The Practical Secrets of AI Era Supercommunicators

In his terrific book, Supercommunicators, Charles Duhigg says there are three types of communications you’ll experience in everyday life:

• Practical: What you need to make decisions, plans, and get stuff done
• Emotional: Sharing feelings with each other, making personal connections
• Social: How we relate to each other as teams, groups, communities

Absolutely true, and important to remember. But let’s get even more practical and useful. Here are three simple supercommunicator secrets that must be honored. Or risk being ignored, irrelevant, useless, and ridiculed. (Be sure to enable images… Important info within pics.)

IF THERE’S ONLY ONE THING YOU TAKE AWAY from all the How Tos in this communication series... Please let it be this.... All of Number 1... The following is the foundation upon which everything else is built:

Without exception, everyone — (including you!) — is suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). Maybe not clinically. But certainly practically. Everyone is multitasking while checking out your communication. No one is paying as much attention as they should. (Right now, more than three quarters of you are multitasking or distracted as you surf these words!)

Everyone has way too much clutter, crap, and distractions coming at them. Too much to do. Too little time.

In Change Management 101, we learn: Always start with where people are. So to succeed as a communicator, you must embrace:

• ADD rules every communication receiver’s life. Period. Deal with it
• Even if you’re the boss, you can’t MAKE people pay attention
• You must earn their attention
• What earns attention: Providing the most value to them — (from THEIR perspective, not yours) — in the least amount of space and time
• You must compete for their attention. Infotainment rules! Your meeting, text, or email must compete with gazillions of things that are more fun, more entertaining. Get competitive. Be real. Stop Death by PowerPoint. Ban Corporate Buzzword Bingo. Be human. Grab and hold onto their attention.

Among your audience’s/receiver’s most precious assets: Their time and their attention. No one gets more than 1440 minutes every day. And they have the right to withhold or give their attention to whomever they choose.

They are seeking better returns on investing these assets. You need to provide much better WIIFM’s (What’s in it for me?) in return for them investing time and attention on your communication:

• Be super clear about how your communication will save the receiver time, and make it easier for them to work smarter not harder.
• Don’t lie or BS them. Don’t try to sell them that what’s in your communication benefits them when it really benefits the company. Be upfront about that. They will do things for the greater good — if you treat them well and cherish them.
• Show them in all ways that you value their time and attention. They will judge you by your entire communications portfolio — all emails, meetings, texts, tools, apps, marketing, holistically.

I created the Know, Feel, Do communication model 30 years ago based on the change management model: Head, Heart, and Hands. It is now used across the globe because it’s the universal structure for what everyone wants from you — rapidly — in all your communications.

It’s designed for an ADD world. It works because, within a few sentences, you can meet people’s sense-making and meaning-making needs; their emotional needs; and address the pressures on them to get stuff done.

• KNOW: Answer “What’s the one thing you need me to know, understand, or think about?” (Not five things. One!)
• FEEL: Answer “Why should I care about this?” Or… “Are you showing me that you care about ME in this communication?” (Can be as simple as “Thank you so much. You’re amazing!” Truly appreciate them.)
• DO: Answer “What’s the one thing you need me to do immediately after reading/viewing/hearing this communication?” (If it’s FYI communication [For Your Information], most everyone treats that as spam — ignoring it. Focus more on FYA [For Your Action] communication.)

This model is amazing when you practice it with empathy — putting yourself in the receiver’s shoes about their intellectual, emotional, and action needs. It’s the shortest path to engaged, motivated, focused behaviors. (Go here for more details: Communication Tools. Free.)

Bonus Practical Secret

Listen/Silent, same letters: Think about that! Same idea: Everyone gets two ears, one mouth. Use them in the same proportion. Spend twice as much time listening — (listening to truly understand... Not the way most of us do it: Listening to object or to immediately respond) — as you do sharing.

To Continue the Journey

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Bill Jensen is a seasoned strategy and transformation executive, advisor to C-suite execs, globally-known keynote speaker, and author of nine best-selling leadership and change books, including Simplicity, Disrupt, Future Strong, and The Day Tomorrow Said No. Reach him at [email protected].