Powerful Business Relationships: Trusting, Sharing, Self-Management

Sherman et al. (2014) have written an inciteful book entitled Five Keys to Powerful Business Relationships; their subtitle is quite engaging: How to Become More Productive, Effective, and Influential.? Let us explore these five points and see if we agree, disagree, or have similar “notes” to add to the keys.? If we agree or not, we could explore the inherent question of whether most of the leaders and colleagues we know or know about tend to follow these keys harmoniously or reject these principles and cause discord.

***** Connect First, Then Focus on the Task

***** Learn by Walking in Another’s Shoes

***** Whether People Trust You Is Often up to You

***** Share Information to Increase Your Personal Power

***** Manage Yourself Before You Manage Others

Connecting First (Key One)

We have probably all experienced the opposite tendency, “When we feel stuck, when the deadline is pressing, when the problem seems insurmountable, our initial tendency is often to focus even more strongly on? the task that is troubling us” (Sherman et al., 2014, p. 2). Time and habits may be the keys to getting unstuck.? In many organizations I have worked at, suspense dates (due dates) are often dealt with as “begin working and complete this task on Date X”; in order to avoid this “last minute” mindset, we could make all of the appropriate people connections as soon as we get the “tasker” and make sure the people or person responsible for completing the task has the knowledge, the resources, and the bandwidth to complete the task sooner rather than later.? Angst often interferes when we wait until the task is due to find out what we are missing and then time becomes paramount and people “become the perceived problem.”

Walking in Another’s Shoes (Key Two)

This point is paradoxical.? According to Allyson Apsey (2025), we don’t want to take this principle too literally as the other person’s shoes will not fit.? What we really need to do is not think about “how we would feel” in the situation, but how “they feel” and clearly, we don’t always to take the time to as questions such as:? “Do have time to complete Y” and “Do you have the knowledge and resources to complete Y.”? Time is critical as we may need to tap another subject matter expert (SME) if one or both answers are negative.? Sherman et al. (2014) point out that their second key is essentially about empathy.? The “other” person could be the SME completing the task or the customer expecting a user-friendly product, which does not always correlate with an elegantly designed product. In my early years in Silicon Valley, programs would often display cryptic error messages which would send the user to Technical Support asking what the “blankety blank’ message means.? In 2025, we still seem to have the same problem and Technical Support staff are always needed.? Writing better error message seems to be a good example of putting ourselves in the user’s shoes and asking whether the message helps the user solve the problem or just sends the user to the phone asking for clarification.

Trust Starts with You (Key Three)

Richard Kramer (2019) has written a thoughtful dissertation about trust. In addition to emphasizing the importance of trust, the challenges of building and maintaining trust, and the uphill challenge of rebuilding lost trust, Kramer defines trust as “the willingness of one person (trustor) to be vulnerable to the actions of another person (trustee) based upon the positive expectation the trustee will act to benefit the trustor, notwithstanding of the trustor’s ability to monitor or control the trustee” (p. 10). In other words, a trust relationship is a two-way relationship with two central points with a connecting positive expectation between the trustor and the trustee.? Sherman et al. (2014) also emphasize the dual “U” in the trust relationship (a mutual understanding): “Trust is the foundation of all powerful social and business relationships…at the heart of any business relationship is the notion of reciprocity. That is, I will help you and in return, I expect that you will help me” (p. 96). The Sherman study gives an example of a football team and extends the concept to the team concept in the business world: “Therefore, trust is critical to healthy relationships between individuals, within teams, and throughout organizations” (p. 96).

Share Information (Key 4)

We have probably all worked with coworkers who tend to hoard information in order to maintain their edge as a subject matter expert (SME).? Hopefully, we have most likely worked with other coworkers who strive to be mentors and teachers and willingly share their information and insights.? Undoubtedly, we have oftentimes had many internal “discussions” about when to share information and when to save information for another time. ?Sherman et. al (2014) characterized these two mindsets as “older” and “newer”: “In an older business model, people tended to see knowledge as power; the more they hoarded information, the more powerful they were….In newer business models, such a notion is turned on its head. In many cases, sharing knowledge and building relationships now make you more powerful” (p. 10).

