In Praise of Generous Leadership

As we embark on a new year, once again I find myself this first month reflecting on the year past and the year ahead – what am I looking to experience, learn and achieve, what do others around me need and how will I embrace ‘good’ leadership this year??

I keep coming back to a term I read many years ago in a management article – the term was ‘generous.’

And this really resonated with me because I felt I could be that way, that it came far more naturally to me than the ways I was supposed to be more of as a leader.

Being a hyper-shy person well into my teens who preferred books and adult conversation to groups of schoolmates, I have always been uncomfortable with leadership because it was supposed to be visionary, inspiring, assertive (I’ve always been opinionated but that’s not the same!), emotionally intuitive and persuasive.? Things I am not.

But placed in a leadership position I felt a responsibility to ‘be capable’ or at least be competent.? To do good rather than do harm.?

So I decided to be generous with what I had instead of beating myself up over what I didn’t have or couldn’t be.

(Well I didn’t beat myself up too often, and still try not to!)

I can be generous with my time for my team, whether it’s to listen, to guide, to gently course-correct, to help prioritise, to understand their perspective, solicit their ideas, or just to get to know them better.

I can be generous with my knowledge, my strategic thinking, my rational approach to problem solving, my ability to quickly grasp new concepts, my deep experience and broad perspective earned through decades of consulting.

I can be generous with keeping confidences for clients and professional colleagues when they need a sounding board or sympathetic ear, some professional clarity or simply some free advice.?

I can be generous with my trust and give you the opportunity to prove me right.

And I can be generous with myself, ensuring I sometimes check-in mentally or take heed of people around me who tell me to slow down, ease up on myself, say ‘no’ sometimes - because I can’t be generous when I’m burned out as there’s nothing left in the tank to give.? We can’t be good for those we lead if we can’t be good for ourselves.?

After all, leadership is not a role—it’s a way of being.

Seventeen years ago when I founded a new regional business in Singapore under the ownership of an esteemed Australian firm, I had to build a team and develop a culture that took the best of our parent company, blended it with our multi-cultural context in Asia and made it unique through the people who joined us.?

I knew inherently that being generous with my time would be the key to unlocking the full potential of my growing team. ?

When I was in the office I sat in the open plan with everyone else, chatted over morning coffee with the first-arrivers after me, ate lunch with them, personally onboarded every new employee and undertook all the performance evaluations (until at over 20 direct reports it was too many and we wisely reorganized reporting and coaching responsibilities!). ?

Despite a hectic travel and business development schedule I made a conscious effort to be present on the frontline, engaging with my team, learning from them (I wasn’t a technical professional) and listening to their suggestions and challenges. ?I offered guidance and support whenever it was sought and did my best to foster an environment where everyone felt valued, respected and heard on an equivalent footing.

This generosity created a ripple effect within the team and became contagious, creating a workplace where everyone willingly supported each other.? People felt valued and supported, which allowed a family-like culture of community, commitment and creativity to flourish even under intense client pressure.? Ultimately, the success achieved wasn't just in winning projects and meeting deadlines, but in building a team that thrived on mutual respect and shared accomplishments.

I’ve thought a lot about generosity as an important characteristic of leadership and I’ve come to realise that there are two other important elements.

One of these is Gratitude.

Gratitude may seem self-evident in these post-pandemic years - after all, we heard a lot of heartbreaking stories of loss and resilience and hope during lockdowns.? Stories brimming with thankfulness for what people had rather than resentment for what they didn’t.? Gratitude for the little things like the dancing shadows and the warmth cast by sunshine through a window, or the tenderness in a partners voice when they asked us, genuinely, how we were doing.

I also believe that a degree of gratitude can (or should) develop with maturity and experience, and is a prerequisite for developing wisdom. ?

I have travelled independently through geographically and culturally remote parts of the world, moved to a city after university where I didn’t know a soul, moved to Asia to start a new business during the global financial crisis and started my own business more than once.? These experiences have made abundantly apparent the opportunities and advantages, of nature, nurture and context, that I have had in life.

I was challenged a number years ago by one of our youngest team members who would suddenly stop communicating and go silent on internal communication channels for days, letting agreed deadlines slip by.? This was immensely frustrating for the rest of our team and put us under pressure to ensure any client impact was minimal.? My initial reaction apart from frustration was anger at the apparent lack of responsibility when trust and autonomy had been given.? However, over the course of a number of very challenging meetings I made myself listen and try to understand, before rushing to judgement.? I heard enough to decide that this was worth trying to work through together, but with strict boundaries, expectations, bi-weekly check-ins and a time limit of 3 months before a mutual stay-go decision. ?I had a business to run after all!? I cannot be more pleased I took this course of action or more proud of this persons’ professional and personal development and commitment since this time.? Our relationship is deeper, more honest and much more rewarding than I could have hoped for, with the obvious benefits for our entire team and for the business.

