Powerful Women Take and Own Their Power

I'm on a mission to propel more women lawyers to power positions where they can have more control over their careers, compensation, and courage. Today, we talk about the power of reflection and how to do it effectively.

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"Power's not given to you. You have to take it." - Beyoncé Knowles Carter

Many studies demonstrate that women, despite having more robust leadership attributes are more likely not to raise their hand or ask for what they deserve (and often, when they do, they still don’t get it). We need to shift this narrative. As Beyonce said:

“We need to reshape our own perception of how we view ourselves. We have to step up as women and take the lead.”

Powerful women take and own their power, and that is what I want for you.

One of the biggest mistakes I see professional women make is that they believe it is “icky” to ask for what they want and that if they wait- others will recognize them for their talents. 

This is a big mistake. 

Here are some tips to take and own your power...

Tip 1: Assess what you need to get to the next level and ask for it

Women who own and take their own power understand what they need to achieve the upward mobility they seek. Take the time to know your needs to get to the next level. Is it more speaking or pitch opportunities? Is it a strategic project or a coach to help you with management or communications?

Do not be impulsive in this exercise. Take your time to understand which will be most impactful. In thinking about this, look at reviews, how others have accomplished your goals, and speak to managers, mentors, and influencers.

In the conversation, do not act as if they are doing you a “favor.” Instead, explain why this ask will be a positive for the organization.

If the answer is no—ask why. Remember, you are entitled to this information, and this information gives you the power to make your own career decisions. Depending on the answer and how you read what you learn, you may want to discuss alternative asks or opportunities. 

Tip 2: Address Microaggressions

As most of you know, women’s ideas and thought leadership often do not always obtain the credit they deserve. Three major microaggressions occur.

HePeats:  When a man repeats a woman’s “ignored” idea, his feedback is positive.

Manruptions: When men interrupt women while they are speaking. For your information, the women Supreme Court Justices are interrupted a zillion times more than the men.

Mansplaining: When a man explains a woman’s area of expertise to her.

These microaggressions are not harmless. They impact how you are perceived, your compensation, and your opportunities. You need to address them when they occur.

Here are a few quick techniques to use in these situations:

• Nicely take back ownership of your space and ideas. For example, thank you for raising that point, I need a few more minutes to conclude mine, or I am glad that you liked my idea and how you approached it- if I may expand one more thing.
• Use a team approach. Create allyship with others to take back people’s space and ideas when you see microaggressions. 
• Use direct language and do not allow pauses where people can steal your stage or ideas.

Tip 3: Own Your Accomplishments & Opportunities

Often people do not feel comfortable owning their successes and touting why people should want to work with them. They believe it is “boasting,” and it seems too salesy and inauthentic. These people also think that their work will speak for itself. It does not. 

And because it is uncomfortable, attorneys often do not devote enough time, thought, and energy to their advocacy pieces and conversations. You must spend as much time on self-assessments and promotion memos as you would on a client’s brief. People must also hear about your accomplishments and what you are doing all year- and not just at year-end.

As mentioned last month, attorneys often do not invest enough time in their professional profiles. They have weak LinkedIn profiles and avoid telling stories that seem “self-centered.” These attorneys need to say to people who they are because if they don’t, the people will create their own version of her in their heads. And people rarely think that the meek and mild-mannered attorney controls the courtroom or the boardroom.  

When you take control of your career and your power—people trust you to take care of their needs. Powerful women do this.  

What more insights? Check out...

• My podcast episode with Belinda on Notable Leaders’ Radio: Take the Learning and Focus Forward
• Radio Interview with Close Up Radio. Check it out here.

Sheila is the CEO of Focus Forward Consulting. She helps intelligent and accomplished women lawyers go from uncertain and uninspired to unstoppable and attain power positions where they have greater control of their careers, compensation, and courage.