Pregnancy, Psychological Safety & Performance...

I was a few months into a new job when I was pregnant with my second son. I was in a new function, surrounded by incredibly competent people & I’d be lying if I said I had no self-doubt about my ability to succeed in my role. I was the only woman of color on my team & the only one with a nontraditional background for that role (at the time). All this to say I felt I had a lot at stake & a lot to prove.?

And here I was pregnant with the first trimester symptoms of nausea & exhaustion making it harder for me to give to my work what I deeply wanted to give. And I was also incredibly excited and joyful about raising another human inside of me. The privilege, blessing, & awe of being a pregnant woman weren't lost on me.?

I’d sit in my 1:1s with my manager & her first question would often be -?

“Neha, how are you?” and I’d almost always say - “I’m doing good.”

And yes, it was true that I was doing good but there was always an uncomfortable feeling that I hadn’t yet told her something so important and so relevant to my work and our relationship.

Of course, I had been told to not share the news for the first trimester (and in many situations that’s the right choice). But I knew I had to let her know.

And yet, it was a bit unsettling & it felt uncomfortable to be that vulnerable just a few weeks into my pregnancy with my boss of all people and yet in a powerful way, I knew that my boss of all people, deserved to know this.

So, in my next 1:1, I told her…

What I received next was simple yet nothing short of magical.

She instantly got up from her chair and moved toward me & gave me a hug & said - “Congratulations, Neha. I am so happy for you.”

I still remember how much my body calmed down & relaxed at that moment. I felt safe and seen by a fellow human.

And I told her how sick I felt & that the next few weeks would likely be tough. I assured her I’d meet my deadlines & I’d need a bit more flexibility.?

And here she was again, demonstrating trust and belief in me, and said -

"Of course, not a problem. I know what that season is like. Feel free to work from home when you need to and take naps to recover and I know you’ll get work done."

Every time I think of this story, my heart warms up and I am reminded of the powerful impact of the everyday moments of leadership that a manager gets to demonstrate - behaviors of care, trust, and compassion can go such a long way to bring out the best in people around you.

And a part of me is hurting as I write this because I know most pregnant women don't experience this level of care and belonging at work. Why do we discriminate so much against women who do the much-needed work to bring the next generation of humans into the world?

Over to you - What can you do this week as a manager and leader to create psychological safety and belonging for another human in your world? What questions can you ask and what behaviors can you demonstrate so people feel safe in your presence and are inspired to do their best work on your team?

#workingmothers?#leadership?#psychologicalsafety ?#inclusion

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