A Prayer by Michelle Quist the French mystic

A Prayer by Michelle Quist the French mystic

I want you to give me your undivided attention it's a powerful prayer I have fallen Lord once more I cannot go on I will never succeed I'm ashamed and I don't dare look at you Lord. And then I've struggled for I knew you were right near me bending over me watching but temptation blew in like a hurricane and instead of looking at you.

I turned my head away I stepped aside while you stood silent and sorrowful like the spurned fiancé who sees his loved one carried off by his rival when the wind died down as suddenly as it had arisen when the Lightning ceased after proudly streaking darkness all of a sudden Lord I found myself alone ashamed disgusted with my sin in my hands this sin that I selected as a customer selects is purchase this sin that I've paid for but cannot return. Because the storekeeper is no longer there this tasteless and this odious and the sin that now sickens me that I once wanted but I want no more Lord I imagined sought played with fondled for a long time and I finally embraced while coldly bypassing you I embraced that sin my arms outstretched my eyes and heart irresistibly drawn this sin that I've grasped and consumed with gluttony.

It's mine now but it possesses me as the spider web holds captive to fly it's mine sticks to me flows in my veins fills my heart it has slipped in everywhere as darkness slips into the forest at dusk and fills all the patches of light I cannot get rid of it I run from it like the master of an unwanted and mangy dog but it catches up with me and rubs joyfully against my legs every one must notice it I'm so ashamed Lord that I feel like crawling to avoid being seen I'm ashamed of being seen by my friends I'm ashamed of being seen by you Lord

Because you love me but I forgot you I forgot you because I was thinking only of myself and one can't think of several persons at once one must choose and I chose but now your voice your look your love they hurt me they weigh me down they Rea me down more than I send lord please don't look at me like that because I'm naked and dirty down and shattered with no strength left i Dermic no more promises to you I can only stand bowed before you come on son look up isn't it mainly a vanity that is wounded if you loved me you would grieve but you would trust me do you think that there's a limit to my love for you do you think for a moment I have stopped loving you but you still rely on yourself son you must rely on me ask my pardon and get up quickly you see it's not falling that is the worst but staying on the ground