The Practice of Acceptance

Welcome back! I hope that you’re enjoying my newsletters and that you have made some new revelations with the mindfulness practices so far. I’d love to know how you’re getting on so please feel free to share comments or ask any questions.

Today I want to get right into mindfulness tip #4 – Acceptance

Through the concept of self-awareness, learning how to accept ‘what is’ can transform your life and bring you so much peace. When you can live in the moment and accept whatever comes your way without resistance through fear, doubt, and/or judgment you will begin to move through your days with more ease and clarity of what you’re doing at any given moment and without distractions in your mind.

Mindfulness is a practice that takes time. Always remember that the more you can be aware of your actions, thoughts, and negative tendencies the more you will be able to create the space for cultivating your true intentions and living more mindfully. I'm always catching myself and tripping up on my old habits and tendencies, and you will too. Look how long we've been thinking and reacting in ways that don't serve us well, it's going to take the rest of our lives to re-condition ourselves, but it's going to make the biggest difference in the end. I wanna go down with peace and love in my heart! :-)

Learning how to accept all things in life helps you manage your emotions and in turn can decrease your stress levels. It’s about being able to recognize when you are spending energy and negative thinking patterns around the situations and people that you believe to cause you harm or bad intentions. This takes us back to the expectations that we hold onto, remember to pay attention to them! (if you missed it, go back to newsletter #2 for more on expectations and how we self-sabotage)

Acceptance is something that we must practice consistently, just like anything else we want to master (or improve!) There is always something there to challenge, teach and guide us. Knowing the meaning of acceptance and really understanding what it is, is very important and can help you along your journey so that you can focus on cultivating more of it.

Wikipedia’s definition of acceptance; ‘Acceptance in human psychology is a person's assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition without attempting to change it or protest it.’

One of my favorite spiritual teachers, Eckhart Tolle, says this, “To simplify, acceptance means allowing; allowing unwanted private experiences (thoughts, feelings, and urges) to come and go without struggling with them.”

In addition, acceptance doesn’t mean that you support, agree or even like what is occurring in any given moment, it’s about giving whatever it is the space to just be there. It's about learning from your feelings, and reactions, around it and diving deeper into your own inner soul rather than worrying about the next person or thing. Being able to release the ideas or thoughts of how to control outside influences will give you the ability to sit with more peace, and we all want that, right?! This would be a good time to also practice the power of breathwork! ;)

Acceptance can be very difficult in some circumstances that are more intimate, like in our relationships. When we are close to someone, we think that we truly know them and can predict their character and know their true intentions. We think this because we have known them for so long. Not the case, my friend. We can never really know someone as we are all growing and re-inventing ourselves in so many ways, all the time, that we might not even recognize it in ourselves. With that said, if we don’t even really know who we are from time to time, or know what we truly want, how can we even begin to think that we genuinely know someone else or what they want?

Our perspectives, ideas and values change throughout our lives and through our experiences. So, to say that you truly know someone is a false statement. In turn, we have to accept people for who they were, who they are now and who they might be in the future. You might not like it, but then you have the wonderful freedom to choose what is good for you and what is not, what you’re willing to accept and what you’re not.

Choosing to learn more acceptance is a powerful gift that you can ever give yourself. Having compassion for another and offering them your acceptance is a tremendous step to your own mental health. You are releasing the need to control them (or the situation) and you are giving that space to something much bigger so that you can remain focused on what really matters... YOU.

First thing’s first, you must always start with yourself. Accept who YOU are, where you’ve been and where you are heading. Go back to mindfulness tip #1 and hold gratitude for who you are today and all of the wonderful gifts and talents that you have to share with the world and in your work. Embrace yourself! (Go on!)

REFLECT

In the next two weeks, I encourage you to take notice of a relationship that you might be struggling with at the moment. It could be a partner/spouse, a friend, co-worker or family member and observe what you might be trying to change of that relationship, really take a few minutes to sit down and think about what is causing you the grief or struggle around the acceptance of that person. Then I want you to list out the following questions and answer them openly and honestly. Allow yourself to be vulnerable here, don’t be afraid to face yourself and learn from your feelings and thoughts, even if they are negative. Let yourself be fully transparent and resist the urge to blame (don't go there!)

So have a seat, whip out the ‘ol journal (or laptop), take a few deep breaths and proceed with love and kindness

#1 Who am I struggling with and why?

#2 What do I want to change about this person?

#3 Do I really think that this person is the cause of my unhappiness?

#4 If I was able to change this person would that truly make me happy?

#4 What do I need to let go of around this relationship?

#5 Is it possible that I am struggling with something within myself, be it past trauma, emotional projection or…?

#6 Am I willing to let go of the need to control/judge? Why or why not?

#7 What do I really want?

It’s so important to give yourself the love and compassion as you would to your loved ones. Your heart is pure and waiting for you to do the work it needs to thrive and pump more happiness into your soulful being. Just be patient with yourself. I know you got this, and if you want to talk with me more on this topic, I’m here for you! I’m just a message away ??

Feel free to connect with me here on LinkedIn or on Instagram @mindfuljourneys

I look forward to connecting with you and supporting you however I can.

With Gratitude & Acceptance,

Angelic x

SPECIAL NOTE: Although my focus is around global communities, my passion for mindful living is strong and I want to share with anyone, and everyone, who is struggling with mental health. I encourage you to connect with me, my heart is open to all. I look forward to connecting with you, stay well and stay mindful ?

BOOK REFERENCE: If you’re interested in learning more through Eckhart Tolle’s teaching, I encourage you to read one of his amazing and thought-provoking books. My personal favorite is “A New Earth” but “The Power of Now” is just as inspiring ??