A Practical Guide to Self-reflection

Thanksgiving is behind us, and the holiday season is in full swing. My presents are not wrapped, my cards are not sent, and my to-do list is only growing. I am already behind on many of my holiday preparations, and it’s easy to become lost in the chaos. 

I find it perplexing that each year - at exactly the time we should be slowing down - life seems to speed up. We get bogged down in the day-to-day, always feeling like we’re struggling to catch up. And yet, no matter how much we try, it can seem like we’re always falling behind!

That’s exactly the reason we must force ourselves to pause. Take a breath. Be intentionally still. 

It’s difficult to quiet a busy mind and deeply introspect. But if you prioritize self-reflection, it will not only calm you in the moment, but also ignite your future success. 

Here are three practical steps I like to follow as I stop and reflect throughout the year, especially at year-end.

Look back.

When I look back on my year, I first make a point to celebrate what’s gone well. I take the time to feel really proud of everything I have accomplished, personally and professionally. Everyone has something worth celebrating. Some years, you may have really big milestones - a new job, marriage, a baby. Other years, you might feel like you struggled to stay afloat. Find moments to celebrate regardless, and give yourself credit for the hard work you did and any achievements you enjoyed, big or small.

At the same time, take note of where things might not have gone as you’d hoped. It’s good to look back on breakdowns and understand what happened. But more importantly, what did you learn? What will you know to do differently next time? Ask these questions, but then move on, because if you dwell on mistakes you will miss future opportunities.  

Be present.

Yes, the end of the year is a busy time. It’s easy to get distracted by commitments and to-do lists. Avoid the temptation to fret about all that needs to be done. I find a good practice is to look for ways to intentionally appreciate the people I’m with. This helps me focus my mind on their needs and be more actively engaged in our moments together. At the same time, this fills me with joy and gratitude. A grateful heart helps keep everything in perspective.

Move forward.

After I’ve celebrated my past and appreciated my present, I start to get unbelievably excited about the future. This is the point where you can allow yourself to dream big, without constraints. Build a vision for what you hope to achieve in the next year. But don’t stop there. Dreams are just dreams, unless you have a plan in place to make them real. So get very tactical and define exactly what steps you’ll take to make your dreams a reality. Set checkpoints for yourself to assess how things are going, and know that you always have the option to pivot as life moves around you.

Finally, think beyond your own aspirations, and include in your planning how you can help others achieve their dreams as well. A great place to start is by encouraging them to create the space to do their own self reflection - to look back, be present and move forward.