Practicing Gratitude with Malya. Sixth Edition

Happy Rosh Chodesh Iyar!?

Today is not only Rosh Chodesh, but it is also my birthday! I am so grateful to Hashem for letting me get to this age!?

I clearly remember my birthday last year. I was standing at the Kosel. I flew to Israel for Pesach last year, knowing that the only place I wanted to be was in the old city on my birthday, and that is exactly where I was. While I was davening, I had no idea what that new year would bring me, but I knew that I was starting my new year in the right direction: talking to G-D. This past year I learned many lessons in business, accomplished two of my big goals for which I had been striving for a while, overcame really big challenges, developed more of my faith in Hashem, and developed some really strong friendships that I am grateful for having.??

One of these big accomplishments of mine this year has been that I put on 3 debates! It has been a dream of mine to do one debate and this past year I did three of them! This last debate was off the charts. We had six powerful debaters including: Ellie Rothstein of Kav L'Noar , Moshe Klein , Avrohom Leffler LCSW , Esther Goldstein LCSW, Sensorimotor, IFS, EMDR Consultant , Hindie M. Klein, PsyD , and Dr. Shani Verschleiser . I learned so much from you incredible humans. I learned how you can disagree with one another, yet at the same time you can be so respectful towards each other. I am feeling so fortunate for having had the chance to work with each of you!

For at least 3 years now I have had this dream of interviewing someone live on stage in front of an audience. This year I finally accomplished that goal! Not only did I interview one person live this year, but I did four live interviews. This picture was taken during Hadas Soul Talk Coaching interview. When she was speaking you were literally able to hear a pin drop, that is how quiet it was. Everyone was fixated on her story. It was inspiring. The courage that Hadas had to share her story definitely set the tone for the night. Thank you Hadas for agreeing to be interviewed and trusting me to help you share your story for the first time in public.

This birthday I am not at the Kosel and yet again I have no idea what is in store for me, but I do hope it will be a great year for me!

I want to express how grateful I am that I am putting out a newsletter this month. Last Rosh Chodesh, I was going through so much pain because I was scammed that I couldn't even write the newsletter. So, writing one today feels very uplifting and it shows me that I am strong like a lion. Those two people who tried to take advantage of me last month will not succeed in stopping me. Yes the situation paused me, but I will continue to root for myself and I am grateful for that.?

I am also truly grateful for the outpouring of support I received. When I posted the video that many of you saw, I was really broken and I knew that I had to share the situation with you all to let it off my chest. I feared that if not, I would fall apart completely. To all of you who showed me tremendous support and sent me personal messages, I am truly grateful to you. I also received many calls from people all over the world, including Israel. Here are just two examples of people who helped me: One man called me the night of the Bedieka in Eretz Yisroel. It was almost 1 a.m. his time, but he felt he needed to show me support. Someone else called me Erev Pesach and spoke to me for an hour and really helped me through the situation. I am so grateful to each and every one of you, and I want to say that Erev Pesach I literally felt you each holding me up.?

Not only did you show me support in the moment, but you really allowed me to put everything aside and focus on the holy holiday of Pesach. Pesach for me this year was very very special. Baruch Hashem I have so many things to be grateful for, so I will share a few. My grandmother, as many of you know her as Nana, came from California this year to be with us for Pesach. The last time I spent Pesach with her was, I think my Bat Mitzvah year; let's just say, it’s been at least 10 years. Nana is Sefardi so, our seder was so enjoyable hearing Nana sing her Sefardi tunes. I really took the time to be present in the moment.?

Each year, I usually use the same Haggadah, but for some reason I used a different one this year and I am so grateful for that. This year, I used the Rav Shteinman Haggada and I was glued to it all Pesach! Each page had another lesson that I knew was meant for me. It was as if Hashem had placed that Haggadah at my seat on purpose. It’s as if He wanted me to read all of those lessons. My goal for Pesach was to feel free from the troubles I was going through and guess what? I was freed. I still have not fully resolved it, but I am not letting it eat away at me like it was before pesach. Now I am handling it in a different way and hopefully Hashem will help me get through it soon.?

As I learned about the month of Nissan I found it interesting that the energy of the month is to let things go. For some people, letting things go comes very naturally to them, but I personally have a very hard time letting things go. It is not that I want to hold on to the pain, it’s just in my nature. For as long as I can remember I have been this way. But, another thing that I have heard about Nisan is that the people who live according to nature will see no change this month, but the people who live above nature (those who believe in G-D) will find they can achieve things above their nature. For me, letting things go is above my nature, now I know how I am able to let go of the hard feelings because I managed to tap into the energy of Nissan which has allowed me to “let it go.” I am not saying that I will give up on resolving the situation, but I am not attaching my heart and soul to it anymore.?

It is brought down that the Yam Suf did not want to split for Bnei Yisroel when they were running away from the Egyptians. So why did it split in the end? It saw the bones of Yosef. Once the Yam saw the bones of Yosef, it said, “If Yosef can go above his nature, so too can I go against my nature,” and then the sea split. This comes to teach us that we all are born with our own nature, but one should never think that they can’t go above their own nature. You can!?

As I was talking to my grandmother today, she happened to start talking about the war and how she can still close her eyes and see the planes flying over her house during World War 2 and how she had to run into the trenches to protect herself from the bombs in Burma. Nana said, one can never forget the pain of the war, but if you constantly are remembering only the pain then you won’t be able to live life. Then she continued to say that she is grateful she is still alive. The bombs fell, but Baruch Hashem, she was protected. At that moment I realized how my grandmother lives her life. She lives it through gratitude and that is why she is happy all the time. She focuses on the good not the bad. She could have easily played the victim card and said, “ I went through the war.” No one would have judged her, but she did just the opposite and does not dwell on it. She always tries to enjoy the people around her.

Here is one out of the 6 episodes that I recorded with my grandmother about her experiences during her life time and World War 2. ??

I find my grandmother inspiring because she continues to put this way of thinking in my head. Think about the good and be grateful that you are alive!?

Here is some of Nana's advice on how to stay grateful and happy.??

1. Each person has a choice. If you are happy in your life, you are very fortunate. If you are not happy, try to find something you are passionate about and go do it.?
2. If you see someone else unhappy in life and you have the ability to help, try to encourage them that life is worth living. Even if you just listen to them it takes away some of their pain.??
3. The main thing is to be grateful that you are alive because we only get one chance to live on this earth.?

Thank you so much for taking time out of your day today to practice gratitude with me. If you have not asked yourself recently what you are grateful for, try it today! ??

We are now entering the month of IYAR, which is the month of healing. It is the month of “Ani Hashem Rafaecha”. My bracha to you is whatever you are going through emotionally, physically, or mentally, I hope you are healed during this beautiful month of healing.?

Here is a link to my IYAR episode.?

Happy Rosh Chodesh Iyar!?

Have a great shabbos.

#themalyacam