The Practices of Confidence

How does anyone really build confidence in anything?

Is the work of being a confident and capable professional just one big process or, perhaps, a series of iterative processes repeated over time that build upon each other and lead to a desired result?

According to the 2011 Harvard Business Review article entitled How to Build Confidence, “the best way to build confidence in a given area is to invest energy in it and work hard at it”.

Though filled with great concepts throughout and two cases studies that are definitely worth a read, it was a reference to the concept of “practice does make perfect” that transported me back to the setting where some of the most valuable lessons in confidence-building were first learned – not offices or military drill fields but, rather, dance studios, orchestra and choir rehearsal rooms, and, of course, the stage.

Whether it was learning the splits and building the muscle memory to, one day, execute pirouettes without falling on my derrière, competing for “first chair”, singing in harmony as we were once voice, or studying a part in order to get “off book” before showtime, it was my practice time that determined my results and, ultimately, my overall confidence.?And no matter what anyone might say about “natural talent”, you can not cheat the game when it comes practice.?Period.

Though the world of work might not necessarily require intricate choreography, comfortably sight-reading in 5/4 time (blehhh!) or remembering lines per se (I know some of my favorite facilitators might feel otherwise) ??, I believe that anyone can enhance their confidence through abiding by series of dedicated practices. Rather than prescribing specific ones, with some influence from HBR, here’s a list of concepts and questions to consider:

• P ?is for Preparation – In preparing to succeed in your field of choice, are you immersing yourself in the latest research, theories and practices in your field??Are you able to not only articulate your understanding of them but also apply them in practical ways that generate positive results on a consistent basis??Does your preparation include receiving credible feedback from people that are doing what you want to do (i.e. professors, more seasoned professionals and practitioners in your field that can verify your work or provide guidance on how you might make it even better)?

Another thing…will your field of choice allow you to operate in the fullness of yourself each day and bring the very best of who you are to the table??Or might you have to hide, hold down, or hold back some parts of you and take on a “work persona” to survive?

And in terms of the energy it might take to prepare – the early mornings and late nights, the financial and emotional costs, and time spent away from family and loved ones in order to eventually “do your dream” – when you consider the ultimate goal at the end of your preparation, are you filled with joy, purpose and excitement about the work you’ll get to do at a sensory, somatic or even spiritual level? Or are you just filled with dread, stress, and sticker shock at the thought of the pending student loan payments and other work it will take on your part to be successful in the field?

• R is for Resilience – In order to have staying power in anything, especially on the tough days when set-backs happen, resilience practices are key.?This could be anything from water intake and proper nutrition to regular workouts and power naps, time with friends and loved ones, all the way to classes that are fun and not at all related to your field (because everyone needs a break!).?

Most importantly, having a “why” for keeping you in the game – a vision of the person you’ll be at the end of your quest or the people you’ll get the opportunity to serve can be a great way to bring you back to center and help you maintain both your flexibility and focus when challenges arise.?

So, when you’re not studying or working on your craft or when you’re just having a really bad day, what are you doing to help you keep things light and remain motivated during the (temporary) storm??

• A is for Active Pursuit – Are you actively pursuing (or sometimes creating) opportunities to do your dream??Are you volunteering with professional organizations dedicated to your field??Might there be an opportunity in your place of business to create “stretch assignments” that allow you to apply your emerging talents and skill set to the mission at hand??Who are the groups and organizations that need what you know and might benefit from what you either already do or are learning to do?
• C is for Courage – When you see opportunities to bring your voice forward, “be the change”, and innovate, are you seizing those opportunities with courage or are you shrinking back for fear of what others might think or say?

When it’s your time to give the briefing, teach the class, run the meeting, or lead the team, since you’re already doing the consistent work to be credible, what are you doing to ensure that you step fully into those moments and own the room?

• T is for Tenacity – For those that are either younger in the game or making the transition into a new field with little experience under your belt, sometimes you just have to wait your turn before its time to lead and, as they say in Hip Hop, “play your position”.?And you have to do so with patience, grace, and tenacity.?In other words, while you’re waiting, you’re doing the very best in the position you currently have while actively pursuing your future and preparing for your moment to shine.?As it has often been said, how we handle the (seemingly!) small things often determines where we end up and what our future opportunities look like.

So, when you serve people that have more responsibilities and more prestige than you, are you serving in a way that makes you memorable to them in a positive way??Might they call upon you to work on future assignments and other opportunities, simply because of the way you answered the email, typed the memo, greeting them on the phone, set up the conference room, and consistently anticipated their needs (which, in turn, helped them be more effective)??

How we handle the smaller things is our opportunity to show ourselves approved to handle more and do so with the kind of confidence that we could never acquire by our own power alone.

• I is for Intention – What is your intention for the work you’re doing??Who will your work serve??How will others benefit??Will those benefits last days, months, years??Will your work help you leave a lasting legacy of excellence that fills you with pride or dread, regret, and feeling as if you wasted ample time and resources that could’ve been applied in another way?
• C is for Confronting – On the path to more, there comes a time when we have to get a little confrontational – with ourselves, our negative beliefs and occasional patterns of sabotaging good opportunities.?On the days when we get feedback we may not necessarily like, the practice of “confronting the self” challenges us to ask the tough question…

“Might there be some truths in this for me to consider”?

And, in those moments where you find yourself doubting your abilities or feeling unsure, is it really a case of imposter syndrome bogging you down (as some might say) or, could it be that, in fact, you might need to take a step back and up-level your skills set and overall competency in your field before continuing your quest??In her Happily Ever Employed podcast episode entitled “Imposter vs Imposter Syndrome”, DEI Strategist and TedX Speaker Dethra Giles does a great job of breaking down the two definitions – definitely worth a listen!

On your journey towards greater confidence, might it be time to confront where you really are and decide if changes are in order?

• E is for Environment – Are you in the right environment to either have or build your dream job??Are there people in your environment doing what you do??Might it be time to consider a different location in order to do the work that you were meant to do?

Oftentimes, it is our environment – both the settings and the people we surround ourselves with – that determines our outcomes, outputs, results, and overall confidence.

• S is for Surrender – Like it or not, we have to surrender to the fact that we are not in control of anything but ourselves and our responses to life’s challenges that will surely come our way.?Through our surrender, there is still a wonderful opportunity to have gratitude for the dreams we have, the talent we have, and the people that have been sent along the way to help us turn our dreams into reality.?As we surrender into the things we can’t control, with our practices firmly in place, we can have confidence in the fact that we don’t have to do any of this alone.

With a series of daily, fundamental practices in places, I believe that confidence has no choice but to go upward. And as the article says…

“Confidence equals security equals positive emotion equals better performance”.

So, bottom line, even if your new in your career with little to no contacts or network to speak of, you’ve transitioned back to the workforce after time away, whatever your circumstance might be, as long as you’re willing to apply the Carnegie Hall rule to your work – or to practice, practice, practice – in time, you will get to your ultimate destination.?

Keep the faith and go confidently in the direction of your dreams – you got this.

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