This Powerful Practice Helps You Transform Negativity

Happier YOU with Amy?Letter:?Transforming Negativity

Happy Friday! The past week had me get out of the house and plant some flowers in the garden, which now looks vibrant with different colors and is filled with gentle fragrance. I can't be happier :) Hope you had some delight as well.

Composing?today's Happier YOU Letter, I have a fellow writer, my little daughter. We are currently sitting at my desk looking out the window, a bright warm sun lit screen showing green buds merrily?bursting from many branches. And just like the trees transforming after a long cold winter, negative thoughts in our brain could actually be turned into positivity in our brains, if you know how and... just do it. So let's talk about the topic in this issue.

In my previous letter, I mentioned resolving negativity and getting out of your own head by going to therapy. For the big emotional challenges that need?to get healed, I'd always recommend professional help.?But also,?life happens any time and you don't always have access to a therapist / a coach all the time. Resentment?with your spouse. An unreasonable customer. A neglecting service provider. A poor performing team member. Being misunderstood by a close friend. Being alienated by your loved ones. A delayed then cancelled flight. The list can go on. It of course can include negativity triggered from a deep wound as well.?And you don't want them to get spiraled,?spoil your day, damage your relationship and harm your productivity.

Then what to do??

Your brain is like a garden where you want to remove the weeds and tend to the flowers and herbs so that garden is truly beautiful. If you don't, the weeds could invade the fertile soil for your favorite plants and soon, the garden will turn into a weed meadow.?Sometimes, you can hire a gardener to take care of them for you. Some other times, when the weeds sprinkle here and there, it may be a good idea that you do the work so they don't spread out. Since I was in primary school, I have been tending to the garden of my brain with a powerful tool: journaling.?

A few years ago, when I was back to Hanoi for a visit, my mom gave me a worn notebook she had been keeping for years. It was my journal. I opened an entry in there and skimmed through it. The beginning started with "Why was I born on this earth?!" The little girl felt so unloved.?I could feel the sadness, anger, disappointment in the words. I could feel the blame on the people who ill treated her or discriminated her. I could feel the unhappiness and heaviness that pulled her down all the way to questioning her existence.?

Then I read on. The little girl talked about how?hurt she was. I could see tears, lots of tears, behind the page. As the lines piled up on each other, something shifted. Near the end of the entry, she promised herself to study really hard to make her grandmother and mother proud. She had a reason for her existence. That moved her along.?

Till these days, whenever I get hit by negativity that makes me feel unease and not be able to focus on my daily goals, I journal. Sometimes, I do it right in my head through my meditation. But most of the times, I write it down as when we do, more neurons in our brain are fired giving us more materials to transform negativity. Some of my clients choose to form the same habit?and after a few months of regular practice, they see themselves find inner peace, solve problems faster, and overcome daily challengers from home to work?at ease.?

What happens when you journal is you label?your feelings and acknowledge thoughts, which make your Emotional Brain dampened. Since the amount of energy in your brain is limited, it's then channeled to your Logic Brain from the dampened Emotional Brain. Now as your Logic Brain is recharged,?it can think clearly with solutions. You withdraw lessons and you find the way forward. You are no longer a victim but?a hero. You shape the later part of that story with the drama at the beginning with the?ending you deeply want to see.

So negativity, if well tamed, is actually good material to strengthen our brain and make us take action otherwise never thought of, help us flourish in life just as the garden in our brain is adorned with more blossom.?

For a happier YOU:

Here's what I ask my clients who select "journaling" as their key happiness habit: What's your intention of making this happen? Buy a beautiful notebook and a really nice pen tomorrow?and put them right next to your bed? Open a blank page in Word and dump your thoughts the very next time you feel upset, agitated, disappointed, hurt...??

To guide your thoughts like the way a therapist or a coach does, use brain-based questions. Write about what happened, how you feel, and the beliefs behind it. Then use your mind to train your brain to shift.?The most go-to questions I use are:

Negative situation:?

• What’s the worst that could have happened but didn’t happen? / What am I grateful for in this situation?
• What does this situation teach me? / What do I learn here?
• What are the hidden opportunities that this challenge presents? / If this challenge is a gift for me to grow and become, how do I use that gift?
• What is the story about how I deal with this situation that I can later teach others who is on the same path?

Conflicts:

• What is my vision regarding the relationship with this person?
• What is the good in the other person that I may have overlooked?
• What is my vision for my life / work in the next few year? How does resolving this conflict fit into this bigger picture?
• What is the action plan for me to move forward to this vision?

If you train your brain hard enough, it will get to the responsive mode, flooded with positive emotions like empathy, compassion, love... which fuels novel solutions. I promise once you reach that place where your negativity is?transformed?into helpful action, you feel so light and your day can only be great.

It's simple, accessible, and cost free! So I hope you will journal as well, if you haven't done so.?To read some of my own entries and observe the magic of brain training, you can go?here.

Cleaning the dried maple leaves from my garden before the last light of the day says goodbye soon,?

Onwards to Happiness Infinity,

Amy Nguyen

P. S. If you love this newsletter and think your friends may benefit from it, I'd like to invite you to spread happiness and share?this subscription link?with them.

Photo: Spring in my neighborhood.