Powerful Lessons From My First Months as a Dad - LESSON #3: Simplicity

During pregnancy, my mind worried about what was coming after birth. My mind worried about me being able to care adequately for the baby. My mind worried about finding a balance between work, personal life, and baby care. My mind worried about the sleepless nights to come that would make me feel tired and low in energy. And my mind worried about a number of other things I spare you from :)

I am purposefully saying 'my mind worried' rather than 'I worried' because?while my mind was busy being concerned and anxious about the future, my heart was at peace, if you get what I am saying.

Deep down, my soul/spirit/inner being (whatever you want to call it) knew that everything would be alright, that I was going to do fine, and that there was nothing to worry about because I had the attitude and tools to deal with whatever was coming in my way.

Fast forward a few months, and guess who was right???

Of course, my heart!

Unsurprisingly, it turned out that being a father is demanding (very demanding!) but also more straightforward than my mind thought. In my experience since birth, as things unfolded, my wife and I have naturally adapted to the changing situation. I found caring for the baby intuitive and even fun! (As a boy, I've never got to play with dolls, so now it's my turn.) The sleepless nights were just a few and then disappeared. And the work-life balance, possibly the biggest challenge for us since we don't have family nearby for support, is a work in progress but not nearly as bad as my mind thought.

Plus, what my mind could not anticipate was the emotional state I was about to enter (and stay in it) after the birth: a state full of love, tenderness, and dedication that really helps to face challenges with a smile :)

Why am I sharing all this?

You might have had a completely different experience when you became a parent, or you are not yet a parent at all. This is not the point.

The point is that life is almost always simpler than your mind thinks. And?worrying about what could happen for days or weeks is a useless drainer of your energy and mood.

I am not suggesting ignoring your worries or any unpleasant emotion you feel. That is counterproductive. What I suggest is that?unpleasant emotions, similar to pain,?are only helpful for a moment to alert you of something. So you can analyse the situation and decide if there is something you can and want to do.

But staying in a state of worry is not beneficial at the least and detrimental at its worst. In this state, you will mainly focus on the problems, your headspace and creativity will be limited, and you will be unable to find the best solution to your challenges.

Like the Dalai Lama says:?'If you can do something about a situation, why worry? And if you can't do something about a situation, why worry?'

So I invite you to?pick something your mind is worried about. Something that is currently weighing on your mind. Something that is currently causing you concern.

And then take a moment to ask yourself...

1. What could I do to prevent my mind's worries from becoming a reality??How can I decrease the likelihood of this happening? (be stoic, focus on what is under your control)
2. What is the best that can happen??What is the best possible outcome? What amazing things could occur if everything goes well?

Be realistic and optimistic at the same time ;)

Your mind takes care of thinking about the worst-case scenario by default. Automatically. So,?it's only fair to proactively create the best-case scenario?and genuinely believe it can happen.

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Yes, this is the moment to pause the reading, take pen and paper, and create the best-case scenario. Don't skip this step. I promise you'll get value from this simple exercise.

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Now guess what? The best-case scenario (full or partial) is probably what is going to happen!

By creating a best-case scenario, visualising it, writing it down, feeling it, and believing it's possible, you are manifesting and raising the chances for it to happen.

And if it doesn't happen, you can do something about it later. At least you have lived in peace in the meantime ;)

I'm curious - what is your mind most worried about??

Feel free to open up. I am here for you.?

Love,?

Simone