Powerful Coping Mechanisms

You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control

what goes on inside.

– Wayne Dyer

Have you ever wished that you could find a simple coping mechanism that would help you manage your stress, especially when the world feels as if it’s crowding in on you? It’s an important question because it encourages us to ask ourselves how we typically deal with the constant pressures and challenges that seem to show up every day.

When you’re struggling and under pressure, it’s easy to imagine that there must be some instant psychological answer to the way you’re feeling. The reality is that your feelings are often connected to the problems you’re experiencing and this is where we need to focus our attention.

When it comes to dealing with stress, the truth is that there isn’t one simple answer. If we’re being honest, life is frequently difficult, disappointing, scary and destabilising. Talk to anyone who’s lost their job, suffered bereavement, run into financial difficulties or experienced health problems and you’ll immediately recognise that their distress was always deeply connected to the things that were happening in their lives.

Instead of recommending a course of therapy, it might be more appropriate to focus on the practical steps we can take to alleviate the problems that are facing us. If we could resolve the difficulties that confront us, would we feel better? Yes. In all probability, we would feel much better. Because our stress was directly connected to the problems we were dealing with. It makes perfect sense. That’s why we need to develop the habit of dealing with our issues rather than consigning them to a forgotten corner of our minds where we secretly hope they’ll somehow just disappear.

When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.

–????? Winston Churchill

This is a very helpful insight into the nature of stress because, on the one hand, we will always benefit from learning how to tame our instinctive, fear-based reactions when we find ourselves facing a crisis. But we can also recognise that we benefit enormously from our willingness to deal with the crisis itself.

Too often, the emphasis is on modifying our behaviour as a substitute for dealing with our challenges. Have you noticed that? Perhaps that’s because we believe that it’s easier to make adjustments to our thoughts and feelings rather than making changes in the fabric of our lives.

However, in order to grow, life requires us to face up to the problems that are affecting us. That doesn’t imply that we should simply accept stress as an unavoidable shadow that’s always present as a permanent background feature of every day’s experience.

It’s very important to learn how to reduce our fears and anxieties because lowering our stress levels actually enhances our ability to think clearly and rationally. We’re usually much better equipped to deal with our problems when we’re able to engage our higher brain function. That’s where our bright ideas and our creativity come from.?

Remember that stress doesn’t come from what’s going on in your life. It comes from your thoughts about what’s going on in your life.

-?????? Andrew J. Bernstein

Ignoring the problems can become a habit. Focusing on lowering stress can become a displacement activity that seeks to take your attention away from any areas that feel uncomfortable.

The answer is to remember the importance of breathing deeply, of relaxing the tense muscles in your jaw, neck, throat and shoulders. Take a moment to calm down. Smile. And then turn your attention to the situation that’s causing you concern.

Use a pencil and a sheet of paper to make notes and help you explore possible alternatives. Your mind will immediately respond to this calm, rational approach and it will offer insights that will help you to feel that you’re back in control of your life. The answers don’t have to be perfect. They’re often stepping stones to further ideas. We should never underestimate the power of human creativity! We know that taking action is a very effective way to enhance your personal sense of empowerment.

You are braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

–????? Christopher Robin

So, in summary, effective coping involves a dual strategy: One internal and the other external. We begin by physically influencing our stress triggers to lower our anxiety and then, in a calmer and more rational frame of mind, we turn to face whatever’s causing our distress and look for ways to resolve the problem.

Humans have survived over hundreds of thousands of years and grown to dominate the planet by employing insight, ingenuity and our intelligence to overcome a vast array of difficulties. We flourish when we are able to co-operate in mutually-supportive relationships. We thrive when we seek to help each other. We progress when we learn to turn down our fears and turn up our creativity to make the world a better place to share. Let’s work together to make life better for ourselves and for all the others who share the world with us.

If you enjoy these blogs, you can imagine how much fun it is to have Greg in the room as an inspirational and highly perceptive speaker. If you’d like to invite Greg to talk to your company or organisation or event, either in person or via a live link on the Internet, feel free to get in touch.

You can contact Greg and his Team at:

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