The Power of Your Words
What effect do your words have on people? Do you know?
When I was little, I could only see my father every-other-weekend, per court order, in exchange for the child support he paid. But he always told me, "Just know that you can call me anytime you want and I'll always be here for you!" So, of course, as a young girl, I had to test that out and see if it was true, right? So...…………...……….
There were times when I was having a very hard time with life and needed to hear words of affection from him. There were times when something great happened and I needed to share it with him. There were times when I just felt alone and needed to know that he was emotionally "there" with me, even if only in spirit. And there were times when I needed to dump all over someone and I knew he would be able to handle anything I dished out, where other people in my life wouldn't.
But then there were times when I felt hurt and angry and overwhelmed and I didn't even know what I wanted when I picked up the phone. So I just didn't. Only a few times in my life did he actually call me. But the times he did, one of the most important things he would ever say to me (I didn't know if he knew what it meant to me when he did)?:
"I miss your face."
Because I never felt beautiful as a girl. I saw the other girls in my classes and congregations. They had beautiful faces and great bodies and fabulous clothes. Even their hair and jewelry were better than mine. I knew that meant that they were better than me. Just comparing myself to other females frequently hurt my self-esteem. Then looking in the mirror when I already felt bad just made everything worse.
But when papa said those 4 words to me, I felt like that was his way of saying 2 different things:
- Who you are is beautiful and I would love to be with you right now.
- Your precious internal beauty shows when you are happy. I would love for you to be happy so I could see it and enjoy it.
Those 4 words meant that he truly loved me and genuinely wanted me and really enjoyed my soul. So they were put in a place in my heart that was very special and private. Now, when my husband tells me that he "loves my face", it means to me that he actually thinks that I am wonderful and he likes my soul. Yes, he loves me too, obviously. But those words are about more than just love. Many people love me. But they don't all like me, right?
I hear those words from my husband all the time. And they never get old. As an SP, he likes to truly enjoy my physical beauty. And, yes. I know that many of the men that I know and am frequently around do enjoy my physical beauty. They look at me frequently and compliment me generously. That's nice, too. But those other special words are meaningful to me because as a young girl, they healed my whole being: including my heart and mind.
"I love your face", to me, means 'I see your heart and mind and who you are genuinely makes my life better'.
Do you know what words make you feel that way? Do the people in your life know? Would you be willing to tell them? Are you comfortable hearing them?