The Power of Your Name

Growing up in a relatively traditional Indian family as the firstborn American wasn’t easy. There were lots of set expectations and traditions parents bestowed on you, where they would latch on to the traditions they knew but the traditions sometimes competed with the social norms of that time period. Looking back, I uncovered obstacles that I did not realize were obstacles until very recently.

Some background: My entire life, I’ve gone through my name being pronounced “Min-all”, “My-nil”, “Man-il”, ”Mina”, when it should be “Mean-ul” — two syllables and relatively easy letters. This is something in my life I never bothered to correct but always wished that my parents gave me an easier name. It starts when you’re little and you try to correct your friends or teachers but then you see the uncomfortable struggle and you revert back to making it easier.

Somewhere along the lines you just give up and give in to the nicknames so you don't have to continue to correct them. You cave under pressure to conform and accept that you will only hear your name said right when you’re with family or with super close friends.

I sometimes tried to reestablish myself as Minal for iconic moments to reconstruct my brand. “Mean-ul, you’re going to meet the First Lady of the USA, say your real name and say it right”. Starstruck and in awe, FLOTUS said my name perfectly and said I fully embraced myself. This was by far one of the most exciting moments of my career and I wish I could say I applied this courage to my everyday life but I didn’t. I'd love to give myself an A for effort, for having courage in a fleeting moment, and for trying but the reality is it didn't stick because I didn't push hard enough to make it stick. I gave up because this change felt greater than me.

Every now and then someone asks what is your real name is and how you say it. And with this question, I’ve gotten various reactions to my name from “that's beautiful” to “I hate the way that's pronounced, you should keep it the way we have been saying it” And so, the desire to correct people ebbs and flows and you decide again, it's not a big deal and conform to society's expectations.

But, it is a big deal. Somehow, you start to hide your culture, hide your true self, and adjust to the American way of life.

This all changed for me 2 years ago, when I joined Salesforce. When I first met my manager, she said my name correctly. But then she heard me introducing myself as “Min-all” to someone and asked me if she was saying my name wrong. I said to her “it's not you... it's me”. It was me who needed to change and recorrect how I was I was introducing myself and reclaim my name.

This has never happened to me before, and I was having an identity crisis. Suddenly my two worlds started to collide in the best way possible. The voice in my head was finally unifying, I was able to be “Mean-ul” at home and at work. This took time for me (and to be honest, I am still adjusting to it) because even I wasn't used to introducing myself as Mean-ul, I was trying too hard to make it easier on other people.

Even my team pronounced my name correctly and - what’s more - they took the time to correct others to pronounce it right. THIS was the momentum I needed, the change I needed, and the change was hoping for all along. The change, that was greater than just me as I now had allies to back me up, it was the power and determination of my team to ensure I fully embraced who I was. This gave me the strength to correct it in front of others again. I realized my name is worth pronouncing, it’s worth the time to say it how it is meant to be said, and it’s an integral part of my roots and who I am.

Almost 2 years later, I can tell you this means the world to me.

I have a strut in my step. I speak up more. (yes, that is possible!) And feel like I can truly embrace my true authentic self.

So, I am writing this to say there’s a lot of power to a name and it’s important to let everyone embrace their own name no matter how hard it could be to pronounce. Don’t give up, don’t dismiss it, and don’t make up a nickname because it’s easier for you or the people around you. I am writing to encourage those with beautiful and unique names to correct others and for those that might know someone to stand proud and tall in the room to help them too.?