Predictably Unique Episode 3

We all think we are unique, but in reality, we all suffer, to a greater or lesser extent, from the same anxieties, fears and frailties- we are all human. In this rich, probing and at times challenging podcast series, David and Simon discuss their thoughts on how others can recover from anxiety, addiction and constant fear by reaching their true selves and living a resilient, fulfilling and rich life.

EPISODE 3 – DAVID: ONE DAY AT A TIME - LIVE IN THE PRESENT

The biggest challenge for anyone experiencing the “black dog” of depression is to stop thinking negatively about the future. When we are really down, we constantly project our current fears into the future. Our mind fills with worst case scenarios, disasters that are sure to unfold, the negative impacts that our current situation will trigger. It’s very easy during these times to move into a defeatist mind set. It’s no longer “what if?”, it’s much more “when this happens, which will follow as sure as night follows day, I will be finally released from worrying. It will be all over.”

How common is all this? How many of us have been at this point at some stage in our lives? I suspect it’s a much more common attitude than we think. As soon as you move on from the present to imagine bad things happening in the future, you push yourself one more step down the stairway to self-abnegation. Your fears for the future reverse course. They swamp your present, so that every dark scenario becomes self-fulfilling.

So, what is the way out? There is a relatively simple remedy. As every addict knows, the surest way to recovery is to take one hour, one day at a time. The future is not there to be imagined. The present is all embracing.

What about the past and the future? Depression and burn out and anxiety do not live in the future. They are with us right now. If you are in danger of self-harm or doing damage to others, it doesn’t help to consider the future. You must live for the day. Anything that helps you exist right here, right now is a lifesaver. How much time do we spend projecting our fears onto the future, when so many of them will never be realized? For those of you struggling with your mental health, the biggest challenge is to get through the day, and the next day, and the day after that. The present is all-important. The future can take care of itself, with or without the negative scenarios we have projected onto it.

SIMON: FIRST THINGS FIRST

We can only really effectively think one thing at a time and do one thing at a time, so why get too far ahead of ourselves? As Stephen Covey says in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. “To live a more balanced existence……. All it takes is realizing that it’s all right to say no when necessary and then focus on your highest priorities.”

How similar is this to One day at a time? If we focus on the task at hand and relax our bodies and calm our minds, we give ourselves the best chance to execute to the best of our ability. I love this one. When I coach or mentor, I tell people to treat each day as a whole lifetime so do your best each day with that in mind one thing at a time.

What about the future? We can never see the future nor control the universe within which we live but we CAN do one thing - focus on the present - our actions. Life is nothing more than a constant parade of current moments each of which we can choose to focus on and so live life with a clear and effective conscience and consciousness. If today was tough- who knows- tomorrow could be better?

How does this all apply in recovery? During active addiction, conflict, mess and disorganization is rife. Confusion and despair are also woven into the fabric of this futile existence. By introducing some order into our lives upon recovery, a soothing, gentle rhythm returns to our lives, one which hugs us, protects us and nurtures us as we move forward. This also applies in all aspects of our lives- all our day's activities, and also to our general health- we avoid HALT – being hungry, angry, lonely and tired- they are priorities. 

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