Practice Honor - Raise your awareness!

“Don't judge everyone else by your own limited experience.”?

In the first decade of my transition as an immigrant to this country, I was deeply entrenched in the thought process defined by Christian organizations and their politics. I was surrounded by some very good people.

In the second decade, I encountered inhuman and disrespectful behavior from the same social class, which deeply challenged my social cognitive and Christian beliefs, especially as a woman. It made me think about the impact of polarized aka dualistic thinking – left vs right.

What changed? Politics.

There are 2 areas of human behavior, which show up consistently during political and geopolitical upheavals.

Judgementalism – what makes people judge the way they do?

People usually judge based on their experience and perception aka stereotyping. It is usually based on the generalizations defined by the group they belong to, including race, culture, and value system.

They make assumptions based on their understanding, level of understanding, which in turn is defined by their experience, knowledge, education, environment, upbringing, attitude, and social cognition.

People judge others to have more control over their beliefs. Feelings of inadequacy make people more likely to belittle others who have a healthier or different approach.

This phenomenon is reflected in people’s behavior in social media these days. Latest examples being retaliation against Taylor Swift, rich and successful people, in fact anybody who is better than them. Symptomatic of hypermasculine, and less empathetic behavior.

Passing judgment on others is ultimately a toxic projection, a reflection of how we feel about ourselves.

Judging does not require thinking or reasoning. Judging is more about a limited perspective. It’s how we define the world for ourselves. When we judge, we try to make someone else see the world as we do.

What makes people ignore boundaries - conscious behavior or unconsciously?

Although culture plays a huge role in understanding social distances, I think it’s more to do with asserting control and dominance over others. It’s more of a power play like rapists – power reassurance or power assertiveness.

How prominent they are and what makes them so deaf to the other side?

I have realized that it is their disrespect for the other side which makes them not want to listen to the other side. Also, one side thinks they are right and the other wrong. Self-righteousness and ignorance makes them block out the other side of the argument, psychologically and cognitively, and functions as an ongoing fixed bias.

Similar synonymous behaviors are exhibited during cultural transformations in organizations. Metathesiophobia (dislike for change) and disrespect for new thinking and people who instill change.

What can we do to be human and show respect? Identifying the “do nots” is much easier as it is readily available if you are mindful of basic human respect and behavior.

Do Not’s

• Do not make assumptions. Verify them.
• Do not impose your values, beliefs, or ideologies over others, however, important to your agenda.
• Do not use force – Forcing something will only lead to resistance and disappointment.
• A “No” is a “No” in any language or culture. Respect it. Back off.
• Do not undermine people or try to change them.
• Do not make people uncomfortable or violate their sense of justice.

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Do’s -

• Identify people’s beliefs and core values. Change comes from within
• Respect is earned not forced.
• Show respect. Approach people with inclusion, kindness, curiosity, and humility.
• In order to change the way, we treat others, we need to change ourselves.
• Humans engage with each other in the continuous pursuit to become our best selves. Create common ground.
• Be mindful of yourself, especially when you are transitioning towards judgementalism and disrespect.
• Create a culture of honor.
• Ask the right questions to create a safe place.
• Healthy confrontation depends on how safe those being confronted feel.

?Finally, raise your awareness and knowledge as human beings. Just because you think something is right does not make it so. Question your own assumptions and thinking patterns before you impose it on others. Respect the need for trust and honor.

Practice honor. Honor boundaries. Leaders build strength in other people. They transfer strength and life from this culture to everybody who enters it. At the heart of American culture is regard for the value of freedom.

Love to hear your perspective.