PREJUDICE: THE DEADLY KILLER OF RELATIONSHIPS IN LIFE AND WORKPLACE

PREJUDICE: THE DEADLY KILLER OF RELATIONSHIPS IN LIFE AND WORKPLACE

The Oxford Learners Dictionary defined prejudice as, “an unreasonable dislike of or preference for a person, group, custom, etc., especially when it is based on their race, religion, sex, etc”.

Prejudice is “a strong feeling in favour of or against one group of people, or one side in an argument, often not based on fair judgement”. It is an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge. : an instance of such judgment or opinion. : an irrational attitude of hostility directed against an individual, a group, a race, or their supposed characteristics.

If we pause at this moment, we can realize that we are carrying a truckload of these prejudices since we were born, and more are being added as we go through life. Sometimes we may never get the opportunity to confirm or rebut for ourselves, with facts, some of these prejudices.

My late Sunday School teacher and university professor told us a story of his prejudice at Jos, Nigeria, and the return leg when he travelled overseas for his postgraduate studies.

He was invited to a farewell dinner by a young couple who worshipped in the same church with him in Jos just before he left for his studies overseas. When they served him a sumptuous meal it was a tortuous experience for him as he swallowed every piece like a bitter pill. Why so? He grew up with the single story that people from the Northern part of Nigeria are naturally dirty. When the couple excused themselves for some minutes he tiptoed to peep at their kitchen and rooms and noticed to his surprise that theirs looked cleaner than his. Still his prejudice couldn’t allow him to enjoy the sumptuous meal placed before him. He managed to cut a large chunk of the food, wrapped, and hid it with himself and then struggled to finish up the rest and left.

Fast forward to his sojourn as a postgraduate student overseas. He saw firsthand how white folks were avoiding sitting next to him inside a bus, including his church members. He was a son of a prominent religious leader in Nigeria and so was properly introduced in the church over there. But no one wanted to sit near him and other black African worshippers in church. The last straw that broke the camel’s back was on a Sunday service where his fellow black African sister was caught up in worship and started speaking in an unknown tongue (as the Holy Spirit of God gave her utterance). Some white folks opened their eyes and whispered amongst themselves, “Can you see she is speaking in tongues? Does it mean they too will go to heaven?”

My teacher couldn’t take it any more at this point. He stormed into the office of the pastor of the church to complain. In trying to assuage him the pastor said, “you know we whites have this impression that you blacks stink. But I keep encouraging them to accept you as brethren”. My teacher blurted out, “it’s actually you guys that stink, and I have been enduring it because we are brethren”. The pastor opened his mouth in disbelief as my teacher left his office.

At home he was still fuming with anger when the Holy Spirit accosted him and asked if he was angry. He said, “yes of course”. Then he asked him, “could you remember what you did to your brother with the same skin colour in your own country in Jos? How do you expect a better treatment from people with different skin colour?”

At this point in time he broke down in regrets and repentance.

You don’t have to pass through the karma process before you realize the impact your prejudice may be having on others. Sometimes the prejudice may limit your ability to make progress in life and in career.

I have worked in a team where, for every open opportunity for promotion, the people at my level will tell you not to bother applying as the position is reserved for a particular colleague. That was a self-limiting prejudice, as I was able to ignore the prejudice to apply for jobs and got a promotion.

Do you keep the prejudice about hiring based on gender? You believe a particular gender don’t give their best or would disrupt team dynamics when they go for maternity leave? I see myself as a “workaholic” but I have worked with two female supervisors/colleagues who worked so hard that I almost broke down before them.

Maybe if we didn’t have prejudice on hiring female employees in the past, we wouldn’t have had the challenge of trying to forcefully balance the gender mix at work which we are currently facing right now.

Before you give up on that person because of his/her accent be patient to hear him out. He/she might just be the talent you are looking for to solve that organizational challenge.

What I say to you concerning workplace prejudice I also say to you concerning your personal prejudices about life in general. Confront and deal with them based on facts and situations and you will be better for it and glad that you did.

Thank you.