The Power You Need For The Habits You Want

Are you struggling to start a new habit, or break a bad one? Systems like Atomic Habits and Tiny Habits make the task of habit formation easier — but as you’re finding, they’re not enough. Until your new habit becomes, well, habitual, you’ll need one more thing.

Motivation.

Some days, your internal motivation is enough.

Other days, no matter how much you shrink the obstacles between you and what’s good for you, you still need some external motivational oomph to get you over that hump.

I’ve sought external motivation through gamification (Habitica), reward systems, checklist completions, and gold stars on the calendar. All felt artificial to me, without heft. I just ignored them.

(Those methods work for many people, though, so might for you as well. Give them a try.)

What does work for me is accountability: telling other people what I’m going to do, then whether I did it. If I failed, tell them why I failed, and how I’ll do better tomorrow.

Why Accountability Works

If you care what others think of you, you can turn peer pressure into a powerful motivator by sharing your goals, successes and failures with others: accountability

And even if you’ve freed yourself from caring what others think (and you should!), you can still tap into accountability’s power.

For example, while I don’t give a f*ck about peer pressure, I do care about being true to my word. Turns out that includes following through on goals I’ve shared with others: accountability.

You’ll need to find a person or group who will hold you accountable. Could be a partner, family member, friend, coach, therapist, or community. I started a habit accountability group to fill this need for myself and others (read to the end for the link to join).

My Accountability Method

Everyone’s different. You’ll need to find what works for you.

If you need a starting point, you can try the method I use, as shared with my accountability group:

• At the end of each day, for each of your target habits, post "Habit (Goal): How You Did". Example: "Write (at least 1 minute): 20min".
• You decide when your day ends. I'm focused on sleep and the consequences of my day's actions on my night's sleep, so my day ends when I wake up the next morning.
• If the goal varies from day to day, also include your plan for the next day. For example, here’s how I control drinking some days but not others: "Alcohol (dry): none. Plan for the day: 1 drink at each of two Thanksgiving dinners." Setting your plan at the start of the day is essential.
• Once you have a habit locked in and don't need motivation (like I've locked in daily exercise), feel free to stop posting it. You can always restart in future if you start slipping.
• Speaking of which, it's OK to fail. In your post, reflect on why you failed and what you'll do differently.
• In addition to daily lifelong habits, you can post limited-time and even one-day goals where accountability would help. Be sure to post the plan at least one day in advance. Example: "I will stay out of political discussions at Christmas dinner tomorrow."

I’m Pulling For You. We’re All In This Together

Ideally you want accountability to work in both directions.

In addition to sharing your own goals and results, engage with others' posts. Give a like, a supportive comment. If we feel no one is paying attention, we aren't going to feel accountable.

Be respectful, supportive, inspiring, inspired. Just because we're each on our individual journeys doesn't mean we have to walk alone.

If you want a community to walk with, join us in “For The Journey”, my habit accountability group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1081724416612511/

Commit in the comments: will you act on this? If so, how and by when? If not, what stands in your way?

Mindset, exercise, nutrition, sleep, relationships, passions, finances: the 7 Pillars of Thrivespan.

Thrive Now. For Life.