Powerful Conversations: Epic Results When You See, Hear, and Understand a Person

Interpersonal skills, the ability to effectively communicate, behave, interact, and empathize with those in your charge, is not a light switch to turn on or off. They are needed 24/7.

Every conversational experience is coated with emotion, infused with information, that can be more complicated to be understood by another from just the surface.

To me, intuitively listening to deeply know and sense the other “whole” person in good times and stress-filled ones, from their past and present, is critical to support the transition into their next version.

Growing up with a special needs brother had a significant positive impact on me, more than I ever realized. Joseph (“Jophus” is what I called him at birth) has Downs Syndrome and is nonverbal.

Our family home was on a cul-de-sac. One day I caught him peering over the sill of the living room window. He was focused on the young neighborhood boys playing basketball in the circle. From the look on his face, it was apparent he wanted to join them. I knew those kids would not welcome him into their game. To them, Jophus was different.

Without his asking, Jophus and I went outside to play after those boys left. Despite our height differences, we were equally terrible and spent more time chasing the ball than dunking it. That didn’t matter. ?Jophus got exposure to the experience of trying something new. It brought joy to his face and fulfillment to my heart.

Over the years at his school, Jophus had the opportunity to spend time on the basketball court. Sharing the experience with his peers allowed him to get pretty good at it.

When we act as an observer of the people in our care, noticing body language and vocal tone is a clue to the internal feelings bubbling up. Call it intuition or just empathy, decide to be sensitive to their needs in the moment then do something to support them.

Underlying all conversations are the inescapable transmission of subtle emotional undercurrents, power discrepancies, and other unconscious inequalities biases. Encounters between people are a contextual combination of the visible and the invisible, making potentially conflict resolution conversations even more difficult.

People have different life circumstances, personal histories, and expectations that construct their current realities. Yet, we all share the need to be seen, heard, and understood. For any successful (especially hard) conversations, there is a need to focus on getting outside our own perspectives and respectfully, with an open-mind, step into that of another. We can then more fully grasp how the world looks to them and bring assistance or comfort forth.

Honing interpersonal social skills and asking for feedback to check in during the conversation will create deeper connections to build rich relationships. It’s priceless to be that pivotal person that another is forever grateful to.

Life has a simple, basic premise that humans tend to overcomplicate.

Employee/Student:?????? ?????????????Why are we all here?

FOCUSED Leader/Sage:???????????? To help each other.

It’s been decades since I took this picture of Jophus (center) flanked by two boys who lived next door. I never imagined how simple bonding moments with my brother would help to direct my career destination and shape the person I am.

We may never have perfect inclusion, but we can be the light for one person at a time to initiate a ripple effect.

#interpersonalskills #focusedleader #management #career #leadershipdevelopment

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