The Power You Didn't Know You Had: Unlocking Your Latent Influence

Have You Been Underestimating Yourself?

Do you assume others pay little attention to your words or actions? Many people think their influence over others is negligible—until evidence proves otherwise. Research shows that we consistently underestimate how much others notice us, value our input, and are willing to follow our suggestions. Even those in leadership roles often misjudge how their actions are perceived, missing opportunities to lead effectively.

But here's the catch: failing to recognize your influence isn’t just about missed opportunities—it can lead to unintentional outcomes you later regret. The problem isn’t that you lack influence; it’s that you’re unaware of the influence you already have.

What if the key to making a meaningful impact isn’t about gaining more influence but rather learning to recognize and harness the influence you already wield?

The "Influence Lens" Model: See, Feel, and Experience Your Impact

Think of influence like a lens. Just as a camera adjusts focus to reveal hidden details, you can shift your perspective to uncover the influence you may not realize you hold. The model has three steps:

1. See Your Influence
2. Feel Your Influence
3. Experience Your Influence

By consciously applying this mental model, you’ll sharpen your ability to understand and wield your influence more mindfully and effectively.

1. See Your Influence: Get Out of Your Own Head

We tend to miss our influence because we see the world from a first-person perspective. Our words and actions might resonate deeply with others, but from our vantage point, their responses often feel invisible.

Imagine you’re watching a game but can only see your team’s side of the field. You’re oblivious to how the other team reacts. To truly understand the dynamics, you need to watch from a third-party perspective.

Action Step:

• Visualize a recent interaction, like a team meeting or a tense conversation. Pretend you’re an observer watching a replay. What dynamics do you notice? How might your words or actions have influenced others?
• Schedule 10 minutes every few months to reflect on critical conversations from this perspective to identify your role in shaping outcomes.

2. Feel Your Influence: Ask, Don’t Guess

Another reason we underestimate our influence is that we assume we know how others feel about our words or actions. Yet research shows that guessing—no matter how empathetic we think we are—often leads to inaccurate conclusions.

Trying to guess someone’s feelings is like reading a book with missing pages. You think you understand the story, but key details are missing. The only way to fill the gaps is to ask.

Action Step:

• During or after a meaningful interaction, ask the other person questions like, “How did my suggestion land with you?” or “What did you take away from our conversation?”
• Use their feedback to better understand the emotional impact of your actions and adjust your approach accordingly.

3. Experience Your Influence: Test It Out

Fear of rejection often holds us back from testing our influence. We assume others won’t respond positively to our requests or compliments, but research consistently shows the opposite. By taking small risks, you’ll quickly discover that your influence is stronger than you think.

Think of your influence as a flashlight. You may not realize its reach until you point it into the darkness and turn it on.

Action Step:

• Ask for a small favor or offer a heartfelt compliment. Observe how people respond.
• Practice expressing gratitude or admiration more often. The more you test your influence, the more confident you’ll become in using it intentionally.

Bringing the Model to Life: Everyday Use Cases

1. In Leadership: You hesitate to suggest a new strategy, fearing it will be dismissed. Instead, you present the idea during a meeting. Colleagues not only embrace it but build on it, proving your ideas hold weight. Reflection: How can you take more initiative to shape discussions?
2. In Relationships: You’ve been meaning to thank a friend for their support but worry it might come off as overly sentimental. You express your gratitude anyway, and they share how much it meant to hear it. Reflection: What’s one small gesture you can make today to show appreciation?
3. In Personal Growth: You’re reluctant to ask for feedback on a recent project, assuming it won’t be well-received. Instead, you ask—and receive constructive insights that help you improve. Reflection: How can seeking feedback unlock hidden opportunities for growth?

The Cost of Inaction

If you don’t recognize and use your influence, what are the consequences? You may miss chances to drive meaningful change, advocate for yourself, or support others effectively. Worse, your unintentional influence may lead to outcomes you regret, leaving you feeling powerless and disconnected.

Your Call to Action: Turn on Your Flashlight

Take five minutes today to reflect on a recent interaction. How might your words or actions have shaped the outcome? Then, take one small step to test your influence: ask for a favor, share a compliment, or express gratitude.

By seeing, feeling, and experiencing your influence, you’ll unlock its full potential—and use it to create meaningful change. Are you ready to wield the power you didn’t know you had?

Joel Sadhanad is a learning and development veteran, leadership coach, facilitator, and speaker.

He is the author of The Unexpected Leader (https://amzn.in/d/024XkMtm), a racy narrative about artificial intelligence taking over leadership roles in a fictitious organization.

Joel sadhanand also offers pro-bono 1–1 personal coaching for anyone looking to enjoy a reflective conversation. calendly.com

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