Powerful Lessons from the Greatest Generation

Today is an important day in our family. It is our son’s 30th birthday, our nephew’s 9th wedding anniversary, and the day my father died in 2006. While the first two events are joyous and worth celebrating with gusto, it is my father’s passing that is on my mind. For many of us, relationships with parents can be complicated – and probably subject to over-analysis – but I think about my dad often, even though he’s been gone for 14 years. I learned many things from him, and I suspect I am becoming more and more like him as I age. I loved Papa and I know he loved me – and yet our relationship was mostly based on respect and admiration from a certain distance.

But beyond my own memories and reminiscing – and perhaps romanticizing – why does any of this matter? Put simply, my father’s generation, the ones we call "The Greatest Generation,” demonstrated a level of grit, determination, persistence, and perseverance that should challenge us all to do better, especially as we face our current challenges. As I trace the arc of my father’s life, I see this lesson in so many major events:

1.    My dad grew up in the depression. I know his life was not destitute – his father was a well-respected doctor and the family did OK during difficult times. But the depression was The Depression and that had an impact on everyone. While we have economic and social challenges aplenty today, my generation and my children’s generation just don’t have any idea of what life was like anyplace in the world during the 1930s.

2.    My dad fought in World War II. He watched others die at Iwo Jima. His ship was attacked by kamikaze planes. He saw, in person, the devastation of Hiroshima. America and its allies “won” the war, but hundreds of thousands came home changed forever. My father was one of them. I struggle to appreciate the sacrifice and challenges that brought.

3.    My dad lost his father before I was born. I know he learned a great deal from Bumpa Bach but losing parents early in life changes everything. There is no substitute, no stand-in for a mother or father lost. Even though my parents lived long, happy lives, and I still feel like something irreplaceable is missing now that they are gone.

4.    My dad was unemployed when I was born, became a senior executive at a big company, effectively lost his job, and then started over with a small business. For his generation, a man’s self-worth was largely tied up in his career, for better and for worse. My father was smart and talented, and yet I watched him deal with success and failure firsthand. I search for the grace to do the same.

5.    My dad was somewhat of a medical marvel who fought many serious diseases. He had meningitis, he survived lung cancer, he had both of his knees replaced in his 70s, he was an alcoholic and then AA life member. There were other issues I don’t even recall. Through all of that, he lived to be 83 years young, playing tennis and golf up until his last days. I hope to be so lucky.

Through a few words and many actions, my father taught me one momentous and life-changing lesson: Achievements are nice and success is earned…but we are really measured by how we address and overcome the obstacles we face.

As I climb on a soapbox for a moment, please forgive the pointed critique. Sometimes the “truth” is painful, impolite, and unpopular. But today, we point fingers way too easily and way too publicly. We assume it is someone else’s job to fix things that are broken. We postpone issues that will damage the lives of our children and our grandchildren. We are less tolerant, more distrustful, and less optimistic about the future. We justify gross and obvious inequities and allow them to expand. We are losing the ability to have civil conversations and to work together. The fabric of the liberal society built through the blood, sweat, and tears of my father’s generation is being pulled apart. And that scares me.

On this day, I think about what my father would have said or thought or done in the face of Covid-19, economic decline, and the realities of racism in America. Of course, there is no way to know for sure. But I know this: the example he set tells me that we must overcome the obstacles we face – and that is a question of effort, energy, and character. A challenge for all of us to live up to each and every day. Now, more than ever.