Predator - Psychopath or Sociopath?

What is a predator and why should we want to know how they think?? A predator is a person who looks for other people in order to use, control or harm them in some way to fulfill a need or compulsion, with complete disregard for their victim or repercussions.

We should care how they think because it just may save your life.

Let’s use Ted Bundy as an example.

He had good looks, was intelligent and charming.? Yet at the time of his execution, he had confessed to over 30 killings, mostly college women, across several states.? However, authorities believe the true number to be 100 or more.

The way Bundy lured his unsuspecting victims was by understanding human behavior, manipulating the situation, which led to controlling the outcome, raping and beating to death his victims. Understanding human behavior helped him get away with murder after murder.

Bundy learned? to prey on the natural sympathies of people and sometimes used a fake cast and crutches.? He would ask women for help before abducting them.? He also understood most people would obey authority figures so he would impersonate a police officer which would enable him to instantly gain their trust.

? Have you ever shaken your head wondering how someone can do a cruel act?

Or say to yourself, “I could never have done that, I don’t understand how “so and so” could.”

We don’t understand because we tend to think everyone should behave the way we do.? Accept the same social norms, follow the same rules and display the same morality.

Well, that is not how it works, there is no, one size fits all, when it comes to how our brains work.

Let’s talk about the predators that walk amongst us, many of which would be classified as sociopaths or psychopaths.

How many are out there? ?

One percent of the general population is a psychopath, that is 1 in every 100 people you know.

Four percent are sociopaths, which is 1 in 25!??

What is the difference between them???

I wondered this myself.? I would use the terms interchangeably when I came across someone I felt was evil.? There are many commonalities, which will follow, but there are differences between the two as well.

Sociopaths have some semblance of a conscience, however small it may be, whereas psychopaths have absolutely none.??

Psychopaths are particularly good at mimicking human emotions.? They can blend better and follow social conventions when it suits their needs.? They are charming, manipulative, display grandiose behaviors and live parasitic lifestyles.? I call them chameleons.?

Whereas, sociopaths are more likely to “lose it” and react violently when confronted by the consequences of their actions. They are more anxious and easily agitated.

They are similar in that they both fall under the same heading in The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Illness, Antisocial Personality Disorder.

Both can be extremely dangerous. They are unable to feel the human emotions we take for granted as the norm. For the most part, the sociopath and psychopath are predisposed towards violence, lack remorse or empathy, are indifferent towards others, and do not care about laws or have a sense of morality.

So why is it important to know all this???

For several reasons, especially from a self-defense/personal protection aspect.

1. We instinctively put our ethics, values, and morals on others, expecting them to mirror our behavior.? When they don’t, we are confused, caught off guard and oftentimes violated and sometimes killed.

Therefore, understanding human behavior is critical to being better prepared when it comes to personal protection.??

Our understanding of right and wrong, our empathy for others can be as different as the color of hair on our heads or size shoe we wear.? It is not one size fits all morally, psychologically or physically.?

Knowing this gives us insight as to better detect predators and not be so easily fooled or drawn into their web of deceit.? Vigilance is crucial to optimizing your personal safety.

1. When in a violent encounter, a sociopath and psychopath have absolute focus on their objective, getting what they want.? This means harming and possibly killing their victim to satisfy an urge or desire.? They don’t have a cap on what is appropriate or acceptable, anything goes to achieve their quest, experience the reward they are after.

Grasping the enormity of this, enables us to get to a state of mind where we must be on the same playing ground or we are defeated before the fight even begins.? When a predator attacks, much like a rabid animal, we must be willing to do what it takes to save ourselves.? You heard the expression, “Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight.”? Well, don’t expect a “fair fight” with someone determined to win at all costs, no rules, no limitations, no backing down.

So let’s use a real life example.

Diana was a new believer and went to a new Christians single gathering back in the 90’s.? A handsome, broad-chested, vivacious man came over and introduced himself. They would have a whirlwind, non-intimate dating period (only got together with? fellow believers in groups) for 3 months before he proposed.??

Being 29 years old and wanting to settle down, she got swept up by his charm and exuberance.? They got married by a Justice of the Peace and on her wedding night she thought, “What have I done?” Not because she was drunk, but in fact, stone sober.? She felt in her core,? she had made a huge mistake.

It proved so immediately. Her freedom was the first to go as she was placed in “isolation”.? She was to stay in their unfurnished,? tiny apartment with no transportation and only scraps in the fridge.??

Starting day one..??

He was quick to alienate her family and let her know “they do not understand the way of the Lord” so she needed to distance herself.? Within days of saying I do, they had their first violent encounter.? They had very little food.? She bought chocolate syrup when they went to the store and he threw it in the trash.? She told him she liked it in her cereal and asked him not to throw away her food, in a nice way of course.? She was sure this must just be a misunderstanding when in fact it set the stage for him controlling every aspect of her life for the next seven, horrific years.

He repeatedly reminded her, violently,? NEVER to question what he says or does.? His tormenting and stalking of herself and their four children for the next 20 years.

Their marriage was a facade for the outside world to see.? She and their children were schooled on how to talk and behave when out in public. ? They? looked like a loving, Christian family and her husband was kind and doting. But behind closed doors it was a totally different story.?

There was never any money, in fact, her husband wrote bad checks in her name and had her get as many credit cards as they would send, again, in her name, so then could charge them up and then not pay on them.? Her mother would sneak in food for her and the children, and conversations were closely monitored for any signs of dissension with her or in public.? And the physical and mental abuse was daily for all of them.

One day, she packed up the kids, two black garbage bags of clothes, toys and diapers and left.? She hid underground for fear he would kill their three children and the three month old in her belly.

It was finally after leaving him and her attorney using her own money to hire a private investigator, that they? discovered the double life he was living.??

During this time, the PI discovered? her husband had tens of thousands of dollars going in and out of several bank accounts (while she constantly feared eviction for non-payment of rent).? His expenses included lots of money spent at fancy clothiers, spas and upscale restaurants (meanwhile they had to ration food and use cloth diapers to minimize expenses). He was a convicted felon with three consecutive nine year sentences, then was released early, due to overcrowding in the prisons.??

On the surface, they looked like a loving, Christian family.? It was perfectly designed by a psychopath that cared nothing for any of them. The children and wife were abused daily without any emotion (except rage), or empathy from this predator.? The court battle was agonizing because he was such a chameleon and fantastic manipulator, the social workers, court appointed representatives, and judges were often fooled into believing he was the victim of a bad marriage and could not possibly be capable of what she claimed.?

At the time they married, she could not fathom anyone being so cruel and calculating.? She knows better now.

???????????Today,? he is 60 years old and presents as a pillar in the community receiving Lifetime Achievement Awards. Behind the scenes, he continues to earn his money illegally, use and abuse people and cause irreparable harm to those caught up in his web of lies designed to protect his facade.??

I am using my own story as an example of how anyone in the community can be a predator.? People are not always as they seem on the surface. They can be a pastor, attorney, volunteer or coach.

Understanding the thought and behavior patterns of a predator is the first, vital step to maximizing our personal safety. They live among us, however knowing a little bit more about them helps us to be more aware of what to look for and less likely to get sucked up into their web of lies and deceit.

Written by Diana Strong

Certified Self-defense Instructor