Practicing Presence

Last blog, I talked about how to get access to your fictions. One access is being present -- being able to bring yourself to this time, at this moment.

This blog, let's talk about practicing presence. How do you get yourself to have more facility and capability to be present -- bringing yourself awake and aware to this time, at this moment. 

There's a myriad of good reasons for practice and presence. There are also thousands of books and TED talks about the power of presence and mindfulness. Here, we're most interested in access to practicing presence. My premise is that practicing presence gives you access to powerful action. Action which is correlated with producing the kind of results and impact you want to produce.

There are a lot of teachers available who have done years and years of study, personal practice, and teaching on presence. If you are interested, I highly recommend you research people and studies you resonate with and want to learn from. Some teachers I'm aware of are Pema Ch?dr?n, Adyashanti, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, and A.H. Almaas, to name just a few. I don't want to direct you to any particular teacher because I believe doing the work of finding your teacher(s) is part of the process. 

Today, I'll share four of the practices that I use. These are my main practices for presence. Before we get into those though, know that if you take on practicing presence, this is a game with no end zone. 

If you are committed to taking this on, you will always and forever practice presence.

Every day you have experiences. Each experience adds data to your fictions (fictions are narratives that help you make sense of the world). Given that you're adding to that databank daily, you'll also want to have daily practices for strengthening your capacities, skills, and muscles for bringing yourself present so you chose what goes into your narratives. Those practices allow you to see your fictions for what they are. Then you can choose which direction to go (if any).

Four Practices for Presence

Meditation I use a simple meditation. I've tried a number of them, and some work better for me than others. Personally, I don't care for guided meditations because I like the discipline of sitting quietly. I have to press myself to simply sit. I sit in a chair and close my eyes (in a place with minimal distractions). Years ago, I started with a twenty-minute meditation because it was an assignment from a class I was taking. Whatever amount of time you choose, make sure it's in your Goldilocks Zone. Your Goldilocks Zone is not too soft, not too hard, but just right. So if twenty minutes is too hard, then start with ten. 

With eyes closed, I focus my attention on a space right below and behind my belly button. The Sufis call this area your Kath. When I started, this made no sense to me at all. I kept practicing sensing into that area until one day, I could feel 'something' there. This grounds me in my center and that supports me in being present.

As you probably know, there are many forms of meditation. If this one doesn't work for you, keep looking and practicing until you find one that does. 

Walking Meditation  I particularly love walking meditation. Because there are plenty of possible distractions, I only practice walking meditation for 10 minutes at a time. That way I'm more likely to maintain my presence. For those of you who find it more difficult to be physically still, you might find walking meditation helpful.

Note: Move as slowly as possible. This is not power walking or jogging. You can't move your body super slowly without paying attention to how you're moving. That supports you to keep focused. Move all body parts slowly. As I said, I don't do this meditation for longer than 10 minutes because I'll lose my focus. And the purpose of it is for me to get grounded and practice maintaining focus.

I particularly like doing this meditation outside because when I'm focused and present nature becomes so much more vivid. I smell the grass, the flowers, the scent of the trees, the water around the little pond -- or the smell of somebody's fired-up grill. I notice that things look more colorful to me because I'm focusing on them. I do this once a week, but if it works for you, you can certainly do it more often. 

Breathing  Breathing is a useful way to create presence. Because we are breathing all the time though, in order to have your breathing support presence, you'll need to consciously focus on your breath and breathing. A technique I learned some years ago that works well for focus is called Box Breathing.

Box Breathing, or square breathing, works by visualizing your breathing as if you are breathing up one side of a box, holding your breath across the top of the box, exhaling down the other side of the box, and holding again across the bottom of the box. Use a count of four seconds for each of the sides of the box (inhale, hold, exhale, hold -- all for four counts). I do at least three "boxes." Focusing on the counts and holding my breath will reground me and bring me present. If you want, you can use a longer count. 

 Coaching While talking about coaching may seem self-serving, I really do this. I have been working with my coach since 2008. While you can have any outcome for a coaching engagement, mine is about practicing presence. I work with a coach who specializes in that. She asks me questions that support me to see where I'm not being present and to sense what's in the way of presence. She asks me questions that help me decipher the fictions I've created and to get present to why those fictions have worked for me in the past. Working with a coach is a way to get outside of my head and into presence. Since 2008, I have had sessions with my coach at least once a month, every single month. I have never missed a month. I am committed to that work. That work is for my spiritual development and growth. It is for presence. 

These are my top four practices for presence -- sitting meditation, walking meditation, box breathing, and coaching. 

Pick at least one to practice this week, or create one of your own. Let me know in the comments how it goes.

Have a great week.