As a leader, gratitude nudges me to be less demanding and more tolerant of my team and my colleagues, and to continue to be generous with my time, my attention, my experience and my expertise.

This is not a call for passive, albeit well-intentioned thankfulness for what we receive from others or the privileged upbringing we may have had. ?Do not mistake grateful leadership with handholding or encouraging dependency.? While I am consciously grateful for the opportunities and gifts I’ve been given and the ‘good luck’ I’ve possibly had as well, it doesn’t mean I am any more tolerant of entitlement, self-pity, carelessness, laziness, disrespect or any other excuses not to do better and try harder.

Which brings me to the third important leadership characteristic I try to cultivate - graciousness.?

On one occasion many years ago I was travelling with one of my team members and he mentioned to me how disappointed he was at being passed over for associate when a colleague of similar experience and time with the firm was awarded.? Despite having a tender due the next morning, I suggested we discuss how he felt after we had dinner with the local project team.? We found a quiet place in the hotel, and he shared his insecurities, his hopes and his family pressures.? We chatted well into the night.?

Of course, I did not reverse the decision - because it was right - but I was sympathetic to the impact it would have on one of my dearest team members and wanted to ease this by reminding him how valuable he was to me, and reassure him that the decision was not a reflection on his overall worth.? Through the conversation I helped him understand both the reason for my decision and what we had to focus on for him to be promoted the following year – which he very deservedly was.? His commitment during that year to professional growth and to taking on rather than avoiding challenges set an important example to the rest of our team. ?

Gracious is an old-fashioned word that to me embraces a ‘style’ almost, a way of being around and engaging with others. ?

A gracious leader is respectful but not reverent or necessarily obliging. ?As a leader it’s important to have genuine compassion for your people while recognising your decisions may hurt, confuse or anger them at times.?

A gracious leader does not avoid tough business decisions but is mindful of the impact on people, open and honest in communicating the rationale, and reasonable in efforts to ease unfortunate consequences.?

A gracious leader is humble when appropriate but not falsely modest, like those who regularly expose minor shortcomings on social media, and then wrap them in the cloak of 'determination, discipline and achievement against adversity' to inspire admiration (and likes) in their followers.

I will be honest with you, a small part of me would love to have tens of thousands of followers on LinkedIn, people who praise me for my hard-earned and highly deserved success(!), followers who turn me into an influencer and who feel inspired by the selfies and stories of my personal and professional wins.? In our need for instant gratification, it’s easy to confuse promiscuous posting and popularity with genuinely good leadership.

So I try to be a generous leader, to remember that generosity, gratitude and graciousness are ways of being that make me a better person but that are in the end not about me.?

Being generous, grateful and gracious reflects in the small things we do and the decisions we make individually and collectively every day that in the long term help the people around me succeed and grow in whatever way is important for them.

Generous leadership builds trust and deepens relationships, gratitude develops open-mindedness, flexibility and resilience, and graciousness enables sound, strategic and mindful decision-making.

As leaders we constantly make tradeoffs based on priorities, time and capacity.

When you look at a typical work week what priorities do you see reflected in your schedule?

How do you invest your time – ask yourself where are you truly generous and where might you be doing the minimum expected because there are so many other things to get done?

I challenge you to reflect on where you feel you should have been more generous in 2023, not because you missed out on immediate gratification but because you missed the opportunity to foster more sustainable and widespread benefits.?

Could you have been more generous with your time with the people you lead, with your knowledge and expertise, with your openness to new perspectives and ideas, with your trust?? Or perhaps you need to be more generous with yourself first, so you can reflect this in your ways of being with others.

Choose one way in which you want to be a more generous leader in 2024 and consciously check yourself when you know you are holding back – and ask yourself why? ?

Regularly reflect on the personal impact of being more generous by asking yourself how does this way of being make me feel?? And reflect on the impact on those around you - but don’t expect them to thank you outright.?

Generosity is not a game of ‘if this then that’ and you are unlikely to see direct results in the short term, but it’s likely that over time you will become aware of the subtle ripple effects of your generosity, such as I have seen in engagement, commitment, personal development, retention and team performance.

Not to mention the personal reward of feeling that although I don't have the traits of a natural born leader, I am at least competent and sometimes even quite capable. I think I do more good than harm.

Generous leadership is not weak, it’s positively powerful.

I would like to acknowledge some of the people who in ways large and small have contributed to my experience of what good leadership looks like.? Thank you for probably not even realising the effect you have had on those around you.

In alphabetical order (I could have done age or good looks but that would no doubt have caused an argument!):? Husodo Angkosubroto, Chloe Baum , Erwin Chong , Jackie Cupper , Simon French , Siu Ming (Cen) HONG (GRP, CCP, IHRP-SP) , Kate Langan , Lung-Nien Lee FCB , Patrick Marsh , Peter McCamley , Michelle Myer , Paul Rogers and Michael Zink .