Katya Hill (2025) makes the connection between information sharing and effective communication.? “Sharing relevant insights, data, or knowledge can help team members and departments achieve their goals, improve their performance, and foster a culture of collaboration and teamwork” (screen 1).? Interestingly, if we have freely shared information, we have most likely observed two behaviors.? Some coworkers readily give credit to coworker who shared information or helped to solve a problem.? Less trustworthy coworkers, on the other hand then to “hoard” credit and take credit for solving a problem of finding critical information rather than sharing the credit.? This dichotomy connect to a key point the Sherman study makes about the interconnections o their five keys. Sharing information builds trust; receiving information or help and then taking credit rather than sharing credit damages or destroys trust.

Note: In many environments the “need to know” is a prevailing factor.? We always have to make sure the inquisitive coworker has a need to know (NTK) before we share information too freely.

Manage Yourself Before You Manage Others (Key Five)

According to Ian Munro (2025), self-management is a key to surviving and thriving. ?“Self-management is the ability to regulate your emotions, behaviors, and actions effectively to achieve personal and professional goals” (screen 1). Munro identifies goal setting, accountability, adaptability, self-discipline, emotional regulation, and management of time and stress as key elements of self-management.? Sherman et. al (2014) describes our ability to manage our own self-talk and our own fears that can keep us from being the best version of ourselves.? The describe self-knowledge as: “…perhaps the most critical kind of knowledge–as a foundation to your managerial and personal effectiveness….Better understanding of ourselves allows us to be better listeners, problem solvers, colleagues, and customers (and lovers). It enables us to communicate more clearly and more effectively” (p. 11).

Concluding Thoughts

Perhaps the most valuable element of the Sherman et al. (2014) study is their extensive bibliography.? The categorize their list of references along the structure of their book with major sections of references focusing on Why Care about Powerful Business Relationships, sections on each of the five keys, a section on Virtual Relationships (valuable and prescient as this book was written prior to the pandemic). Most businesspeople can relate business discussions to the workplace before the pandemic, during the pandemic, and post pandemic.? Younger workers, however, joined the business world during the pandemic or during the “new normal” post pandemic. All workers now need to adjust practices and communication styles toward digital platforms.? Regardless of the platform, the Sherman study points out that “most businesspeople dramatically underestimate the skill–and the time?required to communicate effectively (p. 170). They quote George Bernard Shaw as saying “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place” (p 170).? Sherman et. al acknowledge that their five keys to not guarantee successful relationships but the keys can help us navigate and negotiate trough the complexities,

References

Apsey, A. (2025). Don’t put yourself in others’ shoes. https://allysonapsey.com/2019/11/dont-put-yourself-in-others-shoes/

Kramer, R. (2025). An examination of trust between civilian employees and military members in a military organization [doctoral dissertation]. Argosy University. https://www.academia.edu/79094141/AN_EXAMINATION_OF_TRUST_BETWEEN_CIVILIAN_EMPLOYEES_AND_MILITARY_MEMBERS_IN_A_MILITARY_ORGANIZATION?email_work_card=title

Hill, K. (2025). How to share information with team members effectively. https://www.joinassembly.com/blog/how-to-share-information-with-team-members-effectively

Munro, I. (2025). Self-management skills: a guide to thriving in the workplace. https://www.betterup.com/blog/what-is-self-management-and-how-can-you-improve-it

Sherman, S., Sperry, J., & Vucelkich, S. (2014). Five keys to powerful business relationships: How to become more productive, effective, and influential.? McGraw-Hill. ?https://www.google.com/books/edition/Five_Keys_to_Powerful_Business_Relations/CQQbAgAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=Five+Keys+to+Powerful+Business+Relationships&printsec=frontcover

Link to related mini-essay:

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