Pre-conception planning: taking the first steps

Becoming a parent is one of life’s most important milestones. Advances in assisted-reproduction technologies (ARTs) mean that the opportunity to start a family is now being embraced in ever greater numbers by single parents, same-sex couples and those suffering fertility issues. Whilst licensed fertility clinics and "sperm banks" have long been part of the assisted conception landscape, many would-be parents are now resorting to more cost-effective and low-tech methods to find a potential donor or co-parent.

A recent article in The Sydney Morning Herald highlights the growing popularity of social networking sites such as “CoParents.com”, which offer a free online platform for members to connect with sperm donors and potential co-parents in Australia and overseas. Developed in Australia, the "Just a Baby" app offers a similar service and has been described as "Swipe Right for a Baby". However, these often informal arrangements are not without their pitfalls over the longer term.

Whilst the arrival of a baby brings great excitement and joy, it can also create problems when the co-parents or donors find that they have mismatched expectations about the roles each will play in the child’s life. 

Any conflict that results is not only difficult for the adults involved, but has the potential to cause harm to the children. The problem is compounded by a lack of established precedents in the evolving area of fertility law, so resorting to litigation may be costly, time consuming and unpredictable. With so much at stake, preventing these issues arising in the first place can save enormous heartache and costly legal fees down the track.

Pre-Conception Planning is an innovative new mediation service for couples and individuals planning to start a family through same-sex co-parenting arrangements, donor conception, surrogacy or other assisted reproductive technologies. Planning sessions are designed to avoid conflict by bringing the parties together before the birth in a safe neutral setting, to work through any issues and establish clear expectations from the outset.

Highly trained practitioners guide clients through common issues and assist them to clarify expectations, share ideas and express any concerns. Common topics for discussion include:

• What are the roles and responsibilities of the co-parents and donor/surrogate?
• Who will get to name the child and which names will appear on the birth certificate?
• How often and what type of contact will the co-parents or donor have with the child?
• Who will provide for the child financially?
• Will the donor be legally required to pay child support?
• What will be the legal status of the co-parents or donor?
• How will any disputes be resolved following the birth of the child?

During the process, clients may be referred for legal advice with specialists in ART and fertility law, to assist with decision making and provide clarity around each party’s potential rights and responsibilities (including the rights of the child).

The outcome of the session is a Pre-Conception Parenting Agreement that clearly records what was discussed and agreed. This will help put the relationship with a co-parent, donor or surrogate on a firm footing, so that parents can look forward to the birth of their child with confidence and peace of mind.

Note: Sydney Dispute Resolution strongly recommends you seek independent legal advice before entering into any co-parenting and/or donor/surrogacy arrangements and agreements.

If you are interested in finding out more about Pre-Conception Planning, please call Sydney Dispute Resolution on 0447 183 474 or email us at: [email protected]

Source articles: "Swipe right for a baby: hooking up to co-parent" by Neelima Choahan. Sydney Morning Herald, 6th April 2017.

"Swipe right... For a baby!" by Jo Hartley, www.kidspot.com.au 15th March 2017