Practical Tips for Building Executive Presence: What Really Works For Us As Women In Tech

Two weeks ago, we discussed the double standards women face when it comes to building executive presence. It’s something we can’t approach the same way men do and expect the same results. Today, I want to dive deeper into what really works for us in building our executive presence—what allows us to have more impact, more influence, and, ultimately, a more successful career in tech.

In my work with women at the Lit Up Leadership Academy and my executive coaching practice, executive presence is a constant focus. It’s the key to thriving at work, ensuring your ideas are heard and taken seriously. Great executive presence opens doors and inspires trust in your leadership, whether it’s from your team, boss, peers, or stakeholders. Yet, despite its importance, it’s not something we’re traditionally taught.

Instead, we are often left to figure it out by observing role models who may not face the same challenges as we do. The earlier we adopt techniques tailored to our unique experience as women in tech, the faster our careers can progress.

Executive Presence: What It Means

Executive presence is your ability to command attention and respect in any room. According to a survey by Gartner, it’s the second most important leadership trait. Moreover, the Center for Talent Innovation reports that executive presence accounts for 26% of what it takes to get promoted to leadership positions.

There are three main categories to focus on:

1. Appearance
2. Communication
3. Gravitas

Let’s break these down.

1. Appearance: More Than Just Dressing Well

Appearance goes beyond how you dress; it’s also about body language and how you carry yourself. This includes how you present yourself physically—standing tall, making eye contact, and maintaining a strong posture. Avoid habits like crossing your arms or fidgeting, as these can signal insecurity.

Appearance may be the least important of the three pillars, but it’s still crucial. Dressing appropriately for your environment and being mindful of your body language gives people confidence that you take yourself and the situation seriously.

2. Communication: Be Clear, Confident, and Concise

Communication is not just about speaking—it’s about listening, too. Women in tech often feel pressure to prove themselves by jumping into conversations quickly, but this can come off as over-eager. Instead, we should practice giving others space to speak and focusing on clear, direct communication.

Here are a few practical tips:

• Prepare in advance: Know your key points and present them clearly.
• Avoid filler words: Remove phrases like "um" or "I think" to sound more confident.
• Listen actively: Acknowledge others’ contributions to foster collaboration.
• Be assertive, not domineering: Speak with confidence while respecting others' viewpoints.

3. Gravitas: The Most Critical Component

Gravitas is about staying calm and composed, especially under pressure. It’s the quality that inspires trust and signals you are a leader who others can rely on. Gravitas includes speaking the truth, holding people accountable, and addressing challenges head-on.

A few ways to develop gravitas include:

• Stay calm in crises: Use mindfulness and breathing techniques to maintain composure.
• Be honest: Speak with integrity, admit mistakes, and take responsibility for your actions.
• Inspire others: Share your vision clearly and motivate your team with both facts and emotion.

Remaining grounded and trustworthy builds your credibility and leadership presence over time.

Confidence Without Arrogance

For women in tech, especially, the line between confidence and arrogance can feel precariously thin. Confidence is essential for executive presence, but it needs to be paired with humility. The fear of being perceived as "too aggressive" often holds us back. This is why active listening, empathy, and receiving feedback are so important.

To avoid the trap of arrogance:

• Seek feedback regularly: Be open to insights on how you’re perceived and act on constructive criticism.
• Focus on self-examination: Look for areas of improvement without being overly critical of yourself.
• Show humility: Stay grounded and listen to others, no matter your seniority level.

Confidence doesn’t mean you never make mistakes. It means owning up to them and using them as opportunities for growth.

A Real-Life Example: Jane’s Story

Let me share the story of Jane, a client of mine who struggled with balancing confidence and humility. Jane initially received feedback that she lacked executive presence and confidence. However, past experiences had taught her to avoid being assertive for fear of being labeled as "aggressive." As a result, her communication style came across as either too passive or domineering.

We worked together on the three pillars of executive presence. Jane focused on her posture, prepared her key points in advance, and practiced active listening. Over time, she learned to speak with assertiveness while respecting others’ viewpoints, and she improved her body language to convey confidence. The result? Jane transformed into a composed and respected leader, earning invitations to senior leadership meetings and greater responsibilities.

How to Ensure Your Ideas Are Taken Seriously

If you want your ideas to be heard and respected, it all starts with how you show up.

• Body language: Stand tall, make eye contact, and use purposeful gestures.
• Communication: Be clear and concise. Avoid jargon, and use storytelling to make your message memorable.
• Gravitas: Show integrity and empathy. Maintain composure under stress, and always follow through on your commitments.

By combining confident body language, engaging communication, and calm leadership, you’ll ensure your ideas are taken seriously.

The Bottom Line: Continuous Growth

Building executive presence is a journey. It’s not something you perfect overnight, but with continuous self-reflection, practice, and feedback, you’ll see real results. The key is to embrace the strategies that work best for you and apply them consistently.

To all the women in tech reading this, remember: your voice matters. Building a strong executive presence will help ensure that your ideas are heard, respected, and acted upon. Don’t shy away from investing in yourself—it will pay off in your career and the impact you have on those around you.

If you found these tips helpful, I encourage you to share this article with other women in your network. Let’s support and empower each other as we build a future where women’s voices are celebrated in leadership roles across tech.