looking a zombie in the mouth is a surefire way to get bitten. A more pressing question though; who is giving out zombies as gifts in the first place?

5.?“Excuse me, what do you think you are eating?”?The phrase, “what do you think you are doing?” is used when we are indignant about something someone is doing and want them to know about it! So, if a zombie surprises you with a bite to the arm or leg, be sure to let them have a piece of your mind with this one!

6.?“Don’t try to be all things to all zombies.”?The saying “don’t try to be all things to all people,” means that we should not try to please everyone. In the zombie apocalypse, it stands to reason that we should not try to be all things to all zombies, but we especially advise against being their lunch!

7.?“You?should?throw out the zombie baby with the bathwater.”?The original idiom, “don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater,” means to not get rid of something valuable while getting rid of something else that is not valuable. While it’s never acceptable to dispose of a human baby with the bathwater,?it’s safe to say that zombie babies are fair game. What I want to know is, who is bathing zombie babies in the first place?

8.?“A dog is a man’s best friend, except in a zombie apocalypse, then a shotgun is a man’s best friend.”?While it may be true that dogs can be loyal companions in a crisis, they might not be much help against hordes of the undead. In such situations, a shotgun is a much more reliable ally!

So there you have it — 8 helpful phrases to help you survive the zombie apocalypse. I hope they help. With any luck, these modified idioms will see you through the worst the undead have to offer.

If you have any more survival tips or phrases to share, please feel free to share them in the comments below.

Finally, if you have any friends or family that you want to ensure survive the zombie apocalypse, please share this article with them. They will thank you later.

Stay safe out there and remember: in a world overrun by the undead, it is always better to be safe than sorry.