A powerful role model

When International Women’s Day comes around each year, I can't help but think about my own mom, not as a busy mother, caring for my brothers and me, or, even now as a grandmother, but instead, I find myself thinking of her as a young teenager.

When my mother was 17 years old, she left her family and home to start a new life. My mother grew up Pennsylvania Dutch or Amish. Her family had no car or electricity, living instead a simple life with plain clothes and few modern conveniences. My grandfather worked as a carpenter and ran a small farm, where he had a herd of cows. My grandmother kept the house full of kids and managed everything else.

My mother loved her parents, she was close to them throughout their life, and she loved her 10 brothers and sisters. However, when she turned 16, something clicked. She finally had a chance to make a decision for herself and chose a different path.

She went to live with a friend, who was Mennonite, stopped dressing in black dresses and white bonnets, and got a job at a local store. She was the first in her family to leave the Amish order. (She never joined the church, so they didn't have to "shun" or excommunicate her.) Several years later she would meet my father. They would date, marry, and settle down to build a life together.?

Proud of my mom

As a kid, I would tell friends in school about my mother’s Amish roots and I would get a million questions and the occasional odd look. I didn’t care that much about the looks, but I do regret now that I didn’t puff out my chest with more pride in telling her story.?

As for the questions: no, I never rode in a horse and buggy, I don’t know any Pennsylvania Dutch, and I've never wore black and a straw hat as I lounged around the house watching television. Yes, my Amish grandparents were different, but I always felt their love. They didn’t have a great understanding of my life ― as a kid try explaining trick-or-treating on Halloween or Little League baseball to an elderly Amish couple ― but they liked hearing that I worked hard, stayed out of trouble, and was a “good boy.”

Understanding her sacrifice

I knew that I had a different ancestry from my friends, but it took adulthood for me to truly understand it. I’ve come to respect my mother much more and the challenges she faced at such an early age. At an age when most teens are living day-to-day, she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. She knew that whatever decision she made would impact the rest of her life. I can only imagine the thoughts that raced through her mind the first night she stepped out from the Amish umbrella or the ones that came to mind in the ensuing days.

Even after leaving, she didn’t have an opportunity at a great education or an easy life. She had to work hard every step of the way, but she has never complained about her chosen path or life being hard. I asked her recently if it was a tough decision to leave and she said that it would have been a tougher one to stay. The death of a sister years earlier played a big role in helping my mother make her decision.

Making a different choice

My mom was ten-years old when she watched an elder sister die of cancer and felt that more could have been done to ease her burden. She was stung even more when the local Amish order questioned her parent’s faith for seeking outside medical help. When that happened, my mom made a promise to herself that she would never let someone get in the way of getting help for someone she loved.

When the time came and she had her chance, my mom put any negative thoughts out of her mind and carved a new path. She lost a few friends in the process, but she kept her faith and belief in something better. My mom never had the opportunity to work in the corporate world, but the challenges she faced remind me closely of the ones women face today in trying to break through the glass ceiling and take their rightful place at the leadership table.?

A life of value

My mom has had other highs and lows, but she?has often said she couldn’t imagine how it would be if she had not followed her conscience. I’m certain of one thing: her life would be foreign to what I know today.?

In the end, I’m glad she fought for what she believed in. In addition, I’m glad that age has helped me to better understand and truly appreciate her sacrifice, courage, and love. I hope I've lived my values like she has hers. If I accomplish half of what she has in her life, then I feel that I'll have achieved something.?

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